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Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!? Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!?

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Unread 03-03-2008, 08:37 PM
Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!?

IM 34 YEARS OLD & My Surgery Was 5 1/2 Weeks Ago. My Husband Has Been So Wonderful To Me & Has Taken Very Good Care Of Me. The Problem Is Im Almost Ready To Go Back To My Gyn & IM SURE HE WILL ASK The Sex Question. My Husband Is & Has Been Ready For A Few Weeks Now. I Love Him & Want To Make Him Happy, But I Am Scared!! Im Not Scared Of Him & I Do Want To Restart Our Sex Life, But Its Like So Horrifying For Me To Even Think About. I Have Had My Own Urges, but Im So Afraid Of The Thoughts OF SEX I THINK That I Could Wait 6 More Months. I Dont Know Why This Is An Issue With Me & I Was Just Wondering If Anyone Else Went Through This & How They Over Came It. Someone Please Help Me Understand This!!
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Unread 03-03-2008, 09:08 PM
Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!?

Right now (4 weeks) I still feel too tender in the abdomen to feel comfortable with the whole idea. I have warned DH that it may take time beyond when we are cleared. I think somewhere in the post-op site it suggests starting with other activities and seeing how that goes...that might help you get over the fear...
Unread 03-03-2008, 09:52 PM
Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!?

Two more days for me and I too am very afraid. I've been joking about being ready and from some of the things that happen while I'm sleeping, I'm ready but I too am afraid. I'm afraid that it will not be good for my hubby any more and that I'm damaged goods. This is not usually how I feel about things but I'll be honest with you and tell you that I'm afraid.

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Unread 03-03-2008, 09:58 PM
Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!?

Thanks For Letting Me Know That Im Not Alone. I Cant Put My Finger On Why Im So Afraid. Theres Not Really 1 Thing Sticking Out In My Mind Of Why Im Scared. Maybe Fear Of Pain, Bleeding, Or Just Differences In How It Feels? I Have No Clue,but Im Having More & More Anxiety The Closer My Dr. Appt. Gets.
Unread 03-03-2008, 09:58 PM
Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!?

I also was apprehensive and anxious about resuming sexual activity. The dr. released me at 4 weeks. Yes I know that it is 4 weeks tomorrow. But you know. My feelings about this were unfounded. We had the best sex of our lives. YEA!! So there is hope out there, just go slow and let your DH know your feelings, he probably already know. Good Luck
Unread 03-03-2008, 10:44 PM
Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!?

Today was my sixth week post op. I go on Tuesday at 10 am for my six week post op appt. I'm scared to death to. I don't know if it's because i'm afraid it will hurt or that maybe I will bust something lose or what but I am willing to wait a while longer. I will talk to my Dr about my fears tomorrow and will post what he tells me when I get back home.
It's ok if we are scared. We had a lot of things happen to us and it's normal for us to apprehensive about having sex. I talked with my DH today and told him I may not be comfortable just because a DR says it's ok or safe.
I will be praying for each of you and I guess we will have to want it bad enough to take the chance
Unread 03-04-2008, 04:39 AM
Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!?

I think it is kind of like the surgery... We just don't know what to expect... I plan on taking it slow and maybe use a little extra lubricant to ease the way. Happy returns to a full life
Unread 03-04-2008, 05:33 AM
Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!?

I think it's perfectly reasonable to be worried about your first sexual experience after your surgery. Sex is a very intimiate thing and it goes to the root of our feminity, so it's logical that you might be afraid that something will not be right now when you and your husband share this deeply personal moment. But if you read messages on this board about this topic you will see that many women (I might even say most) report that sex after their surgery is fantastic, and I can count myself among them. My best advice is to discuss all your concerns with your husband and take it very slowly the first time out. Don't be alarmed that something's wrong if it hurts a little -- it did with me, but my husband was infintely patient and we worked through the process together until the pain went away. The "first time" proved to be some of the most gratifying intimacy we have ever had. We Sisters are definitely not damaged goods after surgery!
Unread 03-04-2008, 08:52 AM
Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!?

As some of the other women have said, let your husband know how you feel, take it slow, use lubricant and honor your feelings. If you aren't ready to go ahead just because the Dr said it's okay because you don't feel healed enough, then wait. At 3 months post-op the sex is fantastic. One thing tho that has changed - I almost always use to bleed (or thought I was going to) after my boyfriend and I had sex. Sometimes it would take a couple days but it always seemed to trigger the fibroids into doing their thing. That doesn't happen any more. Still hard for me to believe!
Unread 03-04-2008, 09:23 AM
Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!?

I think it is quite normal to be scared. I will be 10 weeks post op this Friday and I still haven't gone there with DH.

To be honest we haven't gone there since Sept 2007 That's when all my issues really affected our sex life. Even though the issues have always affected that part of our life. DH has been great for the past 12 or 13 yrs LOL. I am not even quite sure I have the urge. That is probably a hormone thing though

Sorry I don't have any advice.

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