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Share a funny story from your hospitalization! Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

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  #51  
Unread 04-01-2008, 01:39 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

OK Pansypen. You win the funny story. I've had 12 surgeries in 30 months and have a few more to tell. Bit I don't want everyone "teeteeing" their pants too much today. Jan
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  #52  
Unread 04-01-2008, 05:55 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

In pre-op a young medical student came in and asked me, "What will you be having done today?"

I replied, very straight-faced, "I'm here to have my 30 pound uterus removed."

He looked at me, and said, "I'll go get my stuff and be right back" and hurried around the corner.

Five minutes later he returned with an index card. "Mrs. G., your uterus is only ...." and he rattled off the statistics in centimeters.

I had to confess, I was kidding about the 30 pound uterus.

But the best was back in my room...

Nurse: "Mrs. G. you can have real food once you pass gas."

Me: "Okay could you go get me a plastic bag and some duct tape because I want to take a nap now and I would hate to miss it if I passed gas and had no proof of it while I am sleeping. I really want some good food."

Nurse: no response at all... until I started to laugh.....
  #53  
Unread 04-01-2008, 06:06 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

  Quote:
Originally Posted by wlg55
In pre-op a young medical student came in and asked me, "What will you be having done today?"

I replied, very straight-faced, "I'm here to have my 30 pound uterus removed."

He looked at me, and said, "I'll go get my stuff and be right back" and hurried around the corner.

Five minutes later he returned with an index card. "Mrs. G., your uterus is only ...." and he rattled off the statistics in centimeters.

I had to confess, I was kidding about the 30 pound uterus.

But the best was back in my room...

Nurse: "Mrs. G. you can have real food once you pass gas."

Me: "Okay could you go get me a plastic bag and some duct tape because I want to take a nap now and I would hate to miss it if I passed gas and had no proof of it while I am sleeping. I really want some good food."

Nurse: no response at all... until I started to laugh.....
Very Funny! You have a great sense of humor.

You made me smile and since I've been in the absolute pits of depression......that is truly a wonderful thing!
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  #54  
Unread 04-01-2008, 07:42 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

Now that was funny!!!! I love, love, loved it!
I want PROOF that I passed gas. That is original.
  #55  
Unread 04-05-2008, 04:01 AM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

In recovery room after Dr explained that the surgery was much bigger, complex and longer in duration than anticipated.

Me: delirious with morphine - yes but will I still get on the plane?

A few days later after infection and an internal bleed were discovered Dr explains to me (now delirious from high fever) that he is sorry but I will need to stay a few more days in hospital while it is all sorted out and that this might be "boring" for me.

Me: Ok but dont worry about boring - feeling crappy is keeping me pretty busy.
  #56  
Unread 04-05-2008, 05:24 AM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Italydream
In recovery room after Dr explained that the surgery was much bigger, complex and longer in duration than anticipated.

Me: delirious with morphine - yes but will I still get on the plane?

A few days later after infection and an internal bleed were discovered Dr explains to me (now delirious from high fever) that he is sorry but I will need to stay a few more days in hospital while it is all sorted out and that this might be "boring" for me.

Me: Ok but dont worry about boring - feeling crappy is keeping me pretty busy.
Now that made me laugh. I am up early because we received a phone call with some bad news, so thank you for making me smile through it.
  #57  
Unread 04-05-2008, 10:10 PM
wlg55 you're killing me

  Quote:
Originally Posted by wlg55
In pre-op a young medical student came in and asked me, "What will you be having done today?"

I replied, very straight-faced, "I'm here to have my 30 pound uterus removed."

He looked at me, and said, "I'll go get my stuff and be right back" and hurried around the corner.

Five minutes later he returned with an index card. "Mrs. G., your uterus is only ...." and he rattled off the statistics in centimeters.

I had to confess, I was kidding about the 30 pound uterus.

But the best was back in my room...

Nurse: "Mrs. G. you can have real food once you pass gas."

Me: "Okay could you go get me a plastic bag and some duct tape because I want to take a nap now and I would hate to miss it if I passed gas and had no proof of it while I am sleeping. I really want some good food."

Nurse: no response at all... until I started to laugh.....

This is an excellent thread to read pre-op, you have me laughing so hard, I'm crying,
if my husband saw me now, he'd think I lost it for sure
thanks
pt201
  #58  
Unread 04-05-2008, 10:57 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

  Quote:
Originally Posted by tweety47
I remember being on the morphine (first time ever). Fell a sleep at 3:00 a.m. and then woke up and said that was the best sleep ever!!! It was 3:02..haha

Then I thought I will have a cracker..I put the cracker in my mouth and then woke up like 3 hours later and thought what is that in my mouth. It was still the cracker sticking out. I didn't eat it or chew it. I put it in my mouth and then passed out..I thought I hope a nurse didn't come in here and see that.

It was too funny!!!
Oh my gosh! That is hilarious and I can so relate. I am sitting here at almost 1am in the morning laughing my guts out and covering my mouth with my housecoat so I don't wake anyone up.

Hugs and thanks,
Tracy
  #59  
Unread 04-05-2008, 11:02 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

  Quote:
Originally Posted by GritS~Liz
Ladies I am the Clitoris Catheter, I remember yelling "it's my Clitoris" and the nurse said "no honey it's your urethra" Where DH says "Umm I think, I know her anatomy and that is her Clitoris"

And another night he had to do a cath and this Nurse opens the door and Dh is standing by the bed cath in hand, me gown up. She asks " What are you doing?" Dh says "it is time for her cath" Still standing there door wide open she say's " Oh you must be the husband" Like some strange man was wandering the hospital Cathing randsom women!
I'm laughing so hard I'm crying ... yep my hormones are a mess! Thanks for the laugh ... sorry it was at your expense.
  #60  
Unread 04-05-2008, 11:16 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

Thank you, thank you, thank you! This thread was outstanding. It will have to be posted and reposted because we all need to laugh more.

I have to say as many of you have ... I am so glad I read this pre-op because after three other abdominal surgeries I know I would have been in such pain laughing this hard.

Hugs,
Tracy
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