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4 Weeks post op and feel so guilty 4 Weeks post op and feel so guilty

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Unread 03-08-2008, 04:23 AM
4 Weeks post op and feel so guilty

Hi everyone
I just wanted to write down how I am feeling. I am 4 weeks post op and feeling so guilty that I am not recovering more quickly. I potter about the house but if I try to do more than just make a cup of tea or a slice of toast I am in such pain. Even emptying the dishwasher or tyring to do the laundry ends up with me in pain.

I try to walk outside every day but only manage a couple of hundred yards and I am in pain, my belly bloats up and goes hard and even sitting is too uncomfortable so I end up lying down.

Work are already asking me when I will be going back - telling me stories of others who have had a hysterectomy and returned to work in 5 weeks, or 6 weeks and I feel like they think I am a malingerer.

I just want to be better - is it too much to ask.

Thanks to anyone who reads this, and love and hugs to anyone else who may be feeling the same
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Unread 03-08-2008, 04:51 AM
4 Weeks post op and feel so guilty

Please don't feel like this... first of all remember, each person and each surgery is different... When we try to compare ourselves to each other we end up making bad decisions about our timing. The purpose of this forum is to give each other strength. My week 3 and 4 were worse than week 2. But week 5 went pretty good. I even made lunch for another couple yesterday and was up all day... No nap!! But that being said, today I am sore and belly is hard again...They tell me this will go away. My boss called last week and told me I could wear stretch pants to work so that will be a blesssing... Please take care of yourself and don't rush it.
Unread 03-08-2008, 05:49 AM
4 Weeks post op and feel so guilty

Hugs! You certainly didn't choose to heal slowly so it isn't your fault. I didn't start feeling normal again until this past week, but my energy is still low and my belly still bloats up easily. And this is all considering I had a vaginal surgery so they didn't go through the abdominal wall. I'm guessing your coworkers that were back in the saddle so fast has less invasive surgeries. Each surgery is different so just because there is one word, "hysterectomy" in common, doesn't mean the same thing was done to each of us. I admit to being a bit envious of the sister that posted she had surgery on Thursday and was back at work on Monday feeling great. I did feel a little guilty with my family doing all my work, but frankly, now that I'm up and about, I realize they did a pretty crappy job of it so I don't feel so bad,

Hang in there, you will make great strides over the next few weeks.
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Unread 03-08-2008, 06:13 AM
4 Weeks post op and feel so guilty

Hi allyb

don't want to scare you, but if you are in any doubt of the importance of taking care of yourself, read the 'what do adhesions feel like' post. It tells you what the consequences of overdoing it are.

I'm 12 weeks post-op, have been back to work as a teacher part time for 3 weeks, and am exhausted.

Believe it when people say, you only have one chance to heal. It doesn't matter what they think at work...

Gentle hugs
Unread 03-08-2008, 07:14 AM
4 Weeks post op and feel so guilty

take as long as you need to feel better without feeling guilty. have you tried wearing an abdominal binder? that might help when you walk or stand for a period of time..the support might make you much more comfortable.
Unread 03-08-2008, 08:52 AM
4 Weeks post op and feel so guilty

Don't feel badly about whateve time it takes to heal. I am 4 weeks post op also and yesterday was my first day going for a walk. I am definitley just in the putter around the house mode!

You definitley have to get in the mind set to get past feeling guilty and letting others help you. I know I had my first surgery in Nov and then another doozy on Feb 8th. I have no DH so both times I have had to reach out to family and friends and ask for help. I HAD to mentally get past how guilty I felt about that. My second surgery was an emergency so I literally plucked them out of the middle fo their days! Sometimes we DO need help and our friends and families want to do more for us than most of us are comfortable accepting. it's just a woman's nature. I do know though that once I gave it up, I have felt better.

I did tell everyone though that I hope to NEVER have to return the favor
I am wrtiting down the nice things I'd like to do for them when I am finally up and about.

Hugs and just enjoy the rest and get better!

Unread 03-08-2008, 09:00 AM
4 Weeks post op and feel so guilty

Thanks so much for your replies, and Starbgirl great to hear someone else is just pottering! So far today I truly have done nothing, just read and drank tea and surprise surprise my pain isnt as bad. I guess I just have to get my head around the guilt and get over it.

Love and light to you all
Unread 03-08-2008, 09:16 AM
4 Weeks post op and feel so guilty


Week three and five were the worst for me and then I finally started to feel better. I refused to feel guilty about having one, complete recovery. And when it was all said and done, my house was still standing, DH and DS were still alive, and I went back to work. During week five I had so much right-sided pain I was having anxiety about going back to work the next week. You will be suprised at what a difference there is in a week or two of taking it easy. Week six is not a magical number, you will still get tired and have some aches, do not push yourself too hard. I have lost count, I am 11-12 weeks out and still have fatigue and minor aches if I over do it. So for now, sit back and rest, let your body heal.

God bless,

Unread 03-08-2008, 11:08 AM
4 Weeks post op and feel so guilty

ally - have you signed up for the Checkpoints? Here are a couple of links - they give great guidelines on how active you want to be as you recover. Each one covers a two-week period in your recovery, up to week 6.



The "don'ts" from week 4:
# But be careful and don't: lift anything over 10 pounds
# vacuum
# mow your yard
# shovel snow - not even a little bit!
# visit your place of employment. (They will think you are well enough to come back to work!)


Reading all of them will be helpful - the last link has stuff on when to go back to work, and how, and how you might be feeling.

Unread 03-08-2008, 02:13 PM
4 Weeks post op and feel so guilty

Don't feel guilty. You need to take the time you need to heal. If you don't take the time now, when will you find the time in your schedule to do it?

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