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New and afraid... New and afraid...

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Unread 05-21-2008, 11:33 PM
New and afraid...

I just found out today that I am going to need a hyst to remove my cervix and uterus, and my bladder resuspended in about 6 weeks, they are going to leave my ovaries unless they find something during surgery as I am also bi- polar and the idea of menopause during this stage of my life terrifies me.

I am the primary care giver of my 1 year old son as my fiance is a full time college student, works part time, and is in the Army reserves as well. I am scared of how I am going to be able to take care of my son as he is used to lots of attention, and used to me being able to meet all of his needs. My family is 6 hours away and his family all have demanding jobs, I never really bothered to make friends here because it was only going to be a 3 year move (one year remaining...) Don't get me wrong I have become friends with some of his old friends, but its not the same as having hands on support from my own friends and family.

My mind is reeling and I am lost...
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Unread 05-22-2008, 12:03 AM
New and afraid...

Welcome! You found a great group here with very good advice! First off, you mentioned you are bi-polar. Make sure you keep track of your meds and use you doctor that gives you your bi-meds to help ease you through this, Okay. You also mentioned that your family is 6 hours away, but nothing about demanding jobs. Is it possible to ask them for help in a short term basis at different times through this? Even though people around you have demanding jobs, like you fiances family, they may be able to do short term care too. Friends of his that are now friends of your fit this too. Churches are good. So are other programs. You Do have a little time to find/research and reach out for help. You also mentioned that your other half is in the Reserves... You should be able to find help there. I am prior Activy Duty with some Reserve time and I know first hand that the Army Reserves have a great Family Support Group. Even though you are not married yet... they may be able to help you! All you need to do is ask! Wishing you the best! Jennifer
Unread 05-22-2008, 12:11 AM
New and afraid...

My mom may try to come for a couple of days after, but time off is scarce and gas is well insane right now, I thought about the FRG, but his reserve unit is 100 miles from here (he commutes) so I don't know how much help they can be. I have one female friend here who I am sure will help when she can, but the rest are guys, and well, thats just akward. I laugh as I imagine a few guys in there mid 20's "helping" me after that kind of surgery... It may do well for comic relief though... I am not too worried about the bi- polar part as I have control of that pretty well, and my doc is only a phone call away, it was the idea of bi- polar menopause at 27 that was making me nervous. Hopefully my ovaries are ok when they go in and it won't be an issue.
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Unread 05-22-2008, 11:28 AM
New and afraid...

{{{Cery}}} hello and welcome.

You have found the best place to be!! This site is full of sisters that have a world of knowledge, information and support, all available, all the time.

I can't really add much. Niffer already suggested just about every possible outreach for help. Take advantage of every helping hand you can. Healing properly is huge. While you won't be able to pick up your little one for a while, hugs, snuggling and sitting and laying together works too!! Just remember to keep your tummy protected.

Prayers to you. Keep your head up and keep on the boards. Always a shoulder and a hug just a post away.

Unread 05-22-2008, 06:12 PM
New and afraid...

Well, maybe record a bunch of big comfy couch & family channels to keep the little guy amused - make a game of it. Do you have one of those body pillows? You could put it between you and your son in your bed to keep him from jumping/laying on you with the tv all set up in there & snacks near by & make ahead meals made. Also hire a sitter for a few hours in the day to start for your self-care and sleeping time after your mom leaves. Have a play area for his stuff in the room too. Show him before hand & demonstrate how it will go. Make a game of it. I know he's only 1 yrs old and I feel for ya!! Yes take any help you can get from the guys they'll love to be there and be the man to help you with your son. Good luck!

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