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Sex after hysterectomy Sex after hysterectomy

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  #11  
Unread 03-19-2008, 09:04 PM
Sex after hysterectomy

Dear Husband = DH. I told DH last night as he was lying in bed in the buff watching TV to put "that thing away" I don't even want to see it! He laughed pretty hard.
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  #12  
Unread 03-19-2008, 09:11 PM
Sex after hysterectomy

It is almost a year since my total hysterectomy. Everything was taken out except my cervix, due to too much endometriosis. I hate to be the poor sport in this group, but sex has just never been the same. I don't have the big "O" everyone talks about, and actually I could care less if I ever have sex. Just no interest. Guess that's good because I have no boyfriend at the moment. Before I had to start faking it, and I hated that. I just don't get any pleasure out of it at all. My body has changed so much. I'm not on any HRT at all. Drs. won't put me on it. Said it was too much of a risk. I do use the Estrogen vaginal cream. The last time I was with my boyfriend it was just like going through the motions. It didn't turn me on at all. Is this the way I'm going to have to live for the rest of my life? There are so few real pleasures left. Now I have to deal with this? Well, it's the pits. And I use plenty of lubrication too. Anyone else feel like this a year out?
  #13  
Unread 03-19-2008, 09:37 PM
Sex after hysterectomy

We've only tried it twice and it was not very successful. Now we are both 60 so we are no longer teenagers but I have been very disappointed. The first time I guess I had a terrified look on my face because I was scared to death--- mostly because of the extensive repairs I had done. The second time we tried it was in the middle of the night after we had entertained guests into the wee hours and it was just not great--- no pain but just a disappointment. I guess we should never have even tried it then. I have been so sick with spring allergies that we haven't even tried for about a week. So far, I'd have to say that it has been a bust. I sure hope things get back to normal soon.

Downyocean
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  #14  
Unread 03-19-2008, 09:52 PM
Sex after hysterectomy

  Quote:
Originally Posted by downyocean
We've only tried it twice and it was not very successful. Now we are both 60 so we are no longer teenagers but I have been very disappointed. The first time I guess I had a terrified look on my face because I was scared to death--- mostly because of the extensive repairs I had done. The second time we tried it was in the middle of the night after we had entertained guests into the wee hours and it was just not great--- no pain but just a disappointment. I guess we should never have even tried it then. I have been so sick with spring allergies that we haven't even tried for about a week. So far, I'd have to say that it has been a bust. I sure hope things get back to normal soon.

Downyocean
I'm starting to wonder something. When they did my surgery, I couldn't have it using the LAP method. Instead they cut me from one side of my ovaries to the other. And it still feels numb to this day, almost a year post op. I'm wondering if they cut a lot of nerves inside too, and that is why it's not exciting anymore. It's sad, because one day I hope to find a nice guy again. But the sex part just has no appeal to me at all. You have only had your surgery in January, so you still may have time. Me. it's been almost a year. I've about given up hope. I'd like to have the big "O" but I just can't. The drs. don't tell you all this stuff that comes after the surgery.
  #15  
Unread 03-20-2008, 09:44 AM
Sex after hysterectomy

wow thats scary to think about, I have always had issues with the "O" but I hoped that have this thing done would make it better. My doc took out all but one ovary so that way I would still have hormones and not need pills. I cant wait to be with my DH but I hope it wont be so bad after the first time. Sounds a little scary when they say it could be painful the first time and how it will stretch in time. Patience isnt something we have and nor do we have time. We have 3 kids and we only get peace and quiet around 9 and we are in bed by ten as we both work full time. Crazy about what may come and what may or may not happen.

I like having these discussion rooms cuz it really helps me think about things and being able to talk about it with other women is great too. Best wishes to everyone! GL.
  #16  
Unread 03-20-2008, 09:52 AM
Sex after hysterectomy

I am 10 weeks post op TVH (kept ovaries), the first few times weren't great but which each time it gets better, "the big O" gets better each time and it is better now than was pre op. Hope you have a great experience!
  #17  
Unread 03-20-2008, 09:57 AM
Sex after hysterectomy

Thanks! Its too bad that we have to wait so long, my hormones say yes and my body says no! Its crazy! Glad to hear that some have good experiences though, gives me some hope!
  #18  
Unread 03-20-2008, 11:18 AM
Sex after hysterectomy

My partner and I had intercourse for the first time since my TVH yesterday.. and it was better than expected. It was kinda funny, because we took a more clinical approach to it - seeing how things felt, talking about it the whole time, etc. Then again, I've always been really in touch with my body and have a very sex-positive attitude.

One tip I'd pass on for the first time is try the starfish position (that's with the man on his side, and woman on her back at a slight angle with the legs criss crossing each other). This is a position that neither partner is having to use a lot of effort, both partners are in a resting positions, you can keep in good eye contact and both partners have about equal control of thrusting (speed and depth). It worked really well for us as we explored. And when we were sure all was working, we moved on to other positions.

I did find that deep thrusting isn't quite feasible yet for us - it just felt too tender. I also noticed that there was a lack of feeling of things inside being moved around during intercourse - as if my uterus and cervix has been removed.. oh wait. It wasn't a bad feeling... just different.

I've been masturbating since about day 4 post-op, and I'd say on average my clitoral orgasms have been more intense than before. This was quite surprising to me, even though I definitely feel an absence of uterine contractions.

I was quite surprised that during intercourse yesterday I easily reached vaginal orgasm - that would have been a rarity beforehand. I'm curious to see how things continue and if that was more a response from not having had much action in the past 5 weeks.


I was a bit sore and tender afterwards, even though we primarily had shallow intercourse (avoided deep thrusting for the most part). I seemed to have good natural lubrication the whole time (something I'm very happy with). But all and all, I'd say it was positive and left me with confidence that I have hope sexually.
  #19  
Unread 03-20-2008, 11:26 AM
Sex after hysterectomy

Well thats great, sounds like something to look forward too. I cant wait till that day comes, its too bad we have to wait so long in order to be intimate. Its like having kids all over again except without all the stitches.
  #20  
Unread 03-20-2008, 12:20 PM
Sex after hysterectomy

I've had no desire whatsoever since my hyst in Oct 07. We have tried lots of times, but it's so painful I can't enjoy it and it's got to the point now where my DH is now reluctant to start anything because he doesn't want to hurt me.

We've been married less than two years, and although DH is really understanding, it's not fair on him and I already feel like my marriage is over.

I also wish someone had talked to me about things like this beforehand. In fact, no doctor has talked to me about this since surgery!
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