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Oh boy, has this week this week blown! Oh boy, has this week this week blown!

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  #1  
Unread 07-03-2009, 11:27 PM
Oh boy, has this week this week blown!

I hope I can get all this down without it going on and on, so...

I'm now eight weeks post-op and the physical recovery has been great, physically speaking.

The struggle has been with the emotions...I chalked them up to the hormonal swings -- I kept my ovaries and think they've been back and forth between asleep and working overtime.

Okay...I just typed four long paragraphs that were "Oh, woe is me!" but I deleted them, because I've seen what some of you all have had to endure and you're all so brave...So I'll just cut to the chase:

In the past six months I have had a friend and a relative die, had a year-long job that I was very attached to end, said good-bye to several friends who left the area, and had a hysterectomy. I was working straight up to the day before surgery, so I don't think I even took the time to really think about it.

I've also plowed through my savings to pay for a class I'm taking this month in NYC (I leave tomorrow and come back in August) and the cost of the surgery.

I think having something to keep my mind occupied for the month will be a good thing, but the class is intense and I feel drained. I felt hopeless last night. Hopeless scares me. I felt much better after speaking to my Spiritual Advisor today...but I'm still drained and worried. I'm trying my best to trust that something terrific is waiting for me when I come back in August.

I'm not sure if it helped me to get that off my chest or not. Oh well...As always I love this board and thank you all for the support.
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  #2  
Unread 07-03-2009, 11:38 PM
Re: Oh boy, has this week this week blown!

Oh Bellakat!!
I am so sorry for how you are feeling!! Yes, others may have endured a lot physically, but don't let that convince you that what you are feeling is not as important or real...it's real to you and that's what matters!!
Not sure your whole situation but I will offer this....I am glad that you will have some sort of diversion, at least temporarily, but don't let that stop you from dealing with this. It's a lot to deal with and everyone mourns differently...and it's okay to mourn, no matter what stage of life you are in. Also not sure where you are spiritually, but I can tell you that without Jesus in my life I wouldn't make it!! That's a daily 'wouldn't make it' cause I need Him every day, not just through this surgery=) I will pray for you my dear that you will rest, that you will not be anxious and that you will just be still and hear from Him.
Hope your trip is wonderful, even though it will be long and strenuous. Dont' forget to take time to rest still.
Have a fabulous 4th!! God bless-
  #3  
Unread 07-04-2009, 12:00 AM
Re: Oh boy, has this week this week blown!

Debbie -

I can't tell you what your kind words mean to me. I'm kind of realizing that I've put off mourning a lot of things and it's catching up to me...

You're right, we do have a different kind of spirituality, but it's similar. I lost my contact with my Higher Power over the past couple of weeks (but not him with me, I know.) That would explain the incredible sense of loneliness I've been feeling. I realized it this morning. I'm working on it and I'm finding that sense of comfort again.

In the meantime, I'm praying that some of this is hormonal and will pass...but I know I have some work to do at any rate.

I am so grateful to you for your thoughts and may God bless you as well!
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