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Hubby support? Hubby support?

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Unread 04-08-2008, 09:47 PM
Hubby support?

My hubby has been a little Martha Stuart doing the cooking, laundry, shopping ect. he has been enjoying it but I'm at 4 weeks now and I think it's wearing off! lol! I just started driving yesterday and realized I could'nt go very far before I had to go home (I also had a full tummy tuck). I was so tired after being out for just an hour, I came home and fell asleep on my trusty recliner. About your hubby, a lot of men just can't relate to a hysterectomy or how it feels, how you feel, ect. Stick to your guns and baby yourself! He should be helping you---you had major surgery. You are NOT acting like a baby at all!
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Unread 04-09-2008, 03:34 AM
Hubby support?

My DH had trouble the first couple of days I was home. My recovery had been extended in hospital and I was very very ill so he held in lots of tension. I was too sick to be in full control of my tone of voice, exactly what I said and I was pretty grumpy compared to how I usually am and he got really upset and told me I had to be "calm" so he could be "calm". I just lost it and said that I moderate everything to keep him calm and happy usually but after major surgery and estrogen deprivation his request was denied! I told him it was time he held it together and was a bit tolerant of me for a change and that if he did so, we would all get through this but he shouldn't expect too much from me in the first couple of weeks. He seems to have got the message (thank God) and has been much better since. He was also leaving too much to my DD but I put on my tiara and commanded his services and that seemed to lighten things up for my daughter and all of us. Don't baby yourself - my advice - expect to be treated like the princess you are. Only 1 chance to recover well and no sense caving in and slowing it all down as the other sisters have said. Hang in there. All things pass.
Unread 04-09-2008, 07:22 AM
Hubby support?

How strange it is to hear that others have same problems and I am not alone. My DH does take care of everything, however, he calls it "his chores". And maybe it is me, but he is always stating that "he takes care of EVERYYTHING" here. And now being post-op, I feel like Im not doing my part. "What's wrong" he asks then tells me about his ailments from the day at work. He gets cut, bruised, scraped, something to his self everyother day or so. I tell him to be more careful with his self. lol.
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Unread 04-09-2008, 08:01 AM
Hubby support?

I am definitely one of the fortunate ones, as my DH is completely and totally supportive and does not expect anything of me. He is a caretaker at heart and would do anything to ensure I am safe and sound. We joke with him that he really is a woman and just doesn't know it. LOL!

However, I have been married twice before and the previous posts are my ex's all over again. I actually caught my breath when I read the posts. I remember the lack of support, the mutterings behind your back that they either don't think you hear or hope you hear, but pretend they didn't mean it that way. They expected me to take care of the house, the kids, the primary breadwinner, you name it. No emotional support, mostly because I don't think they understood their own emotions one iota. I remember going through major surgeries alone and having to arrange rides with friends, then take care of everything myself when I got home (including the house and the kids). They had no thought of the fact that I needed recovery time, and if they were that generous, a few days was more than plenty in their view.

I have been there and I know what it was like. And my heart goes out to you. Lack of support from the person who is supposed to be your best friend and greatest supporter is a difficult thing.

Do make sure you take care of yourself first. The rest can wait. Get healthy and get strong. The husband and kids can fend for themselves for a while, it's a good life lesson if nothing else.
Unread 04-09-2008, 05:24 PM
Hubby support?

If I had a husband who didn't support me through a major surgery, I'd get better, then get rid of him!
Unread 04-09-2008, 05:31 PM
Hubby support?

believe me that thought had crossed my mind! lol
Is that the hormones thinking?
Unread 04-09-2008, 06:22 PM
Hubby support?

No, it's common sense thinking!
Unread 04-09-2008, 06:45 PM
Hubby support?

Wow, I am soo sorry that so many DHs are not holding up there end of the bargain. What ever happened to marriage vows of for better or for worse?? I am soooo lucky to have a wonderful hubby that took care of me for 6 weeks. He even worked full time and then came home and did house work, he didn't even make me feel bad about sitting on the couch all day. I did try to do something everyday, but if I was having a bad day, he didn't seem to mind. I really didn't have too many emotional days though (fingers crossed)for which I am grateful so I wouldn't have to take it out on my DH. I hope you all will find comfort in knowing you all will be up and about soon enough, so please take care of yourselves. Like everyone has been saying, you only have one chance to heal. Have a great evening.

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