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Friends and family don't understand Friends and family don't understand

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Unread 06-01-2009, 05:47 PM
Friends and family don't understand

I am so tired of people saying things like...

Shouldn't you be fine by now?

I never had swelly belly

I was doing the dishes, coooking and taking care of the kids three days after my hyster.

My friend was fine after her hysterectomy

I need a great comeback to these comments!!

I actually have a friend that said she got out of bed in the recovery room after a TAH.
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Unread 06-01-2009, 06:01 PM
Re: Help me with a great comeback...

From Dana Carvey's infamous SNL Church Lady:

"Well, isn't that special?"

Works well for almost any insensitive remark from those who have never walked in your shoes! I only wish I could raise one eyebrow like he did when he said it!
Unread 06-01-2009, 06:35 PM
Re: Help me with a great comeback...

Hi buddy12!

I would probably reply with something like, "I'm surprised to hear you're disappointed in my recovery progress, because my doctor tells me I'm doing great!" Most people, even moronic ones, don't tend to "argue" with a doctor's evaluation.

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Unread 06-01-2009, 07:01 PM
Re: Help me with a great comeback...

I acutally lke that "isn't that special" comment, I bet it does work!

I'd have to ask the friend who claimed to get out of bed in the recovery room, I don't know.....I'd probably have to tell her I just didn't believe that.
Unread 06-01-2009, 07:14 PM
Re: Help me with a great comeback...

Originally Posted by buddy12 View Post
I am so tired of people saying things like...
You all are way nicer than I am. I wouldn't even honor any of those comments with a response. I'm fortunate to doing really, really well 6 days post-op but I consider each day a blessing and know that I'm not of out the woods. I don't want to have anyone around me who isn't supportive; I'm not going to spend my energy trying to make them understand. They can either support me--or not!
Unread 06-01-2009, 07:19 PM
Re: Help me with a great comeback...

My MIL asked me if I was enjoying my time off, dancing all day. Both my husband and I were shocked - I stared at the carpet and he stared at her. Neither of us said a word. She stammered - something like "gee you both are in bad moods." We didn't say anything back, just sat there. After a moment, my husband asked her a question about something totally different. Try the shocked silent treatment. We didn't plan it ahead, but it really shut her up. She hasn't made any jokes like that since.
Unread 06-01-2009, 07:21 PM
Re: Help me with a great comeback...

I like Bonnie's comeback also. lol
Carmen's is excellent too. I believe I used that one a few times on my DH when HE thought I should be able to use a mini-rototiller two months after surgery!

I believe my responses to similar remarks, which were few, went something like this:
Well I'm glad that worked for you. Apparently my body works differently. or...
I hope your doctor was aware you were doing all those activities so soon after surgery.

The most effective comeback I used that shut people up was:
Oh that's nice. .... then I just walk away from them.

This too shall really bad gas, but it will pass....
Unread 06-01-2009, 08:07 PM
Re: Help me with a great comeback...

LOL... i love the well isnt that special..
perfect comeback.. basically in a way you need to just make yourself feel better about it.. and know that you are doing the best that you can to heal the first time!!
You do not want to have complications.. people who rush things too much often time end up making it worse with complications..
Do not let people bother you!!
Unread 06-01-2009, 08:13 PM
Re: Help me with a great comeback...

Not to call your friend a liar but I have seen over 100 of these done and NONE, I repeat NONE of the women got up and walked while still in post op!! And that goes across the board for method they used for removal, type of anesthesia used, etc..... EVER
Unread 06-01-2009, 10:06 PM
Re: Help me with a great comeback...

Every single one of us has had a completely different procedure because we are all different...the DNA and uniquely designed body parts alone makes every surgery unique much less illness, doctor, antestesiologist and medications and equipment and lead different lives.

I don't know about you, but a Dr. did my surgery not the fairy godmother~ and women that make these comments didn't get it if they had a hysterectomy and they obviously forgot to get their testosterone checked, there is no competition in Hysterectomy!! Or they are completely ignorant and should not even be acknowledged.

As for the MIL that made the dancing comment, just tell her we were until you came in, could you please leave until we call you!

Check out Dr. Christiane Northrup on YouTube, she does a special that talks about emotions that surface and how to work with them.; 1 dr. northrup is what you can look up for a little lift.

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