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Unwanted advice! Unwanted advice!

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Unread 08-08-2008, 02:46 PM
Unwanted advice!

First off, you sisters have been great. My issue is my M-n-Law. She was not supportive of my decision to go ahead with my hysterectomy and then was confused that I was worried about cancer (which is not an issue in my case-adenomyosis!). Then when I told her (regretfully now) that I went ahead and added to have a tummy tuck since I will have TAH. My doctor was ok with it and even my DH is ok with it, but for some reason my DM-n-Law thinks I have no clue what I am getting into and the severe pain that I will be in. She calls my DH and tears into him as to why I'm doing this and my DH really is lacking in the understanding of hysterectomies as well, misinforms her that my mother will be with me for a couple of days after surgery. I wanted to shoot him. A couple of days. I told him atleast a week if not more. I am not blind nor am I 3 years old. She has yet to talk to me and when she does I want to be respectful but yet explain that I know this IS MAJOR surgery. DUH????
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Unread 08-08-2008, 03:35 PM
Unwanted advice!

I am sorry that your M-n-L is not being very supportive at this time. She may be acting like this because she is scared for you and doesn't know how to fix it. Sort of like some men react. I would just let her know that the Dr. has already explained everything to you and you know it is major surgery but you have to have this done because you have had enough of all you cycle symptoms, whatever they may be. Maybe she will understand more why you are doing this and she might not realize how bad you have it each time you cycle.
Unread 08-08-2008, 04:38 PM
Unwanted advice!

Has she been through this before? Or had someone close to her who had some complications?

As stated it may just be from not understanding. I say take her aside and talk to her and explain you do understand this is major and all thst goes with it. Maybe share the booklet if you have one from the site, or share the site with her. All about communication.

Good luck helping her understand and reducing your stress
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Unread 08-08-2008, 05:18 PM
Unwanted advice!

yeah my mother in law told me I was gonna be snorfled like a cat, wonderful people they are.
like not having kids isn't a big enough concern for me, then to tell me that. ugh some people have no cooth.
huggles sister, and we will support you all the way.
btw I got the hystersisters brochure in the mail. hubby read the whole thing one night maybe you could order one and have hubby read it. might help.
hugs chris
Unread 08-08-2008, 07:35 PM
Unwanted advice!

Thanks Sisters bunches. Maybe getting a brochure would help. I'll try it.
Unread 08-08-2008, 07:43 PM
Unwanted advice!

Ah, I am so happy that I no longer have a mother-in-law. Divorce can be a good thing. LOL! She was a pain, my ex wasn't.

Anyway, do not let her get to you. You have made a decision based on your situation. It is the right choice for you and that is all that matters.
Unread 08-08-2008, 08:03 PM
Unwanted advice!

Thanks Kathy! Thanks for the encouragement.
Unread 08-08-2008, 08:19 PM
Unwanted advice!

My mother-in-law is not very supportive at all either. She just tells me how much pain I am going to be in, how big my incision will be, and that it will take a long time to heal. She doesn't think that I know anything about what is coming. Well...I do, and yes I am nervous, however....I think that is normal. I am having a TAH & BSO on the 14th--vertical incision so he can try and get the cyst out without any problems. My mom passed away in 2000...cancer and just this past year my Dad(cancer), Grandmother and Grandfather passed away. So I have no one on my side anymore...no sisters. I do have 1 brother. My DH and children are great...but it is hard when you have no one to talk to that really understands and is not negative about it. Even though my kids are older....they get scared if too much is said. So I try not to say too much. That is why I like this site....you can get informed, talk about how you are feeling, get advice and support. Thank Heavens!!
Unread 08-08-2008, 08:28 PM
Unwanted advice!

You came to the right place and girl, did you hit it on the nail. Those are the exact same thing she is saying to me. I just want to scream. It is already enough to be nervous and worrisome about going through and we need all the support we can get. I am so so sorry to hear about your loss. You do need all the support you can get. Glad you got your husband and kids. And yes, this website has been God-send. Each day, I read and get encouraged constantly. Then of course, I gotta vent. Thanks Sisters.
Unread 08-08-2008, 08:38 PM
Unwanted advice!

Thanks....and best of luck with your Mother-in-law. As thoughtless as they can be....they do care. We all need to vent at times.....that's how we remain SANE!!

Take Care and Best of Luck

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