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Everything was going so well, and now some bad news :( Everything was going so well, and now some bad news :(

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  #1  
Unread 03-24-2008, 11:16 PM
Everything was going so well, and now some bad news :(

Well, I went in last week for my first incision check with the nurse at my doc's office. EVerything was doing great, even better than expected. I have been feeling pretty good too.

The last couple days I have been feeling a burning sensation around the incision and also seems more swollen than it has been. I didn't really worry about it too much. Today was my first physical therapy appointment, and all went well, until she looked at my insicion. Apparently I have developed an infection. She called my doctor and told me that I needed to go over there right after our appt. and have her take a look at it. So they fit me into the schedule and I go to the doc's office. My doc tells me that it is infected, prescribes me an oral antibiotic and a topical antibiotic. She says that I need to wear gauze on it now, and that I have to come back in 7 days to make sure that it's doing ok, or sooner if it gets worse. SOOO, here I am feeling pretty disappointed. I was so happy that everything was going so well. My husband was applying the medication and gauze for me, and I just started bawling. I feel so humiliated and dehumanized lately. I know that he is my husband, and the other people around love me alot too. However, I am just tired of having people have to do everything for me, and see parts of me that they shouldn't ever see. It is definitely an aspect that I didn't want my DH to see. I know that most of us want our husband's to see us as attractive and sexy. Now, he is applying antibiotics and bandages and my binder, and checking my incision for me. I just feel disgusting....and like half a person. I know that it's my pride talking. I know that I should feel grateful to have so many people here that love me, but I just want to feel normal again, and not have people inspecting my body like I'm a science experiment. I'm sorry about whining and complaining, I really just need to vent. I know that many others have it way worse than me. I just can't help feeling so tired of all of this. Thanks for listening.
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  #2  
Unread 03-24-2008, 11:26 PM
Everything was going so well, and now some bad news :(

Oh, Lolee8!

I'm so sorry you're having this setback. Sometimes during the recovery period, it's hard to keep on top of things during your care. Yes, you are very lucky to have a husband who is so loving and kind in helping you out with your infection. Believe me, during the first couple of weeks, taking care of my incision was difficult - every night, my DH would check it to make sure it was clean and dry after my showers, would pat it dry for me, and put gauze on it. It made me feel inept and totally unattractive, but he insisted that it was no bother for him, and it didn't make him think of me any differently.

For better or worse, your DH is there for you. This, too, shall pass. Hang in there, and here's some well wishes for a more smoother recovery!
  #3  
Unread 03-24-2008, 11:28 PM
Everything was going so well, and now some bad news :(

Sorry to hear about your infection... I've been very blessed (knock on wood) that I've not had any problems like that with this surgery. However I will tell you that I had gastric bypass surgery 4 years ago and my husband had to actually empty out my drains... I felt horrible for that but he really did not complain at all, and I knew it had to be done. Much though I can't stand the man now (we are exes for a reason of course...), but I will give him credit that he did it without every saying a negative thing about it.

I'm sure your DH can feel how terrible you are feeling, and maybe this will even make your relationship stronger. They always say men are "fixers", and this is the greatest way he can help "fix" you. It may sound crazy, but most men do like being the big, strong, caretaker. Let him be that hero for you... you really need and deserve it.
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  #4  
Unread 03-24-2008, 11:30 PM
Everything was going so well, and now some bad news :(

I know just where you are coming from. Once of the incisions that I had to repair the anal sphinter had to be left open for healing purposes. It drains this awful draining. In fact it is such a deep wound thet it too resident along with teh GYN oncologist just to identify where the perineum is. Anyhow my point being.....my poor DH has had to pack and unpack andclean that would about every two hours since I got out of the hospital It is very humiliating and I just hid under the covers while we do it. We've been married almost 25 years you'd think I'd be used to him pocking and proding. But I'm not. I'm unconfortable for me, but especialy for him.
  #5  
Unread 03-25-2008, 05:41 AM
morning girlies!

Lolee8,

sorry your having a setback.....I also went in yesterday and have a little infection, meds will kill it! praying for you sweety!...ya know..if the shoe was one the other foot and you had to take care of your DH...you would do it and think nothing of it....I'm a firm believer of "just do it" cause it has to be done...it will be fine..have faith.....
  #6  
Unread 03-25-2008, 07:29 AM
Everything was going so well, and now some bad news :(

Hugs...sorry you are going through this. Prayers that things get better!!
  #7  
Unread 03-25-2008, 07:35 PM
Everything was going so well, and now some bad news :(

Thanks girls. I appreciate the encouragement. You are right that if it were my DH I would do it with no questions asked. He has reassured me that it isn't a bother to him. My emotions are so whacko right now, I don't know which end is up. Who knows, maybe these emotions are just hormone induced. Thanks for the responses!
  #8  
Unread 03-25-2008, 07:55 PM
Everything was going so well, and now some bad news :(

Oh honey, I can so feel how humiliating it must be for you. But your DH is a keeper - I would hold on to him. Hope you get over this hiccup and are back on the road to recovery. Big hugs and god bless. Sending you warm thoughts.
  #9  
Unread 03-25-2008, 09:24 PM
Everything was going so well, and now some bad news :(

I was doing well too until postop day 7 when I started feeling pain and seeing redness around one of my incisions. I went to the docs, they cultured it and put me on meds. Doc called me on Easter and told me I had Group A Strep. My incision is still draining.

I know how frustrating everything can be. While I don't have many hormone issues right now I can completely understand. I've been an antidepressants so I bet this is helping me out.

Hang in there.
  #10  
Unread 03-26-2008, 05:25 AM
Everything was going so well, and now some bad news :(

I'm so sorry about your infection, wishing you a fast recovery.

I will admit, my DH and I have made a fun thing about checking my incision. I did not want him to be afraid of it, so I got him involved in the early stages.

I could very easily check my own incision, but I had him get a flashlight and take a good look. He was alittle apprehensive at first, but now he instructs me to "get in that bed and take my pants down".

I don't feel offended or shy about these inspections (they happen every day ). I really makes him feel very needed and actually I really like his involvement.

I also let him know that this healing thing could last up to a year. His response was: Don't think your going to get out of these "incision inspections" that soon.

So all and all, try and look at this type of caring from your DH in a different way, it sure works for me.

Have a great one.
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