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Can't Stand The Wait! Can't Stand The Wait!

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Unread 04-11-2008, 02:54 PM
Can't Stand The Wait!

Maybe I should just stay off this site for awhile, I think I'm driving myself nuts. I've got an indefinite amount of time to go before my hysterectomy, and the wait is killing me.

I'm on a wait list for a TAH for multiple (innumerable) fibroids... the wait list is 9 months long, and I'm at the bottom. I just don't know what to do with myself. I'm 25 and wish I could live like it. I did a medical withdrawal from university this semester, I just had too many 'ow' days, missed too much class.
Now I need a job... one that allows me to be a bad employee and have plenty of useless days. Don't really know what to do about that. I hurt man! But I don't want to sit on disability for the next year either.

I also don't want to wait this long for my surgery. I am in a lot of pain 3/4 of the month. My periods are fine as my fibroids are intramural or on the outside, but I swell up, sex is torture, back hurts, BM's hurt, have to pee all the time, clothes don't fit. I'm sick of it. And I have to endure this for an undisclosed amount of time, while waiting patiently to have my womb removed, with all the implications that brings.
This is not fair on my psyche! I keep second-guessing my decision, keep reading posts aboout how sex will never be the same...
Now I've made the decision to go ahead with the hysto, I just want it done. Any other canadians facing wait times like this? Doesn't seem like I can do anything to speed up the process...
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Unread 04-11-2008, 03:08 PM
Can't Stand The Wait!

Hi NotYet,

As far as the job goes, can you get some work from home like telemarketing that will let you set your own schedule?

Sorry to hear you've got such a long wait. Mine was seven months (I had to go through six months of chemo first and then I have to wait a month to get built up), so I can sympathize. We've only just set the date a few weeks ago.

Please do keep visiting this site. The postive comments and lessons learned and invaluable while you're waiting.
Unread 04-11-2008, 03:18 PM
Can't Stand The Wait!

Thanks MGrubbs,
Yeah, maybe i'll look into one of these work from home things, I just always think they're all scams... perhaps I can find something thats not!

Your wait sounds a bit more agonizing than mine! I just can't seem to stop dwelling on it. It is a pretty major thing though, I suppose it's normal to be caught up in it. I just want to get back to living, you know...

Anyhow, good luck on your journey, hope all goes well.
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Unread 04-11-2008, 03:29 PM
Can't Stand The Wait!

I can only imagine the anxiety you are experiencing. My hyster is on the 28th of this month and I am having a hard time waiting. I do know that sometimes all you need is someone to talk with and the sisterhood here is a great place to be. I am feeling so scared and can't stop shaking. I have found comfort here and I hope you do too. When I first read through some of the posts I freaked out then I got some posts from sisters who are where I am in the process and from sisters who have already been there. That made me feel better just talking about it. Stay strong, Naomi
Unread 04-11-2008, 04:30 PM
Can't Stand The Wait!


I only had to wait 2 months, however, I used that time to process the decision that I made. I wrote my feelings down, saw a councilor and made a paper uterus filled little pieces of paper with all the things that were going away with the uterus, both good and bad, and burned it with my DH after a few glasses of wine.

I know that what I did may not be your thing, but I do suggest using this time to find out what you need to know about what's coming, this site is the perfect place for that. And also, do what you need to do to deal with the emotional side of this life changing event. Find what works for you. Talk to who you need to. Take care of the Princess.

Best of luck and warm fuzzies to you.
Unread 04-11-2008, 04:42 PM
Can't Stand The Wait!

Hey NotYet,

I am so sorry you are suffering so much! My heart aches for you as I have girls in university and I have no idea how they would ever manage what you are doing.

My wait in Ontario was only 3 months and that was because I required a four hour time slot as I am having other repairs done. I would consider seeing another doctor if possible. The squeeky wheel always get oiled. Really let them how you are struggling.

Unread 04-14-2008, 04:08 PM
Can't Stand The Wait!

Wow, thank you all for your replies. It really does feel good just to share with people who understand what you're going through. Today, I just want it out. Woke up in lots of pain today, think I was having a 'good' dream... lots of blood rushed down there, my tummy feels so lumpy and hard today. Don't really know what to do. I've already seen 3 doctors, and I like the current one, just his wait list is soooo long... feels like my life is on hold
Unread 04-14-2008, 04:48 PM
Can't Stand The Wait!

Wow I thought BC was one of the better provinces for health care. I've lived in several but not BC.
I'm in Ontario and I have a seven week wait from dr. office to hyst date.
I have had several other visits with her and I had an ablation last summer and my problems really started after that so she probably feels responsible. No actually she does feel responsible and I just keep saying I'm a freak of nature.
I think the advice about call centers is great as they are quite numerable here in Canada and they pay half decent.
The other places are good ol Timmies who by the way pay very well in Edmonton right now so maybe it's the same in BC.
I'm sorry you're going through so much frustration. I'll keep you in my prayers. Maybe use this time to review some course material and whatever you do don't give your schooling. I did 14 years ago when some major health problems hit after my fifth child. Now I'm paying back a student loan from a degree that I never finished.
Bless ya
Unread 04-14-2008, 06:17 PM
Can't Stand The Wait!

Hi Notyet,

I'm sitting here really feeling so useless, because I cannot form a word or sentence to help you or to make it all better. I heard every word you wrote and I felt your frustration. You are very young, and no, it's not fair. I do want to say, please hang on. Please try and focus on the things you can do something about or that makes you happy.

I could tell you my own story about pain and uncertainty. I'm sure many on here are going, have gone, or know someone who is going through situations that are either in their control or not their control.

I do want you to know there is life after a hysterectomy. There is post-op pain. You'll conquer that too. You will be healthier and energetic after you've healed. Hormone therapy you will find helps A LOT.

July is a few months out. A short time for anyone who isn't facing anything like - SURGERY. You will make it, one day at a time. It will be here quickly for those who aren't on a waiting list. We both know how it feels to bounce along, without a whole lot of rivers to cross or mountains to climb. Life goes by so fast when we are sailing through.

This journey of life we are in, is just that.....a journey. A cycle. One worth traveling. When we go through something, we not only look at life differently, in retrospect, we look at ourselves differently, and other people differently. Everything and everyone has a purpose and is deeply valued.

If we stop and ponder, we will see just how fast everything is moving, especially TIME. I'm at the age I'd like to see it slow down a long as I'm not in pain. :-) We know pain is a part of life. I do wish you peace. I hope you can arrive to a place of embracing this time while you wait. Make this time count in a positive way, one that will lift your spirit and may it shape you for all of your tomorrows. I hope you can.

Pansy- 45
Sept. DNC and Balloon Ablation
Feb. TAH, BS, VS for:
Multiple Uterine Fibroids, Uterine Polyps, Ovarian Cysts, Cervical Cysts
Unread 04-15-2008, 03:20 PM
Yay family doctor

Whew. What a day so far. Pansy, thanks for your reply, whether you thought you could or not, you did make me feel better. For a bit, but that's all I can ask for right now, eh?

So I went to the walk-in clinic today, as my family doc is there tuesdays... SO glad I went, even though it was kinda hard. Long wait. I finally got put in a waiting room, and immediately my doctor, very nice man, stood outside my door discussing his beautiful baby boy. No offense, but I'm in kind of a hate-pregnant-people-&-babies phase...

But then he came in and I explained how huge I feel, and weird pains in my legs & back and all the usual. He examined me and said I'm at least a 16-week sized uterus and it's way deformed, and retroverted and huge! Way bigger than last time I saw him. Feels good to know it's not in my head, I have been having a growth spurt. He said he'd call my gyn tomorrow and tell him to put me on his emergency-hurry-up list. So glad. In a way. Also shaky and freaked. Would be nice to set a date and start planning though.

At least I feel like maybe I could get out and do something, walk my dogs... something constructive. Haven't much left my bed or computer for a couple days... been obsessing. Hard not to.

Anywho, thank you all for your good advice and your support. So much appreciated when no one I know can grasp the concept of what I'm dealing with.


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