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To Travel Or Not To Travel To Travel Or Not To Travel

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Unread 08-30-2001, 09:30 PM
To Travel Or Not To Travel

Hello everyone, I have a question. First I am 7 days post - op. I had a TVH, kept the overies. I had ademenoris. A few Fibroids. Heavy periods with clots, & lastly painful sex.

Today I had a family member pass away. She is a second cousin. That may sound distant to most of you, but my family is small & we are all very close! Anyway I feel it is a MUST for me to addend the private wake on Sun. 4-6 pm & the rosery later that evening. Also the burial mass the next day followed by dinner with the family at the families home. Something my family does after a funeral.... The problem is my husband totoally disagrees! The whole doings is in a town 1 hour away. Before I even told my husband, I did call my dr. He did say He thought it would be O.K. under theese circustances. Just take it easy. Lay down for the ride, & try to sit as much as possible.. Don't over do it. My father also agrees that I am crazy. I do feel fine. Nothing being taken for pain. I do get tired, I'm not one of these superwomen. I admit that. I havn't even put on regular clothes. I really have no bad complaints now that my bowels are working!

Also, Sat. a group of friends are gathering to watch the LSU vs Tulane football game. I don't care too much if I miss the game, but I would like to go to visit everyone & of course EAT! Our friends live about 1 mile from our house. My husband thinks thats a dumb idea too!!! I would have full reign of the couch or the recliner. Anyone would run me home at anytime if I were tired. I asked the dr. about that too & he said O.K.

The dr.'s origional orders were NO housework at all for 3 weeks, also no car ridding. No driving for 4 weeks. No sex for 6 weeks!!
Very light housework after 3 weeks.

I'm afraid my DH will quit helping out (it's amazing he even is) if I make this little, but important to me, outing.

Please help. Sorry this post is sooo long.

Liz F.
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Unread 08-31-2001, 04:07 AM
To Travel Or Not To Travel

I have to say, that if you do that much in three days - you are looking at a possible big-time set-back. You have only had one week so far towards your recovery, and are looking at many more weeks/months until you are back to normal.

I, personally, would pick one or the other. You have had MAJOR surgery. You need to take it easy!

You are probably right to assume that your DH will slack off on the help if you pretend to be superwoman. He may also get resentful that you did not accept his advice to take it easy.

Keep us posted.
Unread 08-31-2001, 06:14 AM
To Travel Or Not To Travel

Liz - There's no way I would of attempted any of that at 1 week post op. I realize everyone heals differently...but right now you've still got anest. in your system...don't be fooled by this. You've got lots of internal stitches that need to heal...undo pressure on them will cause additional inflammation AND pain and could extend your recovery time.

I have to agree with your dh on this one
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Unread 08-31-2001, 06:33 AM
To Travel Or Not To Travel

I was 7 days post op when I got a call from my sister that my mom found out the mastectomy she had for breast cancer 1 yr ago obviously didn't take care of her cancer because a biopsy found it had spread to her sternum. She lives 45 miles away and needless to say I drove in there to be with her and discuss future plans. I was fine. I don't think I would do the football game and the funeral though. I can understand why you want to go to the funeral but there will be many more football game parties! Don't over do. When you get there, sit around and be waited on. People will understand if they know what you've been through. Good luck and sorry about your cousin! Hang in there. Sometimes I think the emotional things are harder on your body than the physical.
Unread 08-31-2001, 08:25 AM
My Thoughts

I am sorry to hear of your loss. I just wanted to add my thoughts. First remember you have just one chance to heal right. I too have to agree with DH but if you feel you MUST go to the funeral remember sitting is an activity. and after make sure you lay down somewhere and being family I am sure they will understand you need to lay down. My first week I left my couch to go to the toilet and get a ONLY As for the football game surrender and stay home. Doing all of it may be to much. Keep us posted

Unread 08-31-2001, 09:00 PM
To Travel Or Not To Travel

Thank you ladies for your respose. I woke up this AM & was ashamed I even posted the question. It's really a nobrainer. Too much in 3 days. Dot, I never realized about the annest. still being in my system, but I belive it's gone today. This is the first day I have felt SO uncomfortable! I hate my bed! My back hurts, my behind hurts. I'm really not sitting too much. When I'm on the computer, I'm in the recliner. It's laid back with the keyboard in my lap. I really lookgoofy. I wish that I wasn't out of the pain RX. I've been out & was taking 600mg of ibuprofin. I havn't taken anything for the last few days, but the 600mg of ibuprofin just hasn't cut it today. I hate to call the dr. I don't want him to think I'm a "drug-o".

Thanks for listing to me be a whinny baby.

Liz F.
Unread 09-01-2001, 03:47 AM
Pillow Police worked!

Hi Liz,

No need to feel ashamed about your post, just plead temporary brain loss as a result of your surgery! And, it sounds like the pillow knocked some sense into 'ya!

Seriously, if you're still feeling pain, please call your Dr. and ask if he will refill your pain meds. You're still very early in your recovery, and managing your pain will help make your recovery easier.

I'm sorry for the loss of your cousin, please accept my sympathy. When I was 11 days post, my best friend's father passed away. I've known these people my entire life, and although technically not family, they personally feel like family. And my friend has always been a rock of support for me through my family losses (father, mother, brother, aunts, uncles). We also have a close knit family. Anyway, I insisted on going to visit my friend's family when it happened. BUT, they only live about 10 minutes away and understood completely when I only stayed a very short while. Same for the viewing, I attended for a very short time, and didn't go at all to the funeral. They knew I was thinking of them and was there in spirit. I'm sure your family will understand also.

Please take care of yourself. This will allow you to heal properly, and will allow you to offer support to your family down the road a little. I'm sure that your concern and presence will be appreciated in a few more weeks, when the activity of the burial process is over, but the grief is still fresh.
Unread 09-01-2001, 07:44 AM
To Travel Or Not To Travel

Hi Liz,

Though I certainly sympathize on the passing of your dear cousin, I am glad you are realizing that traveling now would be too much. I wanted to raise the point about the car ride. A one-hour car ride could take a lot more out of you than you could imagine. You would feel every bump and turn in the road, and arrive at the event already exhausted.

Anyway, keep resting with feet UP and pamper yourself. Put your thoughts about your cousin in a nice sympathy card and send it in the will mean a lot to them.

My very best to you...

Unread 09-01-2001, 09:00 AM
Dear Liz,

I'd attend the funeral if you are up to it. Take it easy, Don't stand alot, and rest when you can.

I has TAH 16 days ago, and I just had my first dr. appt. yesterday. He told me I can drive now, (the only reason they don't want you to drive is because of your reaction time to stopping fast) I just have to be careful. I'm off all pain meds now also.

As far as houswork, my dr. told me to hire a housekeeper!!! We'll see about that. He said not to do housework for 2 months. He means bending over, vacuming, lifting stuff etc.

He told me I could fly out to California to visit a friend in 2 weeks. I'm going to and I'm also going to relax and rest out there. I will not be excercising anytime soon, except for my daily walking which is the best for us anyway. I try to walk further each day. I lost 8 poounds since surgery, and intend to keep that off plus lose more. No more goodies.

I wish you well Liz and please don't overdo it. But, I think you would regret it if you don't go to your cousins funeral. God bless you with your recovery!!!!

Connie Jean
Unread 09-01-2001, 10:07 AM
To Travel Or Not To Travel

The day of my surgery my father in law died. His visitation and burial wasn't until a week later (because he was out of state at the time and it took awhile to get his body back here)... anyway;
as much as I wanted to be there for my husband and his family.. there was just no way...
I also still had a catheter in... It was only a 40 minute drive away... but I could not attempt it.

Everyone was very understanding. and I am sure your family will be too... they don't need to worry about you too at this time... and they will be if you attempt too much.

It doens't help the emotional state ... it was a difficult first two weeks for me due to this, and the other problems I had with the catheter and infections.

Surround your family in love and prayers... and try to do what is best for you too.

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