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Anyone else sorry that she had a hysterectomy? Anyone else sorry that she had a hysterectomy?

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  #1  
Unread 04-11-2008, 07:46 PM
Anyone else sorry that she had a hysterectomy?

I think I am. I had severe prolapse but no real pain from it. I did not bleed or anything like that. I had bulges in my vagina from the bladder and a pouch on the rectum side in addition to the cervix being right there at the entrance to the vagina. I had all of these fixed but I am having leaking problems and an inability to completely empty my bladder. I also had a uti from e coli which responded well to antibiotics which was my only problem during the first 10 weeks post op but in the last three weeks I have had a few little accidents. The surgeon did not do the bladder sling that she originally had planned to do. She says if it is needed that she will do it in the office under a local. I think it may be needed.

My husband and I have tried to have sex twice but could not do it either time. I have not had sex since before Christmas and I am not a happy camper. He has stated that he has no interest in having sex anymore and I am ready to walk right out the door. We've been married almost 40 years and I have never been with another man sexually. I am severely depressed about the whole thing. It does not help that he mimiced an echo in a cave and said "hello, hello, hello" when talking to some friends of ours about the surgery. It was very mean and degrading.


Anyone else having second thoughts?
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  #2  
Unread 04-11-2008, 08:01 PM
Anyone else sorry that she had a hysterectomy?

I am so sorry you are going through all of that with your DH. I can't say I regret the surgery as of yet and I pray I don't since there is no going back. Hang in there and don't be hard on yourself. What ever your husbands problem is don't make it yours also. Work on your self and get yourself taken care of. If he doesn't come around maybe you can suggest marriage counseling. Once again I am truly sorry you are going through this. I will say a prayer for you.
  #3  
Unread 04-11-2008, 09:02 PM
Anyone else sorry that she had a hysterectomy?

Hello downyocean, I also have only been with one man, I married my high school sweetheart. I have not been cleared for sex yet so I can't help you there, but I would like to give you a hystersister . I don't know what I would do if I did'nt have such a great man, he is very discreate about our personal life and I love that about him. He has been very patient in waiting for clearence. I am pretty sure I made the right desision in having a hyster, not far enough along in recovery to know yet, I still have bad days and get tired often.I wish you stength in your time of healing, sometimes we have to be our own bestfriend. Best wishes
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  #4  
Unread 04-11-2008, 09:08 PM
Anyone else sorry that she had a hysterectomy?

You're just a couple of weeks ahead of me and you've had a lot more work done. I know that it's hard to be patient with the whole healing process. I try to look at the 'silver lining' (sometimes it's hard to find it) but there are 'perks' for me, no period and a lessened chance of developing cancer which I'm a ticking time bomb for. Regarding the hubby, sometimes they just can't help but be clueless. I've been married for 25 years and these days 40 years is quite the achievement!! I believe it was a momentary lack of compassion that produced these hurtful comments and maybe you could sit him down and 'realign his perspective'. I'm sure that in 40 years you've had to have the odd talk. I know I've had to! Don't let poorly chosen words hurt you. You're an extremely strong woman to have gone through all of this and you will come out shining! Hang in there. You'll start to feel better.... promise.
  #5  
Unread 04-12-2008, 06:16 AM
Anyone else sorry that she had a hysterectomy?

Downy:
I totally agree with Banff... Sometimes people say things without thinking.
I have learned from this ordeal to speak my mind. When I am hurt, I call people on it ... It may not help the situation, but it makes me feel better. In the past I would avoid confrontation at all costs... From this situation I have learned that I need to stick up for ME . Noone else will. Tell him how you feel... Maybe he just needs to hear it... 40 years is a long time... I have been with my DH for 34 and there are times when we need to step back, look at things, discuss them, and then move on...
Also remember, your emotions will run havoc with you right now, so bear in mind that things that happen now, may not bother you later.
Best wishes and remember, we are always here for you to vent
  #6  
Unread 04-12-2008, 06:16 AM
Anyone else sorry that she had a hysterectomy?

i'm sorry youre going through a hard time. as for the surgical problems, all you can do is take charge and go to whatever dr you need to, to get things fixed. dont give up on that..keep at it until you feel better.
as for your husband...i am just separated 8 months now after a 23 year marriage and the little degrading comment your husband made reminded me of some things that i put up with. a lot of times those kinds of things are not said to intentionally hurt but its amazing how much they do. have you been to marriage counseling? we went for awhile but i realized after we went and heard myself talking, that i really didnt want to work on things, while my ex did. it was sad and i felt bad, but things are soooo peaceful now. marriage counseling is a real eye opener...it might be what you need to have your husband realize that you are serious.
  #7  
Unread 04-12-2008, 09:15 AM
Anyone else sorry that she had a hysterectomy?

Kay -

I am so sorry you are having these issues. You know I had so many complications and although I am better finally and back to my life, I am still on the fence about whether I am happy about my hyster or regret it. I think though that physically you need to keep seeing your Dr until you are satisfied with the results. I know it is trying, I did it myself, but you deserve your total health back.

I have been single now for 2 yrs after 22 yrs of mariage. That comment your husband made was exactly the type of thing I went through. Additionally my ex had a huge anger management issue and would scream and yell all the time. We also went to counseling but ended up splitting up for the same reason as dressedupinblue. I was done. I have a friend who was in a similar situation and for them the counselig worked and they are much happier so it is worth a try.

Hugs,

Starbgirl
  #8  
Unread 04-12-2008, 10:29 AM
Anyone else sorry that she had a hysterectomy?

downy,
i understand just how you feel. i am regretting it big time here lately. i have some other medical problems, and it seems the Hystorectomy made them worse. it even says that can happen, but i didnt do my homework very good & didnt know until it was too late. as for the hubby thing, theres no excuse for all that. not to mention you his wife, but your a human being too thats had a Major life change with the surgery. wonder how he would react if someone too all his male part, and told him he would feel like crap for ooh maybe a year, and may loose his Libido, and lets see maybe throw in some hot flashes & night sweats, nightmares, hmmmm. dont think he would handle it too well.hate to say it, but most men don't get it & couldnt handle it. Honey i hope your feeling better & doing better soon. if you dont mind i'll add you to my Prayer list. (( Hugs)) Kat
  #9  
Unread 04-12-2008, 10:36 AM
Anyone else sorry that she had a hysterectomy?

I am so sorry you are so down and having so much trouble I too had a severe prolapse uterus and everthing along with it was also prolpase. I am only a week and a 1/2 post op so haven't even thought about sex yet, but I am scared, I wasn't in any pain but I was very uncomfortable for sure, and my periods were so bad, so I am ok with having my hysterectomy but I just wanted to give you tons of support hon
  #10  
Unread 04-12-2008, 02:00 PM
Anyone else sorry that she had a hysterectomy?

I also had to have the sling surgery after my prolapse surgery. It was an out - patient procedure.

Also my dh left my after my last surgery. I to had to deal with degrading comments. It has been hard, but things are getting better and I am happy that I no longer listening to all the degrading comments.
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