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husband is no help husband is no help

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Unread 08-15-2008, 03:35 PM
husband is no help

sorry to vent, but, my dh has not a clue about what i have been through the last 3 weeks. I tried to write a letter this morning explaining how i need his support and encouragement, but this didn't seem to work out the way i planned. i now have uti and he's been out of town all week on business, my surg was july 28th. i have been in pain and he thinks i need to push on through this. he also didn't believe the pain i was in before the surgery.....i am so discouraged.
p.s. 3 girls under 4, it's been a hoot
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Unread 08-15-2008, 04:12 PM
husband is no help

I'm so sorry that your dh isn't being very understanding.....................Men have a hard time understanding what we go through I hope that things will get better for you. Maybe you could leave him with the girls and go to your parents or friends for a couple of days............I'm sure he'd be much more help once he was stuck doing your job for show him how much you do.......well it's a funny thought least thinking of my dh doing it all is funny.............good luck!!
Unread 08-15-2008, 04:36 PM
husband is no help

I am so so sorry. My lavh was the 29th and I could not imagine not having help. Dh had me the first week and than my mom came and she is here until the 22nd and than I am on my own to figure out how to tend to the house and kids.

You just need to put your foot down. Don't do anything, let the house go, just feed you and the girls and call it good. Hang in there. It is going to do you more damage and a longer recovery if you do too much.
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Unread 08-15-2008, 04:41 PM
husband is no help

I am so sorry that your dh has been difficult. Remember in the long run ( esp since you have 2 yng girls) that you need to trust yourself, and look after yourself. Don't feel pressure to 'walk it off' or anything.
My dh tries to help( i think) Part of the time I wonder if he is really passive aggressive and knows if he does a lousy enough job, that I'll try to do it myself..or if he is borderline impared! It has not been an easy post-op week.
Try not to overdue it!! Good bloody luck
Unread 08-15-2008, 05:10 PM
husband is no help

I can certainly understand how your feeling. My dh didn't want to get me any soup from the store the day I got home from the hospital because, "Then I'll have to cook it too!" I think because I only had a TVH and he can't see the stitches he thinks I shouldn't be hurting anymore after a week. My boss was the same way. He thought I was crazy for wanting two weeks off. MEN!

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