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alot of questions from an ignorant 26yr old.plese help... alot of questions from an ignorant 26yr old.plese help...

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  #1  
Unread 03-31-2008, 02:59 AM
alot of questions from an ignorant 26yr old.plese help...

At 26, I knew of 2 reasons why I would have a hysterectomy...I either would wait and it would be "time", or I would end up with cancerlike the other family members. Well, neither happened. I was in alot of pain for a long time, and started bleeding and bled for 8 weeks. premeran, a high dosed slowed it when I got anemic. After many other problems in the past, we decided this was best. They took my uterus and left my cervix and ovaries. Now I have a few questions...

1- Whay am I so angry all thre time? I have yelled at everyone who has tried to help and almost ended my marriage when he is just trying to be careful of me and help. Then I get scared when I pull and hurt or pull a stitch and have a panic attack, take my ativan and go to sleep. Then I wake up and it starts all over.

2-How long will I hurt and be tired? I felt like super woman for 2 days and did so much I wasn't supposed to I had to go to the er and let them check for hernias? Now I am tired and can't sleep. I almost feel depressed and just want to lay in bed all day.

3-What is sex going to be like? I have had 3 HUGE babies, so I know that sex changes with different things. Isn't your uterus what contracts when you have an orgasm? Does that mean no more orgasams?

4- I never waited 6 weeks after my children to have sex. Do I need to this time?

I hope some of you laugh at this and have had to answer these questions before, I can't be the only 26 yr old that has had a hysterectomy right?...right?.....
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  #2  
Unread 03-31-2008, 04:05 AM
alot of questions from an ignorant 26yr old.plese help...

HI Mountain Dew,

OKay sit down a take a deep breath! Now firstly it's not even been a week since your hyster and like many of us our hormones all become out of whack even with ovaries left. Secondly I would suggest you read the checkpoints which can be found at the top left hand corner of the page. In these you'll find a guide as to what you can expect and any restrictions you should be following, although I'm sure your doctor advised you.

Recovery and tiredness is different for everyone but you really only have one chance to heal and if you're doing things you shoudln't you aren't giving your body that chance. Your body has gone through much trauma with this surgery and really need you to rest and relax for it to recover.

As far as sex afterwards everyone has varying opinions but for me I have no regrets and have enjoyed a renewed intimacy as I have no pain or bleeding. Things are a little different but also better in many ways.

Now as far as waiting 6 weeks before having sex the answer would be .........YES!!! In fact it really is a must for you to follow all instructions given by your doctor. You have one chance to heal properly and you don't want to risk any complications.

I wish you a quick and speedy recovery.........Karen
  #3  
Unread 03-31-2008, 04:51 AM
alot of questions from an ignorant 26yr old.plese help...

Mountain Dew... relax girlfriend.

LSH in January. Had a complete emotional meltdown the first week. If you feel like crying, go ahead and get it out of your system, I found it helpful.

Fortunately, my kids are all teens and are in the low maintenance phase and were quite helpful. DH was great. He paid me back for a lot of my efforts over the years. I deserved it, believe me.

The angst feeling comes and goes with the cycle. PMS is still a reality cause you have your ovaries. I've been supplementing with flaxseed oil and evening primrose oil to help out.

Take it slow and easy, listen to your doctor and your body. Around the 3-4 week mark you will notice a difference if you don't overdo now or have complications from over doing it...

Sex is great. Since we have the cervix intact, everything fits the way it did before. Without the big old tumor filled baby bag, there is less pressure and discomfort and, of course, no blood to make the manly man squeamish. Imagine it, no more planning around Aunt Flo.

I hope you start to feel more yourself soon. Please let others help you out. It makes them feel good.
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  #4  
Unread 03-31-2008, 05:50 AM
alot of questions from an ignorant 26yr old.plese help...

So much of your post could have been written by me right after my TAH. Talk about temper! I was terrible. The slightest thing could set me off for no good reason at all, and my poor husband, who was a saint through my whole ordeal, got the brunt of it. I was extremely emotional in other ways too, going through so many changes in an hour that I felt like I'd climbed aboard some unknown mental rollercoaster and wasn't strapped in. I became more and more in control of myself every day and now, nearly 6 months out, I'm back at pre-TAH emotional levels.

As for waiting 6 weeks to have sex I think that's a very good idea. You've been through a lot down there! Speaking from personal experience, the first time my husband and I were intimate after my operation it was a slow, careful process, but when we finally made love it was spectacular. Honestly, we felt so deeply connected emotionally when we were done because we had to explore my new body together that it was wonderful. The actual act itself was extremely satisfying, better than it had been for a long time because I wasn't in pain any longer. If you read responses on this board you'll find that this is a very common experience.

I too went through the Wonder Woman days where I overdid, but I quickly gave in to nature and restricted my activities as instructed. After that my healing went very quickly.

You're not ignorant. You're just filled with some very normal, understandable anxiety because you've been through a big life change. Just give yourself time to heal properly and don't expect so much of yourself. After all, you are an official Princess now.
  #5  
Unread 03-31-2008, 11:49 AM
alot of questions from an ignorant 26yr old.plese help...

Hi I am 33, mother to 4 boys and 2 1/2 weeks post op froma TVH.

  Quote:
1- Why am I so angry all the time?
It could be hormonal I am 2 1/2 weeks post op from TVH and the first week and a half was unbelievable psychotic b mode...yeah...hehe...my bf left me on day 9 too! I had my Uterus and Cervix removed so my ovaries were still there I had no clue that could happen pre-op...but its totally normal in its abnormal way...I was so bad I was ready to sign myself in the looney bin...

  Quote:
2-How long will I hurt and be tired?
That seems to come and go...its much better now for me personally and I have to remind myself not to lift and pull bc I was driving by like day 3 bc no body gave me restrictions of any kind...so I really was clueless...I found this site after my hysterectomy when everything was going to crap...whew its helped me alot! The pain is now mostly just like cramping for me. Of course I am trying my best to take it easy...even though I have probably over did it some already...

  Quote:
3-What is sex going to be like?
That also varies but, dont worry your Uterus does not control the orgasms...

  Quote:
4- I never waited 6 weeks after my children to have sex. Do I need to this time?
YES...But, outerplay seems to be ok for some

Btw I did get a laugh hehe
  #6  
Unread 03-31-2008, 12:00 PM
alot of questions from an ignorant 26yr old.plese help...

  Quote:
Originally Posted by mountain dew
At 26, I knew of 2 reasons why I would have a hysterectomy...I either would wait and it would be "time", or I would end up with cancerlike the other family members. Well, neither happened. I was in alot of pain for a long time, and started bleeding and bled for 8 weeks. premeran, a high dosed slowed it when I got anemic. After many other problems in the past, we decided this was best. They took my uterus and left my cervix and ovaries. Now I have a few questions...

1- Whay am I so angry all thre time? I have yelled at everyone who has tried to help and almost ended my marriage when he is just trying to be careful of me and help. Then I get scared when I pull and hurt or pull a stitch and have a panic attack, take my ativan and go to sleep. Then I wake up and it starts all over.

2-How long will I hurt and be tired? I felt like super woman for 2 days and did so much I wasn't supposed to I had to go to the er and let them check for hernias? Now I am tired and can't sleep. I almost feel depressed and just want to lay in bed all day.

3-What is sex going to be like? I have had 3 HUGE babies, so I know that sex changes with different things. Isn't your uterus what contracts when you have an orgasm? Does that mean no more orgasams?

4- I never waited 6 weeks after my children to have sex. Do I need to this time?

I hope some of you laugh at this and have had to answer these questions before, I can't be the only 26 yr old that has had a hysterectomy right?...right?.....
You said three HUGE babies.....how huge...just curious. Mine were 12 lbs. 12 oz., 10 lbs. 12 oz., and 11 lbs. 4 oz. all vaginal, which is why I have had to have reconstructive surgery of the pelvic area along with my TVH.

I've been told that it may be 8-12 weeks for me for the sex thing. (No big deal though, dh and I are separated and it's been awhile anyway.) But for those of you that have trouble waiting the 6 weeks......it could be worse. LOL

Even after my big babies, the sex didn't change and the O's didn't change. Everyone is nervous of the unknown. I'd like to try the sex thing when I heal but have to find someone first. So who knows how long I'll have to wait to test out the new plumbing! They took everything but my ovaries so I'm curious what having the "dead end" is going to feel like to me and my partner. I hope to find out someday. :-)

The emotions I can so relate to. I haven't really gone through the angry stage, yet. Mine is pure, raw, depressive emotion. Hope to have that resolved after the dr. on Wednesday.
  #7  
Unread 03-31-2008, 12:57 PM
alot of questions from an ignorant 26yr old.plese help...

1.) It will be ok; it takes some time to feel better. I still have moments of rage that are completely unexplainable but things get better every day.

2.) I won't lie. It hurts for a while but it is worth it. I was stupid and went back to work at 2 weeks and am suffering for it now so please take my word and take it easy.

3.) Sex is great without the fears. My “o” are better now because there is no evil uterus to cramp afterwards

4.) WAIT. Please please wait. While it is a rare thing, bad things can happen if you push it and you do not want that to happen. Do everything that your doctor tells you because this is the only chance you will get to heal properly.
  #8  
Unread 03-31-2008, 04:56 PM
alot of questions from an ignorant 26yr old.plese help...

Number one, your hormones are all out of whack now. I had my TAH last July and I thought I was going crazy crying for no reason or yelling the next. My doctor drew so lab work and my estrogen levels were low. Now Im on a low dose estrogen patch twice a week. Im so much better now. Have your doctor check your hormones and thyroid levels. You should wait 6 weeks for sex. When you had your children, you still had a uterus. You dont want to rip anything inside or cause scar tissue. And yes, once you have sex, it all still works!! Dont you worry about that!! Do everything your doctor tells you. You dont want to do something that can hurt you in the future.
  #9  
Unread 03-31-2008, 08:33 PM
alot of questions from an ignorant 26yr old.plese help...

Ok Denise S ..you got me...My 1st son was 9#8oz a week early, we took ds2 2 weeks early and was 8#7oz, and dd was 3 weeks early and 8#15oz.
I am so angry, I have told my dh I want a divorce. I am livid..for the littlest reasons. They gave me zanex to try to knock me out so I would stop, but you see...i'm up...this is hell...I feel so emotionally tired. I am so bad at dh, but tonight he went to bed and didn't move our ds out of our bed and all I really want is to go lay beside him with his arms around me. I feel so vulnerable and it sucks. I just want to be strong again. capable....
  #10  
Unread 03-31-2008, 09:11 PM
alot of questions from an ignorant 26yr old.plese help...

  Quote:
Originally Posted by mountain dew
Ok Denise S ..you got me...My 1st son was 9#8oz a week early, we took ds2 2 weeks early and was 8#7oz, and dd was 3 weeks early and 8#15oz.
I am so angry, I have told my dh I want a divorce. I am livid..for the littlest reasons. They gave me zanex to try to knock me out so I would stop, but you see...i'm up...this is hell...I feel so emotionally tired. I am so bad at dh, but tonight he went to bed and didn't move our ds out of our bed and all I really want is to go lay beside him with his arms around me. I feel so vulnerable and it sucks. I just want to be strong again. capable....
I hear ya.....this emotional rollar coaster hurts almost as much as the first week I was home. I haven't gotten to the angry part yet. But the sadness is absolutely debilitating.

As far as the kids; dd who was 12#12 oz. at birth was two weeks late. Gotta love Navy medicine back in 1985. ds who was 10#12oz was a week early. Then ds that was 11#4oz. was the only one born in a civilian hospital was a week late. Oh, well what's done is done. I just can't beleive I suffered with problems for almost 17 years before I finally found a doctor that said I had a legitimate complaint.

Just gotta move on from here........
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