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Share a funny story from your hospitalization! Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

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  #1  
Unread 03-18-2008, 02:02 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

We all know going to have major surgery is a major scare, and results in pain, yadda yadda, but it is a fact of life for us gals, so let's share some of the humerous moments:

Someone here posted a story of how the nurse was trying to show her DH how to insert her catheter, and the nurse was instead pushing it into her clitoris- I thought that was hilarious!
My own story: 1st day post op, I was thinking of taking a hot shower and getting that hospital "smell" off me... when in walked my Nurse's Aid for the day, and he was a man. So I declined, and thought, I'll wait ill tomorrow.
Dontcha know it, next day's Nurse's Aid was ALSO male, and very sweetly offered to help me clean up, but, um, no thanks! It is embarrassing enough to be naked in front of the man I love while looking like a wreck, never mind a totally strange man.
Looking back, I see the irony of having 2 male nursing assistants was probably just my luck, and maybe I should have just taken the **** shower!
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  #2  
Unread 03-18-2008, 02:23 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

According to my girls, when the nurse brought me to the room after surgery she said when I woke up that I might be hot, that if I was in pain to show me how to push the PCA button, and that if I felt sick there was some medicine I could have. Then, the minute the nurse left, I opened my eyes and said I'm hot, I hurt and I'm sick to my stomach. (I wondered why they laughed when I said it)
  #3  
Unread 03-18-2008, 02:31 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

Too funny. Both my surgery funnies involve the same person!! July 07 I went in for cold-cone and tubal. When being prepped for surgery the nurse that checked me in was male, his name was AL. I am not prudish so went with the flow but when he informed me I needed to be shaved "down there" as he put it I quickly exclaimed..."Oh taken care of already!" It was kinda weird how he asked about it and my DH was laughing his heinie off when he left. So I told self...self this time ask for no male nurse.

So I checkin...lovely I have a lady nurse and she informs me I need to be shaved...ALL OFF, which is not a problem.... This is what she said. " You have 3 choices here, I can shave you, AL can do it or you can do it yourself" Quicker than a flash I grabbed the trimmer she had and said where do I go.


Oh and then the nurse tech I had in the ward afterward tried to clean me up a little more and said I wasn't bleeding at all. I informed her I am sure I was because I could feel it. Then she exclaimed...."Oh honey now I see it was all up your Buttcrack" Now that just made me feel really good.... right. and the professionalism award goes too....
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  #4  
Unread 03-18-2008, 03:31 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

Can't think of a funny one right now. Only my hellish experience one night, which I will hold off on.

These are funny! LMAO Al!!
  #5  
Unread 03-18-2008, 03:56 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

My DH is retired air force so I had my TVH in the local army hospital which meant most of my nurses were young male GIs. This was the setting for one funny (and embarrassing) situation.
It came time for me to get up to use the bathroom for the first time. My DD was there to help me but when I stood up I realized I didn't have any underwear on to hold my pad in place. DD went to the desk and told them what I needed. A few minutes later a very young, VERY cute GI came in carrying a pair of peri panties. I was sitting on the side of the bed and he came up and knelt down to help me put my panties on. DD could see that I was embarrassed so she started joking about the panties and said "those sure aren't Victoria Secrets". (like THAT helped my embarrassment !) The nurse laughed and said something about my government issued robe being right out of 1976. I told him, "hey, 1976 wasn't that long ago." Then DD thought she'd be smart and said, "That was the year I (DD) was born!" Then the nurse said, "That was TEN years before I was born." All of a sudden DD didn't think it was so funny. About that time I realized my gown and robe were wet and told the nurse to let my DD help with the panties and he could go get me a clean robe. He agreed rather quickly to my relief. A few minutes later a female nurse brought my clean clothes!!! By then my wonderful disposable panties were in place.
  #6  
Unread 03-18-2008, 04:09 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

After the cathete was removed the day after surgery, I made several trips on my own to the bathroom in my room to piddle. Later that afternoon, the nurse came in with some toiletries and said I could shower. I gathered them up and asked where I could find the shower. She looked at me a little funny and said "In your bathroom, next to the toilet". Shows how observant I was!!
  #7  
Unread 03-18-2008, 04:47 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

My night nurse was Jean - my day nurse was Kelley - although I was doped out of my mind after surgery - as soon as I could talk I told them - that makes them Jean(Gene) Kelly.
  #8  
Unread 03-18-2008, 05:58 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

I stayed on the maternity floor. The morning after surgery, a lady from registration came in to my room. She was asking me if I had named the baby yet and whether he was in the nursery or not. I was too stunned to talk so I just stared at her for the longest time. My DH broke the silence by saying "I hope thats not what they took out yesterday - she was supposed to have a hysterectomy". The lady was soooo embarrassed, she told us she had meant to go to the room next door. Ooooopppsss!!
  #9  
Unread 03-18-2008, 06:28 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

Had this really bossy pct who thought she was trying to be helpful. First thing:

she told me to answer the phone that was ringing, when I finally figured out what and wear the phone was picked up and answered it she stuck the thermometer in my mouth at the same time.

later that day she tried to help me shower....little tiny rooms, feel crappy and between her girth, mostly and mine we got jammed in. /She almost crushed me!!!!!! I am traumatized.
  #10  
Unread 03-18-2008, 06:37 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

"and between her girth, mostly and mine we got jammed in. /She almost crushed me!!!!!! I am traumatized."

STOP IT I am laughing and it hurts my belly when I laugh!!!
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