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Premarin vaginal cream, anyone..... Premarin vaginal cream, anyone.....

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  #11  
Unread 04-05-2008, 05:26 PM
Premarin vaginal cream, anyone.....

Denise - I feel for you. I am single again now after 22 yrs of marriage. I'm 46. It is so scary and hard to start over. I don't blame you one bit for wanting to look normal. I know it's a bummer if you have to go through one more operation, but you will make it - I did

So you know I had 2 surgeries, my oringinal hyster on Nov 6th and then another major surgery for complications from the original one on Feb 8th. After my Nov 6 surgery I went back to work around Dec 15th. Then my Feb surgery I was out from the 5th of Feb to last week.

Currently I am cleared for anything as tolerated except sex. I am still in the nothing in the vagina mode. My cuff got very damaged by the abscesses. I'm hoping this time when he checks it it looks great as I was potentially facing a third surgery to repair that. That is why I was using the Estrace to try to heal that. But I feel really good now. I'm still monkeying with hormones. I need to get educated on those as since my Feb surgery was an emergency, I didn't know I was losing my ovaries so I didn't have time to learn about it. I know it's stupid, but I'm still so upset about losing them that I'm not ready to read about it yet. I just have this HUGE fear that now I am really going to age and then I'll be alone forever. I know it's irrational but it's how I feel. I think it's part of the starting over at my age thing. So for now my Dr is helping me adjust the dose until we get it right.

The only other issue I'm having is that for the life of me I cannot gain any weight. I weigh 99 lbs now!!! I just look terrible and the wrinkles on my face have been accentuated by the weight loss. I know most people wouldn't complain about this but honestly it can be as bad as being overweight. I have NO fat left on my butt and sitting is painful. I lost the majority of my weight in Nov, so I feel like I should have gained at least some of it back by now. I know I have been through alot but this is ridiculous. My Dr said it might take a year to gain it back. When I see him next week I'm really going to push him to check my thyroid. He didn't think it was neccessary last time but I think I need it for peace of mind!! It's getting hot where I live and NONE of my clothes fit. I don't want to go buy new ones. I want to gain weight so my old ones fit. And frankly after this unexpected huge surgery my medical bills have almost broke me!

Ok - so wow who knew I had so many complaints inside me today

Are you getting around any better now?

Starbgirl
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  #12  
Unread 04-05-2008, 05:48 PM
Premarin vaginal cream, anyone.....

I am so very sorry for all of your troubles. You've really been through the ringer. We will be married in June for 23 years. But like I said we're separated. I really don't know what is going to happen at this point. I've been with him since I was 18 years old. I don't know what life is without him, good or bad. Honestly, I think he would stay together forever but it's me. I'm getting younger with age, he's getting older. I just don't want to go in that direction. I'm 43, he's 46. Anyhow....right now I'm just taking it day by day.

Luckily my dh is active duty Navy so all of my medical bills are taken care of. So we don't have to worry about that. I've been given 12 weeks off of work. My job is protected by FMLA for that 12 weeks. If it goes beyond that......by law they don't have to save a job for me. But I'm thinking they probably will. Honestly, I don't care. I can always get another job. This is the only time I'm going to be able to get this right. I absolutely love my doctor and with the way the military goes, there is no gaurantee that she is going to be here four years from now if I wait. I don't want anyone else to do this so I'll take as long as I have to.

When I look back at week 1 & 2...I am definiately better since then. But I still have a very long way to go. I only went to Target and Michaels today, gone for about 1.5 hours and I had to go straight to bed when I came home.

I'm seeing my dr. weekly, usually on Wednesdays. I feel that I am getting excellent care.

I am the opposite side of the weight loss spectrum. I started loosing weight last October. To date I've lost about 40 pounds. I have about 60 more to go. I feel that if I can get through this recovery without gaining I'm doing well. So far, I'm still losing 1-2 pounds a week, not even trying. I just don't have an appetite yet.

Have you tried any protein shakes or something like that? How about Ensure or Boost? My 20 year old son has always been underweight and he's been drinking Ensure since he was a little kid. Now he switched to Boost and he's been bulking up since he got out of boot camp. Just a thought. Just make sure your extra calories are healthy calories and not empty calories. It can only benefit you.

Keep in touch as your recovery progresses and I'll do the same.

Blessings,
  #13  
Unread 04-05-2008, 11:14 PM
Premarin vaginal cream, anyone.....

I feel for all of you so much. Denise and Starbgirl, you had such traumatic experiences with the surgeries....my goodness, you should be very proud of yourselves for being so strong!!! This is not an easy thing to go through.

I know certain hormones are not for everyone, I just wanted you to know that YOU DO have other choices.

My surgeon is also a specialist and very reputable - 20 years experience, uses the DaVinci Robot, travels the world, doing lectures, yet so many things he says about hormones make no sense to me and I can't help but think he is a little arrogant. He is big on Lupron and Premarin. Another specialist I saw before him proclaimed that bio-identicals would quote, "KILL ME" and that my family doctor, who is wonderful and the only one who ever made me feel better in 23 years, was a "quack". They refuse to even learn about these other options for us.

If I kept my ovaries, he wanted me on Lupron to kill the estrogen, but now that I agreed to have them out, he wants me on Premarin...so which is it? Why kill my hormones and then replace them? One friend of mine who went to him, got Fibromyalgia after 6 mos on Lupron, yet he thinks she should do another year of it....I began to think, is he really thinking of his patients or himself?

He told me that I had Adenomyosis, and taking my uterus was the only cure, yet pathology found none. I would have had my uterus out anyway, because I was just so sick of the bleeding, but he was wrong on that information. I think listening to my body is more important than listening to him because HE does not feel what I am feeling. He is not the one who must face the consequences of taking these drugs.

Life does not have to be lonely, just because you don't have a man...there are beautiful things in life to enjoy, fun things to do, interesting, fun friends you can make...I am beginning to enjoy painting again, going for long walks during sunset, I even got up the guts to do karaoke with a friend one night! I probably sounded like crap, but I did not care. I have a boyfriend, but have never been married, no children and was single for many years, before meeting my current squeeze. I know I would be fine even without him though.

You can do things that make you feel young and neither one of you are old at all! Don't you dare think that! This is our second chance at life. Worrying makes you feel older, so try not to worry, eat Ben n Jerry's if you want to gain weight (that is my vice, gotta try every flavor!), spoil yourselves, give yourself a facial, watch funny movies...I hope the future brings you new found happiness and that we can all leave this surgery and all it's bad memories/hard times behind us.
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  #14  
Unread 04-06-2008, 07:49 AM
Premarin vaginal cream, anyone.....

  Quote:
Originally Posted by goghfish89
I feel for all of you so much. Denise and Starbgirl, you had such traumatic experiences with the surgeries....my goodness, you should be very proud of yourselves for being so strong!!! This is not an easy thing to go through.

I know certain hormones are not for everyone, I just wanted you to know that YOU DO have other choices.

My surgeon is also a specialist and very reputable - 20 years experience, uses the DaVinci Robot, travels the world, doing lectures, yet so many things he says about hormones make no sense to me and I can't help but think he is a little arrogant. He is big on Lupron and Premarin. Another specialist I saw before him proclaimed that bio-identicals would quote, "KILL ME" and that my family doctor, who is wonderful and the only one who ever made me feel better in 23 years, was a "quack". They refuse to even learn about these other options for us.

If I kept my ovaries, he wanted me on Lupron to kill the estrogen, but now that I agreed to have them out, he wants me on Premarin...so which is it? Why kill my hormones and then replace them? One friend of mine who went to him, got Fibromyalgia after 6 mos on Lupron, yet he thinks she should do another year of it....I began to think, is he really thinking of his patients or himself?

He told me that I had Adenomyosis, and taking my uterus was the only cure, yet pathology found none. I would have had my uterus out anyway, because I was just so sick of the bleeding, but he was wrong on that information. I think listening to my body is more important than listening to him because HE does not feel what I am feeling. He is not the one who must face the consequences of taking these drugs.

Life does not have to be lonely, just because you don't have a man...there are beautiful things in life to enjoy, fun things to do, interesting, fun friends you can make...I am beginning to enjoy painting again, going for long walks during sunset, I even got up the guts to do karaoke with a friend one night! I probably sounded like crap, but I did not care. I have a boyfriend, but have never been married, no children and was single for many years, before meeting my current squeeze. I know I would be fine even without him though.

You can do things that make you feel young and neither one of you are old at all! Don't you dare think that! This is our second chance at life. Worrying makes you feel older, so try not to worry, eat Ben n Jerry's if you want to gain weight (that is my vice, gotta try every flavor!), spoil yourselves, give yourself a facial, watch funny movies...I hope the future brings you new found happiness and that we can all leave this surgery and all it's bad memories/hard times behind us.
What wonderful encouraging words. Thank you very much. Right now, I'm taking it day by day. That's the best I can do. That's all of us can really do right now.

Have a Blessed Day
  #15  
Unread 04-06-2008, 06:54 PM
Premarin vaginal cream, anyone.....

goghfish - Thanks for the very kind words. I do need to get educated on the bio-identicals. Everyone around here says they are the way to go. I just need a few more moments to grieve the loss of my ovaries, then I'll get to it. It's like reading the book right now makes it seem too real even though I know it is. I guess I just want to bury my head in the sand for a little longer The good news though, is that at least what my Dr switched me to the week before last has started working!! I have slept the last 4 nights in a row!! I haven't slept really since my surgery so it felt sooooo good!! And as far as Ben & Jerry's goes - let's just say were BFF. Currently I am working my way through Peanut Butter Cup, Chunky Monkey & Mint Chocolate Cookie!! Plus I just finshed off two quarts of Starbucks Java Chip. I am so lactose intolerant so while it is yummy and I love it, it kinda kills me and so far it hasn't worked on my weight but it sure tastes good!!

And Denise - I was doing the muscle milks between meals as they have 20 grams of protien in each, but they make me SO full that then it's hard to eat meals. Then the last 2 weeks I switched to junk food ot of desperation hence the ice cream. It didn't work either. So today I told my BFF that I am just going to start working out with a trainer again 3X a week & going back to the healthier food I enjoy. I start tomorrow. I've also slowly started running again. I am running now about a mile of my 2 mile walk. Well slow jogging to be honest I have always been athletic and I feel like everything I do now to get my life back as it was can just help me.

And to both ladies - I sure wish I shared your optimism for the future as a single woman. Truthfully, I was the one who left my DH. My marriage was abusive and it took me so many years to get up my courage to leave. I am so glad that I did and I'm proud of myself for not going back because that would be so easy. BUT I am lonely. I don't like being single at all. and I just know I would be happier in a relationship. I sure hope 2008 is my year I actually had my hyster as part of my plan to rebuild my life!! Sheesh - who knew what the future held!!!!

Hugs to you both....

Starbgirl
  #16  
Unread 04-06-2008, 07:12 PM
Premarin vaginal cream, anyone.....

I hear you Starbgirl! I am miserable in my marriage. But I don't know how to leave or end it. It's all I have known since I was 19 years old. He's not abusive, physically. Emotionally we torture each other. I still have the 17 yo at home, plus my dd in college who still depends on us financially. My husband would have been happy to cut them all of once they hit the age of 18. But I think as long as they are in school, it's my job to take care of them 'til they graduate. He is very emotionally detached from me and the kids. But I forfeited my education to marry young and have kids young and stay home with them. Now at 43, I am realizing all of my mistakes and am finding it nearly impossible to fix it.

I started working on myself last year. First with the pursuit of finding a gyn that would truly take care of me. Then in October by losing weight, working out, etc. I changed my hair (long and straight vs. short, matronly, and curly), started dressing better, got a job, and taking pride in my appearance. No more Shlumpadinka for me! This hyster was just part of the process. The end of May I'm supposed to be getting 8 dental implants at a cost of around $15,000!!!! But now I'm not so sure.....it's just another debt that will keep me HAVING to work and out of the classroom. Hopefully, in the fall I'm going to get the heal spurs in my feet fixed so I can walk and workout without pain. So I'm a work in progress. The biggest thing is I don't know how to get out of my marriage. My dh leaves next year for Bahrain for two years so maybe during that time I'll figure it all out. Wow....rambling.......

Tomorrow is another day, then Tuesday, then back to the dr. on Wednesday........maybe we'll have a perineum sighting! That is my goal of the moment....to have a perineum again! LOL
  #17  
Unread 04-06-2008, 09:15 PM
Premarin vaginal cream, anyone.....

Shlumpadinka!!! I love that word

Denise - It takes time to figure things out. It took me forever and on my bad days I still want to go running back. Even thought the past was bad, it sometimes seems less scary than the unknown. I have 2 kids also, 10 & 13. It is hard with younger kids so the good thing is yours are older and whatever you decide they will likely do ok. I know the separations must be so hard. 2 years is a long time for your hubby to be away. Do you think that has contributed?

What would you like to go to school for? I am lucky in that while I did not go to college, I have always worked. You can probably figure out where I work by my user name I have a corporate job with them that I just love. I have worked there for 13 years. When I got single, I didn't have the financial worries some women do as I make a decent living so I was lucky there. But this surgery sure hurt- $$$ - ouch!!!

OK - so here's to the perinium sighting!!!! I'll be thinking of you.

BTW - where do you live? I live in Arizona.

Starbgirl
  #18  
Unread 04-06-2008, 09:23 PM
Premarin vaginal cream, anyone.....

  Quote:
Originally Posted by starbgirl
Shlumpadinka!!! I love that word

Denise - It takes time to figure things out. It took me forever and on my bad days I still want to go running back. Even thought the past was bad, it sometimes seems less scary than the unknown. I have 2 kids also, 10 & 13. It is hard with younger kids so the good thing is yours are older and whatever you decide they will likely do ok. I know the separations must be so hard. 2 years is a long time for your hubby to be away. Do you think that has contributed?

What would you like to go to school for? I am lucky in that while I did not go to college, I have always worked. You can probably figure out where I work by my user name I have a corporate job with them that I just love. I have worked there for 13 years. When I got single, I didn't have the financial worries some women do as I make a decent living so I was lucky there. But this surgery sure hurt- $$$ - ouch!!!

OK - so here's to the perinium sighting!!!! I'll be thinking of you.

BTW - where do you live? I live in Arizona.

Starbgirl
No the separations actually help. Two years will be the longest. He could just go to a ship and then it would be six months gone 12 months here, well that's the typical deployment schedule. But he's tired of being on ships and wants to keep his feel dry and that means an overseas tour. I refuse to uproot and move anymore. I have no desire to live oversears so he is taking an unaccomanpied tour in Bahrain. It brings in big bucks and our life remains the same. He does his same job just in a different country. He's been on shore duty for about two years now and all we do is fight. We can't even stand to be in the same room together and it's obvious to everyone.

I have a decent job but nothing that would come close to keeping me and the kids in our current lifestyle. Plus, I have my mom to care for. It's just another one of those day by day things. My mom says, "when you meet someone new, then you'll be motivated to leave and everything will just fall into place." Honestly, I'm 43 and I don't see ever meeting anyone. I don't socialize at all. It's work and home. That's about it. Plus, I mostly work at home so unless Prince Charming comes knocking on my front door.....I'm screwed! LOL

I live in Virginia Beach, VA.
  #19  
Unread 04-06-2008, 09:26 PM
Premarin vaginal cream, anyone.....

OMG! I want your job, Starbgirl! I have probably spent more $$ over the years on Starbucks drinks than the cost of this stupid surgery!

Denise, there really never IS a good time to end a relationship that you are unhappy in...you just have to do it. Once you do, you think, "Oh my God, why did'nt I do this sooner?!" You still have so much of your life ahead of you. You are in my prayers for your next doc visit.
  #20  
Unread 04-06-2008, 11:07 PM
Premarin vaginal cream, anyone.....

Yah goghfish - all my friends want my job While it is big business and I do work hard, I truly do get paid to sit around and drink coffee!! As they say, someone's got to do it!! Hee Hee!!!!!

Starbgirl
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