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Phrases I choose to ignore!!!! Phrases I choose to ignore!!!!

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Unread 06-06-2008, 10:34 AM
Phrases I choose to ignore!!!!

Well here we go........

Last 4 docs. .."I don't feel anything just take a laxative"

DH.....(for 5 years) "It's good you'r bleeding so much it's
cleaning you out"
DH..."why do we need someone here after I go back to

DH... "It's probably just gas cramps your' feeling"
DMIL (dear mother in-law) "Oh believe me it will be no big
After our discussion of me not being a hypocondriac after all and turning it all around and being so helpful.....
DH...."Well I think all you'll need is me home for a couple of
days, after all I have to take a day off to go to your
Male Doc...."I don't want to give you any pain meds"
Nurse..."If the pain gets too bad turn on some soft music"

Just to name a few...

Anyone else hearing phrases they are choosing to ignore?

I am just so sick of people presuming to know me. I am a 47 year old woman who is having a hysterectomy. They will probably remove my ovaries which need to be biopsied. I am allowed to be upset. I am allowed to take more then a couple of days to recover. I could go on all day!!! So many comments that everyone says I am overreacting to. They are just all building up.
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Unread 06-06-2008, 10:47 AM
Phrases I choose to ignore!!!!

OH my goodness I am so with you on this! My latest favorite is when my daughter (age 14) said "how much longer are you going to be sick". I have ran her all over town for this project and that before I was even supposed to be driving and less than a week post op she asked me this. My husband has said some of the same sensitive remarks. Why is it that so many people in our lives think we just need to get the surgery over with and move on. I know I have said nothing to help you feel better but if it is any help at all...I know how you feel and sometimes it just helps to be able to talk to friends here. Take special care and keep ignoring them!
Unread 06-06-2008, 10:52 AM
Phrases I choose to ignore!!!!

I am sorry to hear people are speaking to you like that. Mine favs were

MIL - But you will get so old
Multiple people - but your too young, is there anything else you can do?
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Unread 06-06-2008, 10:57 AM
Phrases I choose to ignore!!!!

One good hint I have heard is to stay in your jammies after surgery...if you dress 'normally', you will 'look' normal.

Showing family the incision early on helps too.

ah4653...will be hard to undo this after you already have driven all over showing you 'can'.

1. Please sign up for the Checkpoints so you can show others the guidelines for activities.

2. Do an internet search for pics of a hysterectomy (I have found some and they are not "gory"), and post them innocently on...oh, say, the FRIDGE!

3. Print out the Misterhystersisters section on this site, and leave it lying around...

4. Have Hubby (both of them) read some of the Post-Op posts on here...

Unread 06-06-2008, 12:09 PM
Phrases I choose to ignore!!!!

I understand where you're coming from... here are some to add to the list:

From coworkers: "Everything's all set for your 8 week vacation!"

"It's an elective procedure - you could postpone it for awhile."

"It's not like you're hemorraging and you don't seem like you're in pain very often, why are you having such a major surgery?"

"I had a D&C a few months ago and was fine in a couple days, I'm sure you won't need to be out of the office for THAT long."

Luckily my male boss and most of my family -especially my DH - has been very supportive so far. I think my DH is more worried than I am, but that might change as the date gets closer. He's all prepared to take care of me afterward - which I am not used to - I hope that I learn to accept his help gracefully.
Unread 06-06-2008, 12:14 PM
Phrases I choose to ignore!!!!

People can be very insensitive. Some people are just that way and others are saying these things because they don't know what else to say.

The conversation with the anastheologist that had me sign the consent form before my surgery went like this...

Her: "Hi. I'm ____. You're too young to have this done."
Me: Stunned. Forced myself to laugh.
Her: "Why are you having this done? What are you going to do about hormones?"

What?! I'm a 28 year old laying here by myself scared and this is what you have to say! Horrible bedside manner. I made sure to write about this on my survery. It was the only negative interaction I had while at the hospital, but boy did it stick out. Sorry this isn't encouraging but know that you are not alone.
Unread 06-06-2008, 01:20 PM
Phrases I choose to ignore!!!!

My favorite from my DH: "I know exactly what to expect- it will be just like my vasectomy!"
Unread 06-06-2008, 01:24 PM
Phrases I choose to ignore!!!!

OK, My favorite HAS to be the soft music suggestion.....if this worked, I think the stores would have sold out long ago!
Unread 06-06-2008, 01:55 PM
Phrases I choose to ignore!!!!

ok fortunate my Dh has been so supportive. now my kids are little and don't really understand although my 8 year old says. Mommy I hope you feel better soon... but I suffer from sever sever endo. and all I say to folks that even TRY and give me advise..


besides I am very blunt and have no probelm telling folks that their advise is UNWATED...
Unread 06-06-2008, 02:00 PM
Phrases I choose to ignore!!!!

Wow! I can see why they've been building up!

Here are some said to me:

My previous doc (when I complained about pain): There's nothing wrong with you. This is a normal part of getting older. Here have some birth control and Prozac.

Friends: I would seriously reconsider this major operation... besides, I read that fibroids don't hurt.

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