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Nothing missing, yet not quite right Nothing missing, yet not quite right

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  #1  
Unread 03-14-2008, 03:00 AM
Nothing missing, yet not quite right

I don't know what I was expecting post-op. It's been a week now for me since I had my total hysterectomy (both ovaries out).

I've always had this great/cursed mind-body connection. So in tune with my body, I could often identify problems before my doctors did. Sense when I was getting a fever long before it registered on the thermometer. When you live with multiple health conditions, as I do, you learn to pay attention to your body's tells, instead of its poker face.

Anyway, I just thought that I would have this sense of something missing from my body after the surgery. This physical knowledge that my body imparted to me that said "hey! You no longer have a uterus or any ovaries, what's going on here?" Or a sense of emptiness in my pelvic region. So, I am a bit disturbed by the fact that I've had no such feeling. Everything feels exactly the same (except for those wondrous hot flashes and night sweats), and that in and of itself disturbs me.

Sure, there's the emotional aspect of it, that sense of irreversiblility of it, of the loss, of what I gave up for "quality of life" but...

Has anyone out here felt anything like this? Or am I alone in this, as I feel alone in so much right now?
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  #2  
Unread 03-14-2008, 04:28 AM
Nothing missing, yet not quite right

I do know about identifying problems inside, but I do not know about endo.
I can tell you this... my uterus was only about 4" x 4" x l/2" thick so maybe that is why you did not miss it... They really aren't large unless they have fibroids or tumors...
wishing you a speedy and healthy recovery.
  #3  
Unread 03-14-2008, 05:00 AM
Nothing missing, yet not quite right

Hi Tooyoung

I'm guessing that you were mentally prepared for this surgery and got your head into the space that said "I don't need this part interfering with my life anymore" before your surgery date. If that's the case, your body wouldn't be missing anything because it was ready to let it go. You could still feel that loss somewhere down the road, but for now your body was obviously ready to be rid of the part that was causing you problems.

Remember to continue to rest and pamper the princess!

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  #4  
Unread 03-14-2008, 05:32 AM
Nothing missing, yet not quite right

Perhaps there's no sense of loss because you still have all the parts that really matter?
  #5  
Unread 03-14-2008, 06:39 AM
Nothing missing, yet not quite right

You aren't alone. I had an SAH/BSO and feel the same way but I couldn't put my finger on it until I read your post. It's still early in the game for me and I don't want to jinx myself, but since my recovery has been relatively smooth (some hot flashes), the main reminder that things should feel different is when I look down and see my incision.

I think Tracy was right about being mentally prepared for surgery. I had a uterus full of fibroids and had researched every option before deciding on a hysterectomy. I was at the point where I wanted this over with so I could resume my life.
  #6  
Unread 03-14-2008, 06:46 AM
Nothing missing, yet not quite right

Hi! You're not the only one who feels this way. I'm nearly 4 weeks after my TAH and I still don't feel like I'm missing anything. I was just talking to one of my girlfriends about this the other day! Unlike some, my problems were not causing me any pain, but it did generate a lot of worry. So yeah, maybe psychologically, I knew that getting rid of my cervix and uterus would be a good thing overall and a good decision for my own survival.
  #7  
Unread 03-14-2008, 04:20 PM
Nothing missing, yet not quite right

I'm six months post-op and not once have I felt anything was missing. I just have felt a great freedom from pain the the monthly ups and downs. I know that there was something that led me to this decision long before I found a doctor who agreed. I wouldn't look at it as a negative, but as a positive -- as someone else said, "you have all the things that still matter..."
Best of luck
  #8  
Unread 03-14-2008, 07:50 PM
Nothing missing, yet not quite right

Thanks for all the great input! Oddly enough, I was not nearly as mentally prepared as I should have been prior to the surgery. It was only a couple days beforehand that it really got into my head what I was going to be doing. I was really avoiding the issue and faking the "okay-ness" so that I didn't have people questioning my decision.

I guess my concern was more for my mind-body connection -- I hope I haven't lost it along with my uterus and ovaries!
  #9  
Unread 03-14-2008, 11:25 PM
Nothing missing, yet not quite right

Thank God for your good fortune. Seriously. I feel empty and totally changed, even almost 2 years later. I thought I was too young too (as your login implies); I was 37, which isn't exactly a kid. I don't actually know what the average age is - does anyone know? Now i feel old. BUT, glad to be rid of the physical issues it was causing. Have to take the bad with the good I guess.
  #10  
Unread 03-15-2008, 05:31 PM
Nothing missing, yet not quite right

toyoung, your mind body connection may just be hiding right now as you recover, it hasn't been that long. I just LOVE your quote, gave me a good chuckle!!!!! It shows you have a great sense of humor and you will feel your old self soon and your connections will be there. Your quote cracks me up. I know a few people I'd like to pour ketchup on........
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