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Why are some people so stupid! Why are some people so stupid!

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  #1  
Unread 09-02-2001, 10:12 PM
Why are some people so stupid!

I had a TAH on July 9th 2001, this surgery was harder than my 2 c-sections. My aunt told me she doesn't know why i was in so pain for the first 2 weeks, because she knows a few women who felt better in 2 days. She said this at a family get together today, and she also said she had the same cut and didn't feel like i did, and she also had to tell me that my tummy looks bloated too. She made me feel awful, i did have a rough 2 weeks after surgery, but i don't think i was a baby about it. And the cut she had was to remove endo, nothing like a hysterectomy. It just burns me when people act like they know everything!!!!
Angela
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  #2  
Unread 09-02-2001, 10:34 PM
Why are some people so stupid!

Angela:

I'm sorry to hear you had a tough day. Sometimes people can only diminish others so that they feel bigger. I think that's what you got today. Not so much in response to what your experience has been, but more a sign of what your aunt needs to feel she is. Does that make sense? I know some "I don't know why so and so is having such a hard time -- that was a breeze for me" people.

This attitude implies that the speaker is better/stronger than some one else. These people usually also have very little patience with less than perfection. (One thing to remember is that they are hardest on themselves.) Let it go. It's not worth wasting your energy on this kind of person.

To encourage you, what we have been through is tough. Don't let anyone minimize that. Also, you know your body. Don't let some one else's attitude make you push yourself farther/faster than you know you can handle.

I believe that we are all individual and different and Thank God for that fact!! Anything else would be quite un-nerving!!

Wishing you a peaceful day tomorrow.
  #3  
Unread 09-02-2001, 10:43 PM
Why are some people so stupid!

I'm trying to think of the Malvolio quote in 12th Night and paraphrase it -- the one about greatness -- like some people are born stupid, some people have stupidity thrust upon them -- ignore the jerks!

Yeah, I know it's hard, but there's really no choice...

Take care!
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  #4  
Unread 09-03-2001, 04:43 AM
Why are some people so stupid!

's Angela! It really can be so unnerving when people, especially family, make such comments.

You know that you have had major surgery and you know how long recovery can take. Swelly belly likes to make an appearance to let us know that we may be overdoing it. I think that most of the time when people make negative comments, it's because they truly don't know what they're talking about.

I was very fortunate that my family and close friends were very supportive of me, but I think a lot of that support came from me preparing them. Heck...I didn't know what recovery would be like until I found this site and started reading! Fairly early in my recovery I attended a viewing, and twice heard "Oh, I had a C-section...and Oh, I had my appendix out, so I know exactly how you feel, you'll be better in no time". I don't think so!! But the best thing for me was to just smile and let it go.

I know it's difficult, but try and let it go. It's not worth getting upset about. Now, continue to take care of the !!
  #5  
Unread 09-03-2001, 06:58 AM
Why are some people so stupid!

'S

HOPE YOUR EMONITALY FEELING BETTER TODAY.AS YOU ARE THE MOST INPORTANT PERSON IN THE WORLD TO YOU EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN WAYS OF DEALING WITH THINGS AND EVERYONE FEELS DIFFERENT THINGS.AS YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW FROM READING ON THIS SITE EVERYONE HAS DIFFERT PROBLEMS WITH THERE RECOVERY.EXAMPLE;I HAVE NOT HAD ONE PAIN MEDICATION FROM DAY ONE THREW NOW.DOES NOT MEAN I DON'T GET PAIN BUT I'M SCARED OF MEDICATIONS FOR PAIN.BUT I'M DOING GOOD 2 1/2 WEEKS POST OP.SO TAKE CARE OF YOU AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHERS SAY.
  #6  
Unread 09-03-2001, 08:41 AM
Why are some people so stupid!

Hi there.. I had a TVH on June 19 . All I heard From my mother in law was I had my surgery came home and started cleaning house.Iasked my mother about her surgery.She said that back years ago they kept you in the hospital two weeks before letting you go home..So in this day in time we have to come home and let family take care of us.They had nurses to look after them..So next time ask them how long ago it was there surgery. Many hugs to you and remember we all heal different . Iam still having problems and got to have a LAP done next week..I tried to be strong just from what others around me said and set my recovery back...So you rest and take care...
  #7  
Unread 09-03-2001, 11:17 AM
Why are some people so stupid!

You just have to try and ignore people like that. I have had more than one person say to me that they had a c section and it's the same thing. I should be "up and at em" in a week or two! I think people say things like that to try and make themselves look like superwoman! Just listen to your own body and take your time. Do what it tells you.
  #8  
Unread 09-03-2001, 11:27 AM
Oh Golly

Don't we ALL have a relative or "friend" like that?!!!! It's the same thing as "Why, when I was YOUR age, I had to walk 2 miles to school, barefoot, in the snow!!!!" Bull cookies!!!!

You take your sweet time and take care of yourself! I'm five days post-op and I feel like I've been crushed by an elephant.

I think your auntie's memory may be a little dim -- or she has other issues. PLEASE don't take her comments to heart!

(By the way, MY tummy is still swollen, too!)
Love to you!
  #9  
Unread 09-03-2001, 12:14 PM
swelly belly

Tell your aunt it is normal for a belly to be very swollen for a couple months, and then it slowly goes down over the next 6 months or so. There was so much cutting and stitching inside of you, for all the ligaments and blood vessels, that the trauma causes lots of swelling. (Just because the scar is the same as a C-section, it doesn't mean the work done inside was the same!) You can't hurry up getting rid of swelling. If you try to exercise too soon, the swelling gets worse. Some ladies still get a little swelling after strenuous activity, a year after their hyst. So put your feet up and let your body heal--you're a princess after all!
Best wishes!
Ruthie
  #10  
Unread 09-03-2001, 12:37 PM
Why are some people so stupid!

Hi AngelWings & All...

Maybe your Auntie DID have a much easier time with her surgery...all of us Princesses heal differently...and all of our punctures are totally unique...since they are done on one-of-a-kind & unique bodies! Poo-Poo on her for bringing up her unusual success...at a time when you are feeling down!

Another thing...I had an emergency c-section to deliver my twins 13 1/2 years ago. I had that mentality that I could breeze through this...it was the "same thing"...add 13+ years of modern tech advancements...no problemo, right? WRONG!!!! In my opinion (now!) a c-section is more of a "natural" process...your body has had prep time to get ready for any emergencies and they ARE removing an object that was NOT intended to stay there...only temporary lodging! Whereas with a hyst...we were designed with these organs...and it is a major trauma to our bodies to have them yanked out! (Have you seen the procedure done? They REALLY yank around a LOT!)

You are doing fine sweetie...and when anyone else brings you down...hop on over to Hyster Sisters for a BIG !!!!! BTW...I have swelly belly WORSE than from any of my pregnancies...even my twin one!
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