People just don't understand | HysterSisters
HysterSisters Hysterectomy Support and Information
Advertising Info HysterSisters Hysterectomy Support Tutorial

Go Back   Hysterectomy HysterSisters > Hysterectomy Support Posts > Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy) is a massive online community with over 475,000 members and over 5 million posts.

Our community is filled with women who have been through the Hysterectomy experience providing both advice and support from our active members and moderators. is located at 111 Peter St, Toronto, Canada, M5V2H1 and is part of the VerticalScope network of websites.

With free registration, you can ask and answer questions in our HYSTERECTOMY forum community, get our FREE BOOKLET, access Hysterectomy Checkpoints and more.

You are not alone. The HysterSisters are here for you. Join us today!
join HysterSisters for hysterectomy resources and support

People just don't understand People just don't understand

Thread Tools
Unread 10-19-2008, 11:07 PM
People just don't understand

I'm so tired of people thinking I'm crazy for having a TAH. I actually had someone at work say do you really need that surgery. I wanted to say "no I just thought what the heck lets take my uterus out I don't need it". She was saying how I'm so young and have so may problems and that she is 50 and doesn't have any. Well congratulations!!! I told her that I needed the surgery if I wanted any chance of a normal life. In a way this surgery is elective but my dr and I both feel that it will help.
Let me go back a little so you understand my history. I got aunt flo at like 11. Horrible cramping, missed school frequently when she visited. So I was on the pill at like 13. It helped quite a bit still had issues here and there. Fast forward to when I was 24. Abnormal pap, found out I had HPV. Had a LEEP done and it was mild precancer. 9 months later same thing but it came back severe precancer. So far I have had 2 normal paps since. However the 2 LEEPS have left nerves wide open on my cervix. I live in pain quite a bit. Intercourse? What's that? I don't have much of a cervix left anymore and if I was to get pregnant there is a very high risk that I would loose the baby.
So all in all I know I'm very young but I have 2 beautiful girls and as much as it hurts to know that I won't be able to have any more kids I've accepted it.
People are so inconsiderate sometimes. Really how many people would just have a hysterectomy just because? Sorry for such a long post. I really needed to vent!!
Sponsored Links
Unread 10-19-2008, 11:34 PM
People just don't understand

Vent away!! People that have never had problems in that area..will never "get it". But don't let them get to you. Only you know what a struggle it has been living with all of that.

My hyst was sort of elective too. BEST THING I EVER DID! Life is so much better.

Unread 10-20-2008, 03:28 AM
People just don't understand

Yes... it's hard to get thru the pre-op stage without someone being an expert on something they've never had to have done themselves. It is kinda elective in that you have to agree to have it done, but it's a big choice: quality of live versus keeping ones uterus.

I choose life. MY life over my uterus. I just wanna live. Faced with the same prospect, I'd be curious as to what the naysayers would choose.

Keep your chin up sweetie and know that you're doing precisely the right thing FOR YOU.

<big hug>

Sponsored Links
Unread 10-20-2008, 05:51 AM
People just don't understand


That 50 year old better be careful asking stupid quesitons. I was 2 months shy of 57 when they told me I had endometrial cancer. Never had a problem-- 44 years of periods and pap smears. Then one day---bam!!!

So I guess it can happen to anyone at anytime. You have to be a survivor and keep on moving forward, right?

I'm 8 weeks pos op, feeling good and cancer free. Wishing you a speedy recovery after surgery
Unread 10-20-2008, 06:39 AM
People just don't understand

Hang in there. Unless someone has gone through what we ladies have to deal with they don't have a clue. We all know what we have felt like and how bad we all want to live without feeling like crap! All you can do is ignore all the coments. I did and did what was right for me.
Unread 10-20-2008, 08:09 AM
People just don't understand

OMG!! I totally understand you!!!, I am getting the same kind of thing having people tell me about all other kind of options instead of having a TAH and do I really know what I am doing and blah blah blah,, I feel like screaming to them, this is what I want and I am very very happy!!!!!!

I have suffered so much over the years with heavy bleeding and cramping and having to take numerous days off school and work, soaking through pads in less than 2 hours, getting up all hours of the night because I am bleeding so heavy that it is soaking through 3 pads, having towels down on the bed at night.

I went on the pill at 20 to stop the heavy bleeding and was on the pill for almost 18 years. I stopped the pill almost 2 1/2 years ago thinking maybe I could have another child. Well it did not work and my periods have been so bad and so severe since that time. I refuse to go back on the pill and just want this TAH so badly to just end my periods forever!!!!!

This last period in September I had to stay home from work for two full days, I only acrue 1 sick day a month. I was so weak from all the blood loss that for the first day home on Monday, I could not even get out of bed without being dizzy and practically fallling the few feet from the bed to the bathroom.

Although I do not have large fibroids the bleeding and pain is so bad that the Dr. offered the option to me after the D/C she performed on me did not help. I was so happy to have her offer this as an option to me.

My view on this is, take it out!! take it out ASAP!!!!!!

I have some co-workers that were astounded when I told them that I actually had to call in sick for my periods and stay home, one of them just could not fathom how anyone could bleed so much it would make them stay home. This is a woman who maybe has a 2 day period and never soaks an entire pad the whole time on her period. I told her, she was very lucky and has NO IDEA what I am going through.

I'm so happy to be having my TAH, I can't wait till the recovery is over, and I will be PMS free, Period free, Pain free. And very happy to be able to have it so young at only 40yrs old.

Unread 10-20-2008, 08:38 AM
People just don't understand

There is always a smart*** somewhere isn't there?

Hey sister, it's your body and your decision, you stick with it and just blank out the ignorant and know-it all.

I've been very very lucky in that my colleagues have been supportive and really great but I am sure if I were back in the UK I would have had lots of "helpful advice" that I really really didn't want or need.
Unread 10-20-2008, 11:53 AM
People just don't understand

Go ahead and vent! That was a terrible thing for your co-worker to say. Your decision is hard enough without comments like that. Please don't let her (or anyone else) upset you. You have lots of support here!
Good luck and God bless you!
Unread 10-20-2008, 12:08 PM
People just don't understand


As you have already been told, vent away!!! I too started at 11 and went through all the horrible periods. I have also had people tell me I should try something else. But to be honest I joked when I had my last child and my ablation, "Hey, I'm not going to use this thing anymore can we just take it out?" But my docs wanted to try the less invasive approach.

I hope I don't offend anyone.... I am a new Christian. By new I mean I just started going to church a little over 2 years ago. I couldn't believe it when our pastor came up to me on sunday and told me not to have the surgery. (we go to a very small church and they know about my surgery) He said god was going to heal me. I feel horrible but my first thought was gee thanks, and he couldn't do that several years ago? I'm still going through with the surgery.

I can be a smart*** at times. My first thought about your coworker was, wow thanks. I had no idea you went to medical school and knew all about GYN. So tell me, what would you do to treat ____ (whatever)___?

Don't let these people get to you. Keep your chin up and just smile!!

Unread 10-20-2008, 03:06 PM
People just don't understand

I'm a Christian, too, and I can't imagine my pastor telling me not to have a needed surgery because God was going to heal me. We can only pray for healing according to God's will. And God probably will heal you...after surgery. :-)

Our Free Booklet
What 350,000 Women Know About Hysterectomy: Information, helpful hints as you prepare and recover from hysterectomy.
Answers to your questions

Thread Tools

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
From This Forum From Other Forums
6 Replies, Last Reply 08-27-2006, Started By Aesops Frog
27 Replies, Last Reply 05-01-2006, Started By Leapyear4
8 Replies, Last Reply 06-14-2005, Started By dlw0420
3 Replies, Last Reply 06-03-2005, Started By Sthncharm
1 Reply, Last Reply 07-25-2004, Started By newgal
8 Replies, Last Reply 10-13-2003, Started By Dilu
5 Replies, Last Reply 11-27-2002, Started By bighobbes
11 Replies, Last Reply 10-12-2002, Started By smp
4 Replies, Last Reply 09-16-2002, Started By unsure
7 Replies, Last Reply 05-13-2002, Started By pasdechat
59 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)
4 Replies, Endometriosis Support
11 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)
20 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)
22 Replies, The Road Less Traveled
23 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)
23 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)
11 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)
20 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)
8 Replies, The Road Less Traveled


Hysterectomy News

October 31,2020


HysterSisters Takes On Partner To Manage Continued Growth And Longevity
I have news that is wonderful and exciting! This week’s migration wasn’t a typical migration - from one set ... News Archive


Calendar - Hysterectomies - Birthdays

Request Information

I am a HysterSister


Featured Story - All Stories - Share Yours


Your Hysterectomy Date

CUSTOMIZE Your Browsing  

$vbulletin->featuredvideos is not an array!