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gone off husband? gone off husband?

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Unread 07-14-2009, 02:09 PM
gone off husband?

I am going to be horrid now. I am 7 weeks yesterday and hubby has been off looking after me up to yesterday. He has been brilliant and we have laughed together and talked together as he normally works shifts and we hardly see each other normally so I have enjoyed being with him these last weeks. BUT, the last few days I just want to shout at him. Today I lost the plot with him and told him he was scruffy, won't buy any nice new clothes, doesn't make an effort to be smart etc.etc. He went out to work this afternoon and I have spoken to him about an hour ago and we were fine without any appologies. I think it is my hormones as I am going through surgical menopause and am taking HRT. Is this normal? I have been very vicious when he has been so lovely to me over the last 7 weeks. Now I am getting weepy about it. Does anyone else fel like this?
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Unread 07-14-2009, 02:18 PM
Re: gone off husband?

Oh, honey! It sure sounds like hormones! Call him, talk to him, write him, email him and tell him how sorry you are and that you are not feeling like yourself because of the hormones. Let him know how much you love how he has taken care of you so far.

Things will set you of easier for a little while. If you say something you don't mean, straighten it out as soon as you can and you and the person you snapped at will feel better.

As for the weepiness, you will have some of that. It's OK. It will go too eventually.
Unread 07-14-2009, 02:22 PM
Re: gone off husband?

Hi Beelvue,
I'm so sorry. I think it's very very natural. Some of it is 'separation'. Just before he goes back to work, you pick a fight and start being 'sick of him' to make the transition to his back to work easier. It sounds mad, but human beings do this ALL THE TIME. I have a friend whose DH is in the military, and he's off on a ship for months, then comes home FULL TIME and then leaves again. Always just before he leaves again, she feels fed up with him and almost can't wait for him to be gone - it then it's 'done' and you don't have to fret about it. She feels awful that she's typically horrid to him just before he goes away for a couple of months, but I do think it's a bit of human nature.
hmmm what do you think?
It sounds like he's been lovely to you - great guy. Hormones possibly playing a role as well, but this does sound typical to me (if not entirely rational - we're only human!)
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Unread 07-14-2009, 02:34 PM
Re: gone off husband?

I have felt ok over the weekend though, as I went with my son to Dublin to see Springsteen and had a great time. Had a really bad week last week as I have pluerisy since week gone Friday. Didn't feel well enough to go on last Thursday, desperate to go on the Friday, happy to see hubby at airport when he picked us up yesterday morning, today I hate him. Plus I have decided my house is filthy and this morning I have gone round manic polishing, vacumming and everything and he didn't dare tell me to stop. I am suffering now with hot feelings inside tummy and horrible back pain. God, if this was someone elses reply I would say it is obvious the hormones. Plus, when I got back yesterday, he told me that my best friends dad had died on Saturday (anyone who has read my threads and inputs will know that hers was the wedding I went to as bridesmaid 2 weeks after surgery). They all decided not to tell me until I got back incase it spoilt my weekend! God, how nice is that. I am such a *****
Unread 07-14-2009, 03:35 PM
Re: gone off husband?

Hi B - so glad you enjoyed the concert, but sorry you're back to 'hating' DH today. I'm sure the not being able to clean for yourself for so long also affects residual anger at partner for not doing a better job of cleaning (I think there's a lot of that on here!). I am so sorry to hear about your friend's dad. Thinking of you.
xx cleo
Unread 07-14-2009, 05:25 PM
Re: gone off husband?

Oh Honey, sounds like the hormone roller coaster has you strapped in! I was lucky enough to keep my ovaries, but that didn't mean I was free and clear of those dreaded hormones, and their nasty side effects. Many women have had issues with hormones post-op, and one of the things they all say is to become best friends with your doctor, as it can be necessary to jiggle the hormones around a bit before you find what works for you. In the mean time, if you know that you are "hating" your hubby, but are having a hard time apologizing, try to do something nice for him. Bake him his special sweets, or cook up his favourite meal (something simple though, as you are still recovering), and let him know that you are glad that he was willing to help out as much as he did, and although your road to recovery is getting shorter, there still may be some bumpy spots to ride over before things get back to your new "normal". Maybe that will help him understand, and help you not feel guilty??!
Unread 07-14-2009, 07:01 PM
Re: gone off husband?

well, I had my surgery about the same time you did.. Sunday was the worst day yet.. I was so grouch and yelled and was so mad.. I could not stop crying all day long..
that went on all day.. everything, even tv commercials and shows made me cry..
then next day i felt better.
I think that part of it was hormones.. even though I have one ovary, I do not think that my body has adjusted yet..
and part of it was frustration trying to start work from home.
anyway..sister.. I think that it is normal..
Unread 07-15-2009, 02:53 AM
Re: gone off husband?

Thanks for support, I will have a good day today! Going to hairdressers so that will make me feel better anyway. Only downside is that I can not move after the blitz on the house yesterday. Serves me right! LOL
Unread 07-15-2009, 04:53 AM
Re: gone off husband?

Interesting thread.
I'm at the "EVERYONE is driving me crazy" point on the rollercoaster. Before surgery, at least I could look to my period as the point in which the "relief" to my crazies would come.
I think I'm going to have to start keeping my symptoms on a calendar or something. That way I can warn my family like I used to do. That way they can duck and cover!

Unread 07-15-2009, 05:33 AM
Re: gone off husband?

cleo, I think you have hit the nail on the head re. cleaning!

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