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Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!? Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!?

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Unread 03-04-2008, 11:14 AM
Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!?

I was released at 3 weeks and DH and I had our fun for the first time this weekend. I was sooo scared. DH understood and we started very slow but ended up having a great time. I was so suprised, no pain! It has been a long time since I had no discomfort at all. I actually started to cry afterwards. DH has been teasing me since saying, "It still works" and winking at me.

I completely inderstand the feeling. I was going to wait another week but finally just wanted to get the first time over with.
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Unread 03-04-2008, 12:16 PM
Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!?

It is SO normal to be scared. At 6 wks my dr said he would release me for sex, but that what I told my husband was up to me! I was tempted to tell him the dr said longer. But, he knew from all my research that 6 weeks was pretty standard.

It took us several tries and different positions to get it somewhat right. It still is a little uncomfortable at first, but quickly gets better - I had a/p repairs done as well, so more incisions than hyster only. I also think I need a little more help with hormones...I'm on estrogen only, and think I might need a little testosterone in the mix. Extra lubrication is a good idea...we definitely needed it.

Just take it slow and be patient! Good luck! And you'll find that no question is too personal here...many are willing to share the most intimate info to help out a sister! So if it makes you feel more prepared and comfortable, ask all the questions you need!
Unread 03-04-2008, 01:36 PM
Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!?

I know I am scared as well. I feel like I did after giving birth each time, I thought I don't even want to think about anything going back in there! I had my check up and was really nervous about getting cleared. At the last minute I said something about it to the Dr. and he paniced and asked if we had tried it yet and I said NO!! He told me because of my post. repairs I had to wait until 3 months post surgery. He had never told me that I needed to wait past the 6 weeks. I got a reprieve for now! Poor husband though, the day we are cleared is the 1st day of a week long business trip for me. While he will be with me, we have 4 little shaparones in the room with us!
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Unread 03-04-2008, 01:52 PM
Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!?

wow...i wish my dr had made me wait - i had a/p repairs, too!! oh well...i guess no use postponing the inevitable!
Unread 03-05-2008, 07:37 AM
Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!?

Sorry I read about the repairs needing more time. I had extensive repairs too and last night was technically the night and DH was ready but we were having a thunder storm and our six year old grand daughter was here with us and I was afraid that she would be frightened. He was so sweet and went to bring her into our room where she said she wanted to sleep on a sleeping bag beside our bed but she was sleeping through it just fine. Of course, we are in a holding pattern.

Unread 03-05-2008, 09:04 AM
Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!?

I can really understand what you are going through. I found myself scared. Not having a cervic reallly scared me. I'm 5 weeks post op had lvah and dr given me the go ahead to proceed as usaul. Dh and I tried other stuff first several times to see how that would work and feel. Everything went great. Then actually did it just for the sake of doing it without any expectation of following through. Did happen though. Went fine. Was alittle stressed so wasn't the way it showed be. Used a really good lubricant. Next time there will be emotion behind it. Dr hushand like yours has been great and was willing to wait. I just wanted to push through the fear to get rid of the unknown. Allow yourself to proceed on your terms. If you find it unconfortable stop and finish it another way. It still will be nice to connect no matter how it ends. It will bring you closer together.
Unread 03-06-2008, 10:19 PM
Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!?

Originally Posted by SUEZYQZ
IM 34 YEARS OLD & My Surgery Was 5 1/2 Weeks Ago. My Husband Has Been So Wonderful To Me & Has Taken Very Good Care Of Me. The Problem Is Im Almost Ready To Go Back To My Gyn & IM SURE HE WILL ASK The Sex Question. My Husband Is & Has Been Ready For A Few Weeks Now. I Love Him & Want To Make Him Happy, But I Am Scared!! Im Not Scared Of Him & I Do Want To Restart Our Sex Life, But Its Like So Horrifying For Me To Even Think About. I Have Had My Own Urges, but Im So Afraid Of The Thoughts OF SEX I THINK That I Could Wait 6 More Months. I Dont Know Why This Is An Issue With Me & I Was Just Wondering If Anyone Else Went Through This & How They Over Came It. Someone Please Help Me Understand This!!
Thank you so much for initiating the conversation about sexual fears! You have articulated what I have been feeling for so long.

I had a absolutely great sex life with my DH until my endo symptoms completely curbed my sex life two years ago. I am 5 months post op from my hyster (had a second surgery 4 weeks ago and had my kidney removed due to endo).

I went on HRT 3 weeks ago and I am starting to feel a few "sexual stirrings". I am hoping that the patch will start to be absorbed in my system and I might be able to get my sex life back after my kidney removal recovery.

My DH has been so sweet and kind; the poor man has been "sexless for almost two years"...I am surprised that he hasn't left me.
Unread 03-06-2008, 10:51 PM
Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!?

When You Have A Dh That Is Loving They Understand Our Emotions & Feelings Of Being Scared & Unsure.
Unread 03-07-2008, 07:14 AM
Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!?

Yes I agree with you. My DH understood the anxiety and fear without being told. See sometimes they do get things without directions, Ha, Ha.
Anyway,all the fears (will it work like before, will there be pain, will I want it) were unfounded. In my case and I am sure many others sex is much better in one aspect or another. Sometimes I think that my uterus, ovaries, and tubes were another brain that controled me, the inhibited one that is. I have a very high pain tolerance so I did not notice that much was wrong. Now that the uterus is not there I so notice that there was a ton of pressure. I told the Dr. that it was like a brick suspened from a string in there. My uterus weight over twice what it should have, not a big deal compared to most of you, but what was odd was that it completely filled the pelvic cavity. No wonder the pressure.

Anyway now that it is gone there is renewed feelings. ERT is great if you can do it. I started before I got out of the hospital.

Reading all the posts really helped me and I hope that it helps you
Unread 03-07-2008, 04:26 PM
Im Afraid Of Having Sex.... Why!?

As everyone else said, it's okay to be scared. I wasn't comfortable until I was three months postop, (I'm now over five). I can tell you we are NOT damaged goods! In fact, it is so much better and passionate, I think because the possible pregnancy and/or bleeding issues are no longer there. Take it slow and you will be amazed!!

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