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Sex after a hysterectomy Sex after a hysterectomy

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Unread 04-22-2008, 10:11 AM
Sex after a hysterectomy

Okay, I know I'm jumping the gun here, because I'm only 13 days post op, but after having to have my DR put a speculum in me yesterday morning and feel around in there because I had ripped a couple stiches... the very thought of having sex again now has me absolutely mortified! I thought I was going to pass out from the pain when he put that thing in me!
For those of you that have been thru this (having a hysterectomy, etc.) and have resumed having sex again, was it painful? How many weeks did your DR have you wait until you were cleared to have sex? Did you bleed? Was it like when you lost your virginity?
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Unread 04-22-2008, 10:18 AM
Sex after a hysterectomy

I had TVH with posterior repair on 1-08, sex was a little awkward and uncomfortable for me the first few times, I have seen some posts where women felt like they were virgins again, not me!! I felt like I just wasn't myself, I do think a lot of it has to do with your attitude about having the hysterectomy in the first place and for me the whole thing was just hard. I waited 7 weeks and still experience soreness after and sometimes during when sex is too deep, I hope your experience is great!
Unread 04-22-2008, 10:24 AM
Sex after a hysterectomy

Hi Cyndi!

You're very early in your recovery and you've had extensive repairs. It's no wonder you are wondering if you'll ever want or be able to have sex again.

Healing takes time and yes, at first it can be painful or uncomfortable, but not everyone has that experience. My doctor released me at 6 weeks but it wasn't until I was around the 13 week mark when I felt ready. It wasn't painful. My dh was very gentle because we were both nervous about resuming intercourse after this surgery.

Try not to worry (easier said than done) and when you do get the all clear from your doctor, take it slow and easy. It is a good idea to have a lubricant nearby in case it's needed. My doctor recommended Astroglide and that one has been a good choice for me.

Best wishes as your healing continues!

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Unread 04-22-2008, 10:31 AM
Sex after a hysterectomy

I had a TVH on Jan 21. I was scared to death too about sex. And did not do it until around my 8th week post op. And keep in mind it's your body. Just because your Dr says you can do it doesn't mean you have to go home and do it right away. It's nothing wrong with wanting to wait until your ready. It was uncomfortable for me the first time but not unbearable. And me being so tense probably made it worse. My Dr had said he would call me in Valium but I didn't want that and although i'm not a drinker I did have one drink to sort of help me relax. I did not bleed. It dont' know if my body was like a virgin again. It's been years since that and I can't remember but I did ask my DH and he said it did feel tighter. I promise you it wasn't too bad and the second time was much better.
Unread 04-22-2008, 11:21 AM
Sex after a hysterectomy

I had my TVH on 2/13, and my doctor had my partner and I wait 5 weeks to resume intercourse. The first time, we took it slow and easy, with lots of eye contact and communication to make sure I was able to communicate any pain. I was tighter at first than I was pre-op, but nothing unpleasant at all.

The first couple of weeks, deep penetration was a bit tender and sore, and I did spot a tad afterwards. But nothing too bad, we just stuck with shallower penetration for a while. We did have to cut back from having intercourse daily in those initial weeks, as I was left too sore. But now that I'm about 9 weeks post-op - we're back to our normal at least daily activity and I'm hardly experiencing any negative sensations. Sometimes I'm not feeling up to an extended play session, but that's about it.

Trust your body, listen to your body - and go at the pace you feel most comfortable at.
Unread 04-22-2008, 01:06 PM
Sex after a hysterectomy

I too was very worried about the sex thing and I waited until I was 16 weeks. It was o.k. tiny bit of pain but nothing major and I didn't bleed after or have any issues after either. It had been so long (since October 2007) Of course it was very long lOL I am glad that I can perform without any issues now but I did wait longer then I was told, I just wanted to be sure and not end up back in the hospital with an issue or problem. Good luck
Unread 04-22-2008, 01:25 PM
Sex after a hysterectomy

I was both eager and apprehensive. First time, I used lubrication and it was fine. I did spot a bit. Second time, hubby commented that I felt tighter than the first time (probably because of the lubrication) but didn't have any spotting!

I was released at 6 weeks and we had sex that same evening. We are taking it easier though. Nothing rough, slow and easy. I have to admit, my orgasms now are amazing. They've always been good but they're even more intense. Oh, and I didn't experience any pain. During or after.
Unread 04-22-2008, 02:18 PM
Sex after a hysterectomy

Thank you for all of your candid responses. My BF and I have always had an amazing sex life until I started getting sick back in December, then sex either hurt or I bleed and hurt afterwards... there towards the end he was afraid to touch me. I miss being that physically close to him so much that it is absolutely rips my heart in two! I lay my head on his bare chest now and yearn to crawl inside of him just to feel "that" connection and closeness again. I am a very sexual person and not having that as an active part of our lives has been very difficult... more so on me than I believe on him, he keeps assuring me that everything is fine. I worry about his needs being fulfilled.
We haven't even been able to "spoon" cuddle because of this stupid catheter! I know my hormones are at work here, but I just feel so disconnected and sad.
Unread 04-23-2008, 08:46 PM
Sex after a hysterectomy

I was released for intercourse at 6 weeks (outercourse at 3 weeks), and we started off very slowly, used some KY just to be safe and it was fantastic!
Unread 04-23-2008, 09:19 PM
Sex after a hysterectomy

I was released for sex at 6 weeks. I had no pain, spotting, or trouble with lubrication. Sex for me and dh was same as before surgery. DH said nothing felt different in anyway. Everything worked well for us. It was great! This is my experience. From what I've read every one is different, so just be sure to listen to your body, and take it slow and easy. Good luck, and praying for a speedy, and trouble free recovery for you.

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