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panic has set in. cant stop thinking my child bearing days are behind me panic has set in. cant stop thinking my child bearing days are behind me

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Unread 01-19-2009, 02:00 PM
panic has set in. cant stop thinking my child bearing days are behind me

Hi guys only 3 days left and I am realy starting to feel panic.sheer panic I have 3 sons aged 14 11 and 8.They were all born by c section.When I had my youngest son I was sterilised at he same time,as I thought that after 3 sections I should call it a day.

I have always been happy with this decision maybe just feeling a little sad that I havent had a little girl.Ive always been grateful for my 3 healthy sons who I love with all my heart.

Despite being sterilised 8 years ago In the back of mind I always thought if I fel l pregnant I would be thrilled.Now I know that with my TAH on thursday all this will gone forever.Rationally I know that the TAH is my only option as I have suffered for years from painful periods and agonising pain.But I cant help feeling so so sad.At 35 I still feel reletiveley young but with this impending op Im feeling old and washed up.Any one else feel like this? I know I should feel very very grateful that I have been blessed with 3 beautiful boys and I do.But I cant help the way I feel.xx
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Unread 01-19-2009, 02:33 PM
panic has set in. cant stop thinking my child bearing days are behind me

(((Hugs))) I am sure it is just anxiety talking. I have always had a fear of getting pregnant after the tubal. I am feeling more relieved that Wednesday I never have to have the fear of getting pregnant. ( I have 3 children also)
Unread 01-19-2009, 02:52 PM
panic has set in. cant stop thinking my child bearing days are behind me

Hi badgersbabe. From other postings I've read on this website, three days seems to be the magic day for the onset of total panic. But that doesn't mean we all freak out over the same things. Even though you made a decision not to have more children, you've been able to have hope until now. A hysterectomy removes that hope from you. There's a finality and a reality to it that can catch us by surprise--even more so, perhaps, for women who have already chosen not to have children in the future.

That doesn't mean that you won't ever have a little girl to love and cherish, though. My mother-in-law had only boys, but now she has a little grand-daughter growing up in the same community where she lives. She not only gets to spend lots of time with this little girl, but since she's the grandma she gets to spoil my niece in a big way, buying her dolls and dresses, letting her eat as many cookies as she wants, hugging her when she's naughty, and so on. The fact that she had only boys makes her relationship with this little girl on the more precious and wonderful.

I'm glad you feel grateful for the children you have. Loving them doesn't mean you can't be sad about what won't happen, too. Try to think about the fact that you will not have periods anymore and that you'll have more energy to be a great mom to these boys as they grow into manhood.

Hang in there!
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Unread 01-19-2009, 05:55 PM
panic has set in. cant stop thinking my child bearing days are behind me

I completely understand where you're coming from. I have 3 daughters ages 13, 11 and 8. My husband had a vasectomy after the last child because my doc a the time wouldn't do tubal ligations. During the past eight years if I were late a tiny part of me was hoping that I was pregnant with a boy ( I was hoping that maybe the vas didn't work i guess). While I love my girls and wouldn't trade them for the world part of me still wanted a boy. As of this Wednesday when I have my TVH I will know that it can never happen. Yes I'm ok with it but there's still a part that's like what if???

I like what CTaylor said about grandbabies. I will not ever have a boy but hopefully I will have son in laws and they will give me grandsons.

Good Luck with your surgery Badgersbabe.
Unread 01-20-2009, 04:50 AM
panic has set in. cant stop thinking my child bearing days are behind me

I do know where you're coming from - I don't think folks always understand why women like us (who have made decisions that would preclude additional pregnancies before our hysterectomies) would feel sorrow over losing a uterus. My girls are 11, 8, and 5, and have come to me in various combinations of birthing and adoption. I thought I had come to terms with the knowledge that no more babies would be coming through the birthing route after I had my ablation (and my husband had a vasectomy). But honestly, I've shed more than a few tears over this hysterectomy... feeling that it's the "end of an era" in a way. It feels kind of like giving away your little ones' baby shoes. It's not like they're wearing them anymore... but it can be kind of emotional to let them go. Probably, some of the tears I've had have been at least partially related to my stress over having a major operation at all. I remember feeling absolutely at my wits' end shortly before surgery - it's really common. I was *so* glad to finally have an IV in and be prepped for surgery (and have some of that calming Versed)! When I woke up the worst was over (personally, I think waiting is the worst), and it's only gotten better since. And truly, I am so glad that I will be healthier now, and won't have the horrible pain and bad bleeding I did before. I've still had some hormonal weirdness and my bad days, but the good days are outnumbering the bad now (finally). I do feel bittersweet about losing my uterus, and wish I could have kept it if it were healthy in many ways, but my excitement over pain free sex and no more periods is a great consolation!
I wish you health and peace. Be well.
Unread 01-20-2009, 05:42 AM
panic has set in. cant stop thinking my child bearing days are behind me

What wonderful wonderful ladies you all are.I suddenley dont feel so alone .To know that you guys all felt the same way that I am now what a great thrill it will be when hope fully in time my boys will grow into handsome men and hope fully make me a grandma to dare i hope a beautiful baby girl who I can lavish with love.Just like I have always wanted to do.You have made me feel at peace.thanyou so much much my hyster
Unread 01-20-2009, 02:30 PM
panic has set in. cant stop thinking my child bearing days are behind me

I felt a little sad at losing my uterus. It gave me four beautiful children, but on the other hand it started causing me more pain than it was worth to keep.

Although we're done at four kids, if the thought of having a 5th ever popped up, we could adopt, so that's a great option and at 35 you're still really young. I'm 38 and yes, I felt the same way you did that I would be a tired old washed up women if I had a hysterectomy, but it's just not true.

My girlfriend had one and she never shared that with me until recently. She's absolutely gorgeous and 10 yrs older than me. She told me I would just love it, no more periods, no more pain, and more energy. Who could ask for more? She had four boys all natural and just recently adopted two more children, a little girl and a little boy. She finally got her girl!

So, there are other options out there for a little girl if you ever decide to go that route.

Good luck to you, you'll be in my prayers and on the other side of this before you know it.

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