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feeling unloved and unwanted feeling unloved and unwanted

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Unread 12-23-2008, 05:39 AM
feeling unloved and unwanted

hi im 9wks post op TAH and feeling alittle down i know my DH loves me but i feel he doesnt find me attractive any more,still not got any where near having sex,i have tired to talk to him about this but he finds it hard to talk about these things so i end up not talking,he didnt want to know any details of my op,and the nearest thing to passion is a quick peck,i have tired to start things of but get no feed back.am i the only one to feel rejected??????im really concerned that hes put of by the scar and my swelly belly,plus i have put on weight since the op any advice girls??am i married to the only man that seems to have lost his sex drive after a TAH thought it was meant to be me that it affected??????/
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Unread 12-23-2008, 07:52 AM
feeling unloved and unwanted

It sounds to me like he's nervous. Maybe he's afraid of hurting you? I know that mine was very nervous about that at first. I sat down with my DH and made him listen and talk with me. We decided to go slow and easy and stop if necessary. Everything eventually worked out for us. I hope that it will for you too.

Unread 12-23-2008, 08:30 AM
feeling unloved and unwanted

I agree with Jeanus. That's what I read into it too. He's probably afraid to hurt you. I'm sure he finds you attractive. I don't think men care about scars as much as we think. Its whats on the inside that counts.

Feel better,
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Unread 12-23-2008, 09:23 AM
feeling unloved and unwanted

I know that my guy is very concerned about hurting me (he also knows that I'm concerned it won't be the same) so I know the first time is going to be a huge thing and have no idea how we're going to approach it. We're still about 4 weeks away from approval but don't think we're going to jump back in right away.

I don't know how cuddly you were beforehand but that's the one thing that we've tried to get back to as much as possible as I've been able. You may just have to try to initiate more to get him over his fears (of either doing the deed or hurting you or whateverver). Can you plan something romantic similar to something you used to do before or maybe planning something entirely different and unexpected would be better so less chance of comparison.

Hugs that all goes well and you'll probably see a post from me on this topic in the weeks ahead.
Unread 12-23-2008, 10:36 AM
feeling unloved and unwanted

I agree that he is probably afraid of hurting you & is doing the male avoidance approach. Best wishes.

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