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How Can I Get People to Understand?? How Can I Get People to Understand??

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  #11  
Unread 05-04-2008, 09:17 PM
How Can I Get People to Understand??

find the nearest hotel and check yourself in, just make sure its one with room service!!!! LOL, just kidding (if only that were possible)

i second what others have said, let them do a little reading about what you just went thru, maybe they would get it a little more!!
Good Luck!!
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  #12  
Unread 05-05-2008, 07:49 AM
How Can I Get People to Understand??

(((Shade19)))
My heart goes out to you and all of the members here who are having a difficult time with unsympathetic families. This is a difficult time emotionally as well as physically and I know how frustrated and hurt you all must feel.

The Mister Hystersisters site has been mentioned here, but I'll give you the link so you can look it over. This is a good place to direct dh's and other family members to find some information that could help them understand your needs better.

I want to encourage all of you not to give up and give in and do things that will only make you more miserable and possibly hurt you physically as well. What it comes down to with all of us at some point is that you have to be proactive and make the decision for yourselves not to do anything that will jeaopradize your recovery. This probably means calling a family meeting and having a talk about what you will and won't be doing, emphasizing your dr's orders of course. You may need to make a list of what you will need the other members of the family to be doing, and possibly chart out who will do what when. We used to live by the chart on the fridge.

I know this takes effort, but try to stay calm and talk to them, let your family know what you need from them. Don't suffer in silence and don't assume they understand. I think often they truly don't really get it that mom can't do what she usually does.

As for the complaining, I'm not sure you can stop it. All you can really do is set your boundaries and stand up for yourself. If husbands won't or can't help, you may need to look for a teenager in the neighborhood to help care for little ones part of the time while you rest, or even to run to the store for you or come in and tidy things up.

If you stay strong and determined not to do things you shouldn't be doing, your family will get the idea as the dishes pile and as you order out for food, or they find there is no food.

Try to stay encouraged and take good care of yourselves, even if no one else will. You'll get through this time. Keep trying to communicate your needs and don't budge where it concerns your health.
's, Rita
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