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Share a funny story from your hospitalization! Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

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Unread 04-06-2008, 11:53 AM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

I don't know if anyone here has had a colostomy or iliostomy, but I've had both. When my colostomy stopped working I had an ilisotmy which worked great. the nurse comes into my room and says "the Dr said you can go home as soon as you have a BM." I must have had a puzzled look on my face cause she said a BM is when you poop. I knw that!! but I guess you'd better go to my house and get a few of my things cause I'm gonna be here about 7 months. I lifted my gown and showed her both of my bags. "Unless you meant when I poop in one of these." She looked at my chart and soid "Oops, wrong room." When I got home that day ( and I didn't even have to poop to leave) I went to bed and woke up with my ilisotomy bag filled with air. I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't roll over cause I thought my bag would explode. My hubby came and lifted me out of bed all the while laughing and saying that must have been some fart! And yes it was. When I unclipped it to let the air out I had to spray the bathroom. My hubby yelled out "That didn't work. Now it smells like you pooped on a lemon tree." I felt so loved. LOL That happened a few times over a 7 month period.
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Unread 04-06-2008, 01:32 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

My roomie in the hospital was a woman who was having different issues than me, and she was waiting for her Dr. to come up with a diagnosis for what her test results showed.

She was on an IV drip to try to get her white blood cells back in order (or something like that) and she felt a bit nauseous and gaseous often, and would sort of hiccup/gag from time to time. It was a weird sound she made, but not gross.

So anyway, one night neither of us could sleep and I had taken an oxycontin so I could take a rest from the morphine, and in the middle of the night a male nurse came in to take her vitals. She was talking to him about whatever and then made her weird hiccup/gag noise. The male nurse paused for a second and said "what was that?" Holy crap, I almost snorted in laughter. If my tummy hadn't hurt I'm sure I would have been rolling.

I told her about it later, but she wasn't very amused since it wasn't comfortable when it happened. Man, that oxycontin is good stuff.
Unread 04-14-2008, 12:04 AM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

When I had my TAH, my girlfriends sent a lovely flower arrangement and card. Inside the card were lots of get well wishes as well as words along the lines of " You lucky *****, no more periods to deal with. Think of all the advantages of this operation - save some money (no more pads or tampons) lose some weight (how much does a uterus weigh) and lay around in bed for a couple of weeks. Lots of Love from all us bleeders" The nurses and my GYN thought this was one of the best cards they had seen
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Unread 04-14-2008, 12:22 PM
Funny Story

I don't know if it counts since I didn't end up staying in the hospital, but since it HAPPENED in a hospital, here goes...

I was being prepped for a colonoscopy. Had the gown on. Had the IV in. Was just waiting. I had the gurney's back up as high as it would go and was sitting sort of cross-legged on the gurney with a blanket over my legs. I was waiting. And waiting. And waiting. Inevitably, after the saline of the IV had been pumping into me for a while, I needed to use the bathroom. So I asked the closest nurse (a guy), if it would be okay to go the restroom all hooked up like that. He got a nervous expression on his face and asked if I could walk okay. I assumed that he was worried that I had been given some medication to make me groggy (which I hadn't yet), so I assured him I could walk fine. Still looking nervous, he said he had to check with the head nurse (which seemed wierd).

Fairly quickly he came back with the head nurse to find out if it was okay if I go to the restroom. She said it was fine and I started to get down. As soon as I moved my legs, this expression of total relief crossed his face. It seems that because of how I was sitting, he couldn't see my lower legs and assumed I was a double-amputee and was wondering how I was going to manage getting to and using the bathroom on my own! We all had quite a laugh over that one!
Unread 04-14-2008, 12:52 PM
Another Funny

Most people would consider me twisted for finding humor in this situation...

Back in October 2007 I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. One of the symptoms is a tendency to retain fluids in your chest and/or abdominal cavity. A LOT of fluid. The procedure to eliminate it is fairly straight-foward: numb an area and stick a big needle in to draw out the fluid. They ended up taking 3 liters from my belly and 2 from my chest (the excess fluid had actually collapsed one of my lungs).

Now most people would fail to see the humor in this situation. However, as they were getting ready to start I suddenly remembered the scene in the original Willy Wonka movie where the girl who chewed gum had to be "juiced" after chewing the complete-meal-in-a-stick-of-gum ("it always goes wrong when it comes to the blueberry pie"). I pictured the staff around me as oompa-loompas and burst out laughing. They probably all thought the strain of being told I was going to die in six months (they were wrong about that - ha!) had finally gotten to me. I explained what I was thinking and they joined me in a good laugh.

From that point on, each time I needed the procedure done, I referred to it as going to get juiced.

Wierd what people can find humor in, isn't it?
Unread 04-14-2008, 01:43 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

MGrubbs, I have a confession, I've never seen the movie 'Willy Wonka'.
It sounds like good medicine for you while going through the procedure.
Maybe I oughtaa see it or record it when it is on cable again. I'm so glad you are still here and you have beat the odds. That is wonderful news.
I hope you continue to do well and are completely healed. Keep those Willy Wonka type movies going!
Unread 04-14-2008, 01:50 PM
Oompa Loompas

Pansypen - I've got the movie on DVD. We watched it pretty recently. I couldn't help thinking about the Juicings I had....
Unread 04-14-2008, 01:55 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

My Mom raised our family with humor and we all have slightly scewed sense of humor. When things are going a bit haywire with your hralth I always find some humor in whatevert is happening. I had 12 surgeries in 30 months and have way too many funny stories. Hey! I could write a book about that. LOL I hope things are still going your way, my dear. Jan
Unread 04-14-2008, 10:51 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

To all you wonderful women, thank you for making me laugh everyone one of these stories are so true and well...funny...thank you for giving me the strenght to move forward knowing there is still laughter in everyones soul I am due to go to the castle 04/28 (it's burned in my brain) and I will be back to post my funnies...
Unread 04-14-2008, 11:03 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

Oh one more that that I have read some more I am glad I am pre op.....I would have busted a staple here!!! Love the one that said to be one with the fart (oopps gas!!) love it now my family can deal with my body's rath....(tee hee tee hee) there are three men here!!! OMG!!! Let Momma loose!!!! And to MGrubbs (thank you for being with us you are a beautiful woman to share all with us) love the Oompa Loompas.

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