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Share a funny story from your hospitalization! Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

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Unread 07-29-2008, 12:50 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

I was on Morphine after my surgery and wayyyyyyyyyy out of it right after surgery! They finally put me in my room, I hate Johnnys , I hate the smell of bleach and I hate how rough things felt on me, I kept taking the Johnny off, every time the nurses walked by I was naked as a jay bird, it would be hanging off the arm with the IV dangleing on the floor!! Each and everytime they would put it back on, cover me with the sheet and leave the room, minutes later, naked again, apparently I told the nurse I wouldnt wear the johnny it smells like bleach, she said well tommorow someone can bring you a really nice night gown, well thats all I needed to hear. I called my mother, who by the way lives in Florida , she was leaving the next morning to fly up to Ma, I called her collect about 10 times, I told her she was a aweful mother and that she wanted them to keep putting those johnnys on me, I said why cant you go to the store RIGHT NOW and get me night gowns that are soft , I told her the nurse said that I could have one and I wanted to know why I didnt have one, apparently I called her over and over again collect telling her the sheets were hard, my johnny was bleachy, the pillow stunk etc.... that was 310.00 dollars in collect calls but what was funny was the next day , my mom got off the plane ran to the store and came with BAGS, pillows, sheets, and about 5 night gowns. She was actually running down the hall to my room even the nurses were laughing at her, as soon as she came in I was like what in Gods name did you bring here I dont need that stuff!! If you could have seen her face and the nurse behind her cracking up laughing! After a couple days when i was able to get out out the bed, the nurses all called me the streaker, and kept asking if I was a nudest.. I was sooooooo embarresed I behaved like that on morphine.. I have to admit it was pretty funny tho I had to add I am a red head and my skin is just so sensitive!
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Unread 08-07-2008, 07:49 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

OMG! This is the best thead ever! I'm 10 weeks post op and it still hurt my tummy to laugh this much...

My story isn't as funny as some of the others, but I know I sooo offended my doctor the morning after surgery. I'd had a super rough night, they couldn't get the pain under control, I had an awful nurse, etc. Well, the next morning at shift change my doc came in for his first visit with me. I had so many questions and he had lots to tell me about. At first, I just kept talking over him. He touches my arm and says "I'm talking..." lol It was just like being with my DH. Anyway, he's in the middle of talking (I'm finally listening) and the nurse walks in with the syringe in her hand with my drugs. I started staring at the thing ( I hear that the way my eyes glazed over you'd think I was an addict...) Doc kept talking while she is standing there... Finally, I looked at him and said "Will you get out of her way???" Once I was feeling better I felt bad for the poor guy! But I just didn't care so long as that nurse had my pain meds!!!
Unread 08-07-2008, 08:51 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

OH thank you gals! I have laughed until I cried! This is just what I needed to get me out of my anxiety tonight!
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Unread 08-08-2008, 11:36 AM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

Here's a link for my story. Hope it makes you smile!
Unread 08-12-2008, 06:53 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

O.K. Mine's not great...but here goes.

The 1 day I spent in the hospital...while I was on the morphine, I kept commenting to different nurses about the "ship moving alot" or "ship rocking a bit" or how "I can really feel it today". Evidently, no one in my family really overheard these off-handed comments and the nurses had decided I was just a bit of a freak. As we were getting ready to go home, one of the nurses finally brought it up and me and my DH starting laughing. I had just returned from a 1 week cruise the day before my surgery and was still experiencing a little land-sickness while in the hospital....probably enhanced by the anesthesia, drugs, and laying down. Many of my comments to them had centered around me still feeling like I was on the ship....and the nurses agreed that now that they knew.....I was much less freak and the comments finally made some sense.

Oh well....If you've got to wait for a hysterectomy...a week at sea ain't a bad way to do it....just watch out for the land-sickness.

Unread 08-12-2008, 07:15 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

Humor is so healing!

I was so nervous before my surgery that while I was checking into the hospital, I told everyone and anyone who would listen how nervous I was. As a result, they gave me some medication to help me relax before they wheeled me into the operating room. By the time the nurse got me to the operating room, I was feeling pretty good.. The first thing I see is a "man" introducing me to everyone in the operating room. Well, the "man" looked like a martian (he was all covered up in green) and I told him that I was not having any martians operate on me. Needless to say, that "martian" was my doctor and everyone in the operating room got a good laugh out of that comment.
Unread 08-12-2008, 07:31 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

the nurses who took care of me called the disposable panties "victoria secrets." i stole a pair for my friend. she laughed for an hour.
Unread 08-16-2008, 11:22 PM
Hospital funnies

This is a great thread! And yes, it is so good to laugh!
Around 5 or 6 hours after my surgery, my family had gone home and my girlfriend was visiting me. They had brought my *dinner* which consisted of broth, apple juice, a semi-frozen popsicle, etc. It was still difficult for me to sit up, so my friend suggested I use a straw for my broth (which I found out later is NOT suggested cuz of the gas it can cause.) I took a sip of it through the straw, then sat the bowl back down on the tray. My friend went to the bathroom, and while she was in there she hears me say "Oh no!!" She gets worried and asks me if I'm okay, and I tell her I'll tell you what happened when you get out here... Then I told her... I picked up the bowl to take another sip from the straw and the bowl was empty! I knew I hadn't had it all, so I'm trying to figure it out. Then I felt my tray and it was SOAKED....apparently leaving the straw in the bowl was NOT a good idea. A siphon had been created causing ALL the broth to flow out onto the tray since the straw was the kind with a 90 degree bend in it!!!! It hurt so much to laugh, but that was SO funny!!! We were both laughing!! So, Lisa calls the kitchen for me to order another broth. Was told it would take about 45 mins, but an hour later, still no broth. My nurse comes in to check on me, told her my broth story, and SHE calls the kitchen for another bowl of broth. 5 mins later, my first re-order of broth comes and it's 2 bowls and 2 popsicles! I had the girl take one of each back. Then about 40 mins after that, I got ANOTHER BOWL of broth and one more popsicle!!! So, that's my funny story from the hospital.

Patti (47) daVinci hyst on Aug 6th
Unread 08-18-2008, 09:21 PM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

I am cracking up thank you !!!

Here is mine - I am at the eve of day 4, DR will not let me go until I pass the awful gas. I want to go home.

I did everything I can, took a hot shower, squated in funny positions and finally when I was in the restroom with the door closed mind you, I was finally at the point to where I was going to get some relief so no holding back. YIPPEEE I was going home for that was a good one. When I stepped out of the bathroom the nurse had just come in the moment before to check up on me, not just a nurse, a male nurse and not just a male nurse a very good looking nurse. (mind you married for almost 15 years and never did that in front of DH)

I must have turned bright red - he looked at me and said "Never mind I have the answer to my question", turned around and left the room. When he came back later to give me my meds he knocked on the door.

It gets better a very good friend of mine came by about 2 weeks post op and guess who her new bo was - yup the nurse!

What else can you do but laugh - which of course hurt.
Unread 08-22-2008, 08:29 AM
Share a funny story from your hospitalization!

Wow so many funny stories around the Great Farting!

Well, mine's no different, lol

It was about 2:15 am and I was having some pretty bad pain, had to pee, and was really NOT looking forward to getting up.
Thank gods my CNA was a sturdy soul, she helped me get up, and to the bathroom, and then ran and got my (gorgeous, male) nurse. He came with some pain meds and Toradol, the two of them managed to get me back into bed, when the reason for the pain reared it's head, and the Great Farting happened!

To their credit as I apologised and blushed, all they did was stand back and....applauded!

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