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I don't want a fuss from family & friends about my BSO I don't want a fuss from family & friends about my BSO

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  #1  
Unread 03-27-2009, 08:58 AM
I don't want a fuss from family & friends about my BSO

I am having my ovaries removed for suspected cancer on Tuesday. I have only told a very few people about the surgery. I honestly do not want a fuss. I prefer to recover in privacy and use my time in the hospital to sleep and recuperate. My Mom is doing her best to get me worked up, asking when to visit, what to bring and a lot of questions about my surgery that I consider personal. I have prepped my home, stocked my freezer ~ basically have my ducks in a row, not wishing to impose on anyone. My daughter says that I am being hurtful to well meaning people. Anyone else feel the way I do?
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  #2  
Unread 03-27-2009, 10:06 AM
Re: I don't want a fuss from family & friends

I couldn't agree with you more. I just want to get in, get it done, and get out, and move on!!
  #3  
Unread 03-27-2009, 10:08 AM
Re: I don't want a fuss from family & friends

Oh, and best wishes to you..........
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  #4  
Unread 03-27-2009, 10:12 AM
Re: I don't want a fuss from family & friends

Best wishes to you too. You really summed it up in a sentence. I am glad that I am not the only one that feels this way
  #5  
Unread 03-27-2009, 10:12 AM
Re: I don't want a fuss from family & friends

I know exactly how you feel. My DH has 10 sisters and 4 brothers and I told him to tell his family NO visitors on my first day in the hospital. I may wake up and find out I have cancer and I want to deal with it before I have a parade of people in my room. This surgery is very personal. Just let them know you appreciate all their kind thoughts and prayers and that you need peace and quite to heal. If they have a problem with it then it is is just that, THEIR problem, not yours. Good luck to you, I will keep you in my prayers.
  #6  
Unread 03-27-2009, 10:13 AM
Re: I don't want a fuss from family & friends

Thank you for your support. I am feeling better already.
  #7  
Unread 03-27-2009, 10:14 AM
Re: I don't want a fuss from family & friends

I did feel that way, and kept the surgery info to a tight circle of family members. Unfortunately, they didn't keep it to themselves - the grapevine is alive and kicking!!

In retrospect, although I wouldn't have broadcast it far and wide, the emails and cards I received afterward were welcome. There was no fuss, just love. Also, if something had gone awry, my family would have received help if they needed it.
  #8  
Unread 03-27-2009, 10:16 AM
Re: I don't want a fuss from family & friends

I understand how you are feeling. I live alone and prefer it that way. I was however going to need help after the surgery so I had my mother comming to help out. I had her arive the day after the surgery to look after my cats. She stayed a few days after I got home to make sure I could get along on my then went home. Both her and my dad would have driven me nuts if they had been here sooner.

Be honest with your mother and let her know that you love her and know she loves you but that you need your space. Both your mother and daughter sound like they love you alot but are scared for you.

You need to focus on you right now so set what boundries you need.

My best wishes to you.
  #9  
Unread 03-27-2009, 11:59 AM
Re: I don't want a fuss from family & friends

I felt the same way as well. I didn't even tell my closest friends about any of my surgeries. I wanted to recoop home with my DH and kids... I liked the fact that I could rest when i wanted and just lay on the couch in my pjs with my laptop and not have to worry about getting cleaned up or primped to entertain guests..... Good luck too you and best wishes....
  #10  
Unread 03-27-2009, 03:25 PM
Re: I don't want a fuss from family & friends

Hi DanitaFG

Just because well-meaning people feel hurt doesn't mean you're being hurtful. The best way to is to remember that your recovery is about you, not about anyone else.

Although I felt differently than you before my surgery, I didn't want to be around anyone other than my immediate family during my recovery. I hated when people wanted to come to my house, and I even screened phone calls. I returned emails on my own timeframe, and that was about as social as I was willing to be.

If you need to soothe ruffled feathers, do it after you have recovered. Or, if it means that much to your daughter, perhaps she can make arrangements with other family and friends to take you out to lunch with them after a couple weeks. You'll be happy to get out of the house by then, and if you're in a public place it's easier for others to understand why you don't want to talk about personal things.

Remember, you are the princess and you can recover any way you want to.

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