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Friends and family ignoring me? Can anyone relate? Friends and family ignoring me? Can anyone relate?

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  #1  
Unread 08-29-2009, 07:18 PM
Friends and family ignoring me? Can anyone relate?

Today has been a pity party day. I'm almost 3 wks post-op and today I feel like crying. I feel my grown children have abandoned me. They visited me in the hospital, but failed to call or come by when I was home. Then my friends or co-workers never call or came by either. Do I have something contaigus(sp) ? I am allowed to drive but today for some reason, I stayed at home. When I try to call my friends, they don't answer. Anybody going through the same things I am?
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  #2  
Unread 08-30-2009, 05:04 AM
Re: Friends and family ignoring me? Can anyone relate?

acts1614

Bless you ~ I'm so sorry you're experiencing this but, sadly, you'll find you're not alone and I hope others will be along very soon to share.

Unfortunately, there are people who just don't know what to do or say. Just concentrate on (((you))) for now and your recovery ~ that's the most important thing. Keep your head held high and, when you're feeling better, you can pick and choose who your friends are.

Who knows, you may just find that everyone will get in touch all at once!

Sending all good wishes and positive thoughts your way as you continue to heal.

  #3  
Unread 08-30-2009, 06:02 AM
Re: Friends and family ignoring me? Can anyone relate?

I know what you mean. The first two weeks people were fairly attentive and, even though they didn't come to see me, they'd call and see if I was OK, needed anything.

Once I got the go-ahead to drive from my doc, they all assumed I was fine to fend for myself. Never mind that driving hurt (my car is stick shift & clutch) or that I still couldn't lift over 10 lbs or walk that well. They didn't call - I had to call them - and I hadn't seen a soul until I went back to work.

Everyone has a life and they're very busy living it and if you're out of sight for the moment, you're out of mind. I know I've learned that if I ever have a friend go through something like this, I will make every effort to be there for her and not let her feel ignored or alone like this.

Just try to concentrate on you and getting better so you can be out and part of the world again.

Hugs...
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  #4  
Unread 08-30-2009, 06:42 AM
Re: Friends and family ignoring me? Can anyone relate?

I'm sorry you are going through this. Sometimes I think that people think that a hysterectomy is minor since it is done so much these days. When they call and you say you are recovering, they figure that is it. Unless you've experienced it, you have no idea.

My stepdaughter had a caesarian birth and I didn't realize what it was like until I had my abdomen cut open.

I wish you a speedy recovery. Pamper yourself.
  #5  
Unread 08-30-2009, 07:26 AM
Re: Friends and family ignoring me? Can anyone relate?

I too felt abandoned by friends. Before surgery all had said how much they would do to help me out. Only a couple followed through. I have family members who never called me once during my recovery. It's easy to have pity parties over it all. But then there's the few that went above and beyond and for them I am grateful. One grown daughter was there in the hospital and then came to help me once DH needed to go back to work. The other had just started a new job--I understood--but then she waited till like 3 weeks post op to visit. But she easily freaks out about health issues and I think she just couldn't handle what was happening but. . . I'd have been there for her. Like others said--I will be so much better in the future offering support to others going through major surgery having now been there.
  #6  
Unread 08-30-2009, 10:17 AM
Re: Friends and family ignoring me? Can anyone relate?

I felt a little this way too. I never heard from some friends and it made me a sad. Even a get well card would've been nice. Others though really made up for it in the beginning. I got several bouquets of flowers, cards, calls and emails in the first couple weeks. Once everyone knew I was doing well though, the contact faded. As others said, I think people are busy but I also think that this surgery isn't considered a big deal...unless you're the one who's had it
  #7  
Unread 08-30-2009, 11:31 AM
Re: Friends and family ignoring me? Can anyone relate?

I went through the same thing. I didn't even get a single card from my "friends". Then one day I got a basket from a women from my hubby's work that I have met once. She knew what I was going through & knew the basket would make a big difference to me. Funny how someone I barley know understood but none of my friends did. I do think people don't really know what to say or do so they just avoid the situation. Hang in there.
  #8  
Unread 08-30-2009, 02:43 PM
Re: Friends and family ignoring me? Can anyone relate?

Think of it as a blessing in disguise. Now you have a chance to get uninterrupted rest and can concentrate pampering yourself and on your continued healing...!
  #9  
Unread 08-30-2009, 02:50 PM
Re: Friends and family ignoring me? Can anyone relate?

So sorry for what your going threw, i went threw it too. Every one around me thought it was no big deal they cut the stuff out and then you heal in a week or two whats the big deal. no one realized waht actauly happend during and recovery for a hysterectomy. good luck and try to think about healing and not worry about them its you who derserve your attention
heal well
good luck
lisa
  #10  
Unread 08-30-2009, 06:02 PM
Re: Friends and family ignoring me? Can anyone relate?

I can. I haven't even heard from 2 of my grown kids at all. In fact haven't heard a lot from my other family members either. We all live close by each other. Work called to check on me but then said... "Oh while I have u on the phone....."
Some people just do not understand it. But thankfully my BFF has called everyday to check on me.
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