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Thoughts of having my own child Thoughts of having my own child

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Unread 09-01-2009, 04:55 PM
Thoughts of having my own child

Is this happening to anyone else? I keep having these thoughts that I still can one day have my own child. I keep repressing the thoughts and they are not going away. I clearly cannot have my own children. There is nothing. Am I going batty? I want to go counseling but on the otherhand I do not want to spend anymore money on this whole process. I have spent so much money on appointments pertaining to this whole womanly thing.
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Unread 09-01-2009, 05:05 PM
Re: Thoughts of having my own child

Lilyrose -

Unfortunately repressing the thoughts won't make them go away, they will just show up in some other form.

You will have to find some way to deal with and address it. I know I have a counsellor and he has been very important to my emotional recovery and my ability to handle the trauma of my unexpected cancer dx and hysterectomy. Another member says she uses a round of questiong "What do I fear most about...?" and when she answers that she asks "What do I fear most about (whatever her answer was)?" until she feels she has things down to a basic level that she can talk about or emotionally process.

and hoping you find what works for you.

Unread 09-01-2009, 05:15 PM
Re: Thoughts of having my own child

I understand how your feeling! After my hyst last year I was ok, then this year when they took my last ovary out and my hormones went nuts, thats all I think about and dream about. It is driving me batty as well. I don't have a solution but I can sympathize with you...
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Unread 09-02-2009, 11:36 AM
Re: Thoughts of having my own child

I can sympathize also.... I know talking to someone- anyone helps alot! You dont have to go to a counselor. Myabe a mom, sis, hubby, or bestfriend. Or hey, I will talk to you about it.

I seem to forget I have had the surgery and that my soon to be hubby and I are going to have a family of our own. Have grandkids one day....
Im so sorry you are going through this. Hang in there! It has got to get better!

hugs hugs hugs and more hugs
Unread 09-03-2009, 03:05 AM
Re: Thoughts of having my own child

mdgbutterfly - yeah it's like I forget that I had the surgery even though I am still in recovery. And same thing I start day dreaming that one day I'll have my own family, grandkids etc. I don't know why it's hitting me so hard now. I didn't really want kids of my own originally. However, I had been secretly trying since told in 98. I guess I wanted to prove myself and the doctor wrong - that I could have kids. Now that it's gone I am really having thoughts like everyday. It's kind of depressing. I don't think my mom or sister really understand. They just keep telling me that I didn't want my own kids anyways and that I can still adopt. I wonder how long these feelings are going to last.
Unread 09-03-2009, 07:05 AM
Re: Thoughts of having my own child

Lilyrose -

Those feelings may last forever but not at the same frequency or intensity. There will be triggers that cause the feelings to show up, repressing them and not talking about them to someone will only cause them to fester and show up in other ways. This is a process of emtional and physical healing. You did things to help your physical healing so now what are you doing to help your emotional healing. For my emotional issues that were triggered by all this I asked my counsellor "what's the timeline". He's been with me for awhile and said "I knew that question was coming and I can't tell you because everyone is different. In my experience with other patients it can be a year to 18 months where the grieving and emotions aren't as intense. That being said you will have triggers for the rest of your life."


Your emotional hurt is every bit as real as your physical hurt.
Unread 09-03-2009, 05:23 PM
Re: Thoughts of having my own child

Originally Posted by lilyrose3 View Post
I didn't really want kids of my own originally. However, I had been secretly trying since told in 98. .
That is exactly how I feel!! I never really wanted kids too badly until now! I also did try for a while but didn't work....I am sorry your feeling this way, hugs to you.

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