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  #1  
Unread 06-22-2008, 06:17 PM
Big fear

I have a fear I have not seen here yet... (or at least since I joined)...

I really am not scared of the hospital or the procedures, or even recovery... I am afraid of being brought into the OR without being knocked out first.

In 2 previous surgeries, I was fully out before being wheeled in. I was comfortable with that. My last surgery I was slightly awake even after being wheeled in. I was panicking and very anxious. But I was unable to say or do anything about it. I could not even speak of move. i was awake when i was strapped to the table and moved around... It really doesn't sound that bad. But for me it was terrifying. The stark white walls, the bright lights... just thinking about it makes my chest tighten up.

I have expressed my desire to the surgeon and during my pre-op appt. Both said I need to tell the anesthesiologist himself before the surgery. It is his decision to allow that or not. (Before it was just done, I never knew I had to ask for it.) It sounds like I will have to be firm and demand it. But I am not that type of person. I am afraid I will be unable to remember to ask it. Or he will just not do as I request.

Suggestions? Advice?

I am fine until we leave for the hospital. Then I get very anxious and have to take 2 pills in order to function at all. (pre-approved by surgeon) They make me very sleepy and scattered brained.

I am really afraid of being awake. It is almost, but not quite, to the point I would cancel the surgery.
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  #2  
Unread 06-22-2008, 06:21 PM
Big fear

Do you have a family member or healthcare advocate who will be there with you? You might enlist them to bring it up to the anesthesiologist and then you could pipe in. Two are stronger than one!
  #3  
Unread 06-22-2008, 06:25 PM
Big fear

I would think that the anesthesiologist wouldn't have a problem sedating you before you go to OR - they are there to help you, and I know you're not the first (and won't be the last) who is anxious about the OR. Perhaps, if you are afraid you won't be able to speak up, whomever is taking you to the hospital can advocate for you. Or, you could write down a list of requests and concerns now, and take them with you. Then you could just hand over the paper. Also, it may help for the anesthesiologist to explain to you step by step what is going to happen. Knowing what's about to go on always makes me feel better. I've always been fully awake going in to the OR, but someone has always been by my side telling me what to expect next, and the act of being fully awake and in control of my actions was a comfort to me (I'm a control freak!). I agree that being in that state of awake but unable to speak or move would be totally frightening. I'd want fully awake or totally out! Hope these suggestions help - I'll be thinking about you!
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  #4  
Unread 06-22-2008, 06:26 PM
Big fear

Start by taking a nice deep breath and try to relax.
I think that if you explain all your fears to the anesthesiologist, he/she should be able to work out something that you can tolerate. I know that anytime that I've had a worry they really have done their best to work with me.
If you're afraid that you may forget to mention it, make a list and take it with you when you have your pre-op appointment.

Best wishes.

S
  #5  
Unread 06-22-2008, 06:44 PM
Big fear

I was terrified of something similar. I brought up my concerns with the anesthesia nurse at the pre-op, who made a bunch of notes in my file, and again with the anesthesiologist on the day of the surgery. I pretty much begged her to give me something that would fix it so that I didn't remember anything about the surgery, and she fixed me up right. After a little Versed in my IV, I honestly can't remember anything that happened between them putting my surgical cap on and when I regained consciousness in the recovery room - which is just how I wanted it.

I had a lot of deep-seated, horrifying phobias about hospitals, surgery and general anesthesia, and my doctors and nurses were generally willing to go out of their way to make things less stressful for me whenever possible.

Good luck.
  #6  
Unread 06-22-2008, 07:01 PM
Big fear

I will see if my husband will speak up for me. That is usually something he won't do. It wouldn't faze him to be completely awake. he doesn't get it. He never gets sick, let alone needs surgery.

I already had my pre-op. She was not helpful.

I will also bring a list, at least intend to, with questions and concerns...

thanks
  #7  
Unread 06-22-2008, 07:36 PM
Big fear

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Sue1

I will also bring a list, at least intend to, with questions and concerns...

thanks
I think writing a note and pinning it to your gown would work. That way if you forget they would see the note addressed to them to read and ask you about it.

I know what your fear is like. I never had surgery before Jan when I went in for my D and C. They walked me in and I was awake while they attacked monitors and prepared me for the stirrups.

I was so nervous I made each of the nurses introduce themselves to me as I saw them. I was so talkative I am certain they all smiled when I was finally put to sleep. I was irritated that there was one spot in the ceiling that was unpainted. I had to tell them that..........and ask who came in when the door opened. It was just my nervous way I guess.

Good Luck, remember this too shall pass.
Me
  #8  
Unread 06-22-2008, 09:41 PM
Big fear

I am 8 months post op TAH/BSO, when the anstelogist(sp) came into see me day of surgery-he said something about my surgery just being routine. I said to him as long as they are not doing it to you, back to him. His additude changed quite a bit, and was helpful. Maybe your DH and everyone around you needs this same kind of reminder. Speak up and take no prisoners this is your body-those people at the hospital are employed by you while you are their patient. Without patients they would be unemployed. Remember You Employer-They employee-you are in charge.
  #9  
Unread 06-22-2008, 09:43 PM
Big fear

Definately talk with the anestesiologist about your fears. I am sure he will do whatever will make you feel secure.
Good luck on the 30th!
  #10  
Unread 06-23-2008, 12:23 AM
Big fear

Bring your list with you- Good Luck
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