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Alone (kids mentioned. Alone (kids mentioned.

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Unread 09-28-2009, 08:37 PM
Alone (kids mentioned.

Why is it w/my up coming visit to the castle all I want is to be alone and not deal w/anything. When I do all I do is yell. My poor kids. My DH is hiding from me. I am nervous and getting annoyed w/others. My mom is leaving the day of my surgery to go home (she will not be around to help, I am kind of resentful on that). DH is taking off day of surgery and then day after when I am in the hospital. Just found that out and now I find out that he will not beable to stay w/me the whole next week. I was counting on him to. Why can he take the day off when I am not even home. He is sitting watching TV while I am dealing w/the kids and trying to get them to sleep. AHHHH. Thanks for letting me vent. I just want to sit in a corner by myself until I go in. That way I won't lash out at others.
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Unread 09-28-2009, 08:44 PM
Re: Alone (kids mentioned.

Wow I had to double check to make sure I did not write this post as that is exactly how I was before my surgery, I know it is sooo hard waiting honestly think that is the hardest part of this whole process. I did things like took hour long bubble baths with candles and locked the door and once my body and mind were less tense I would go back and be mommy and wife and if that didnt work I would power walk like a mad woman!!! But I did make sure to take an hour or two of JUST ME TIME a day where I could relax or feel sorry for myself or feel whatever I needed to feel and after MY time I would go back out and put my concerns away till my next me time session I know it sounds weird but ya know what it worked for me..
I wish you luck hun I know its not easy but soon it will be over
Unread 09-28-2009, 08:57 PM
Re: Alone (kids mentioned.

Ahem...your question is "Why is it w/my up coming visit to the castle all I want is to be alone and not deal w/anything" are dealing with something!!! Something big!!!! Keep that in mind and be kinder to yourself about how you feel.

For the few months leading up to my surgery, all I could deal with was preparing for surgery. I worked, I lived (I guess) but my mind was always on surgery and possible cancer. My poor DH had to hear every night and day about my fears, my anger, how "I wasn't going to have surgery, darn it!"....on and on. I exercised like a mad woman and focused on me only. I am surprised my DH and DD didn't move out because of abandoment.

But, kids are forgiving, yours will be too. Now, you just be forgiving to yourself!

I really hope you find some good support those first few days home. It's hard to do things for yourself. I needed help getting in and out of bed, going potty, etc. and that was after spending 5 days in the hospital. I didn't see what kind of surgery you are having but I think you should have someone there just in case.

Best wishes to you. Keep on venting and reading. This site is a lifesaver! We will be here for you on the other side.
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Unread 09-28-2009, 09:13 PM
Re: Alone (kids mentioned.

Oh, bless your heart! I can't even put myself in your shoes, since I'm not a mother, but you have my sympathy! I've been whining my poor husband's ears off plus having my times of grumpiness. I finally decided to go out, buy myself a really gorgeous leather-bound journal, and last night I started writing in it. Let me just say that I am not the sort to journal. Just not my thing. I was stunned to realize I filled up like 10 pages in one sitting! It really helped, much to my surprise. So I don't know if it'd help for you, but it doesn't hurt to try? Here's hugs and good vibes at least!
Unread 09-28-2009, 09:53 PM
Re: Alone (kids mentioned.

I am SO there with you. Felt like I was going to explode earlier, literally. I felt so anxious and felt like I was never going to make it through the day but I did. I found myself yelling at DH and kids earlier but then I took a few minutes out to myself and decided that I have to deal with life here at home now and tomorrow night it will be all about me and for the next couple of weeks.

Good luck to you, I will be thinking about you thursday and hoping you have a great recovery.
Unread 09-28-2009, 10:06 PM
Re: Alone (kids mentioned.

I too feel like leave me alone. I posted in another thread I am looking at my trip to the castle like a vacation, noone to bug me.
I have been basically only talking with you ladies and my friend Meg. I ended up yelling at my son tonight over a shirt he is going to wear tomorrow for picture day, when normally it dont bother me. I said sorry after I realized what I did.
Vent away we are here, I am trying to be light hearted and I make jokes when I am stressed
take care hun!
Unread 09-28-2009, 10:17 PM
Re: Alone (kids mentioned.

Yes, I too did lots of apologizing to my kids for being Yelly Mommy before the surgery. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout at you. I'm stressed out right now, I'm nervous about my surgery." Over and over again. I wanted to be alone so I could think about it more, read about it more, try to mentally prepare myself for it more. Plus, I mourned everything. I just wanted to grieve and cry and get it all out.
As you've heard, you are normal!! Normal, normal, normal. We'll getcha through these last couple of days. Just a couple more days and it's going to be over!!!
Unread 09-29-2009, 07:12 AM
Re: Alone (kids mentioned.

It's weird with me. I show so much affection to my dd (13 yrs of age) than I do my dh and ds. The two of them annoy me everyday. I have been really quiet lately. Waking up at 2 in the morning with a racing mind. My dd is so sweet and she is doing things for me without asking if I want them done. She said mommy I'll make sure everything is kept clean and in order while you are recovering. Then she says because no one else will. She's a little lady with those instincts that God gave us women. I am close to having my last visit from Aunt Flo I think this may have something to do with my nastiness towards the men in my life. I don't know but I'm nervous about the surgery.

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