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Am I the only one who feels this way?? Am I the only one who feels this way??

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  #1  
Unread 05-04-2008, 09:08 PM
Am I the only one who feels this way??

Why does everyone around me think my recovery should be a piece of cake?? I get the feeling from everyone around me that I should be 'over it' already and moving past it now that the surgery is over. Its been 12 days. I just don't understand...and they just don't get it.
I spoke to my mom today---who by the way has not helped out one time since my surgery on 4/22. (I have 2 kids--ages 5 and 3). I made the 'mistake' of complaining to her that I'd overdone it yesterday when my DH and I took the kids out of the house for a lunch and trip to walmart. Within minutes of walking around, putting items into a cart, I was hurting bad....and by the time we got home I was bleeding again too. My mom had the audacity to say to me "Well don't you think its time you should be feeling better? I mean your surgery WAS 2 weeks ago. You can't just lay around forever." I was like "Do you not realize I just had MAJOR surgery just 12 days ago??---(I had a TVH with bladder suspension and A&P repairs). She was like "Well I've had a hysterectomy and I didn't make such a big deal about it"
No one understands...no one except all of you here. Why do people think that one day we have surgery, major I might add, and the next week we should all be back to "normal"?? Before yesterday, I had not taken a narcotic pain med all week....after overdoing it, I had to take Demerol and stay flat on my back. My DH just rolls his eyes at me.....because every minute that I am NOT taking care of the kids is a minute HE has to! Did he honestly think that the pain and bleeding, etc. would just disappear as quickly as it appeared and I'd magically be better in a week? He heard with his own ears from the doctors mouth about ALL of my restrictions.
To top it all off, my mom has had her own hysterectomy for heavens sake...you'd think she'd remember but she claims she has no memory of all of it. Of course she must've been Wonder Woman or something back then (it was 7 years ago; she just had a hyst, no other repairs). She just can't understand why I've needed so much help (from my friends who actually care) with the kids and the household stuff. I will tell you that I will never complain to her again. I will not mention how much pain I'm in or share any details about my recovery with any of them. They aren't interested in it....none of them are. All they care about is things/life getting back to normal. Too bad I'm the one in pain and having to suffer through it alone. I just need more time.
Thanks for listening. I had to vent and no one else understands.

~MusicLvr~
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  #2  
Unread 05-04-2008, 10:05 PM
Am I the only one who feels this way??

Im sorry you are not getting the support you need and deserve!! Some/most people just dont "get it". I'm 5-1/2 wks post op & had a really great/uneventful recovery (I had a TAH/BSO) & I still am not 100%. I still get tired some days more than others and if I do too much I start cramping so I have to stop & rest. Just remember, YOU are the only one that can allow your body to heal the way it needs to & plz take care of yourself ...
praying for you that it gets better!
  #3  
Unread 05-04-2008, 10:10 PM
Am I the only one who feels this way??

I'm sorry about the obvious lack of support in your life MusicLvr but coming to your hystersisters here is one of the wisest things you could do. Maybe you and your husband should consider making a visit to the doctor and having the doctor explain to your husband all the restrictions you have and the reasons for them. As you said, this was major surgery which can take even the healthiest woman who's "only" had a "simple" hysterectomy several months, sometimes a year or more, to fully recover from. This is your only chance for a full recovery, and you must insist upon getting the support you need and want, whether it's from your husband, mother, or other close family members or friends.
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  #4  
Unread 05-04-2008, 10:19 PM
Am I the only one who feels this way??

I totally understand what you mean! Everyone thinks that if you aren't laid up in a hospital you are fine!
  #5  
Unread 05-04-2008, 10:33 PM
Am I the only one who feels this way??

I understand exactly what you are talking about. Some of the people closest to you either minimize the pain etc, or tell you they want you to relax, but get all grumpy when 'stuff' doesn't get done. My advice is... stay in your PJ's. take care of yourself, and when you feel like you have to do something, move reeeeally slow and make sure everyone sees
  #6  
Unread 05-05-2008, 06:43 AM
Am I the only one who feels this way??

maybe you should remind your mom that when she had her hyste (7 years ago) she didnt have 2 young kids and she could rest, rest, rest... you however have had not only the hyste, but other repairs and are trying your best to recover while taking care of your family... remind both DH and mom that recovery takes MUCH longer when your expected to do things your not suppose to be doing,( resting is the only thing your suppose to do)
i got the looks too, i had to let it go, i went to my bedroom, put on my earphones for my mp3 and blocked out all the noise.. man was that hard to do.. i thought i was gonna pay for it too later.. but it all worked out... besides if my DH EVER wants "IT" again he knows i need to heal first.. cant heal if i dont rest... he he he.....best wishes for you... hoping things get better soon...
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