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Emergency hyst after c-section Emergency hyst after c-section

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  #1  
Unread 10-20-2009, 03:24 AM
Emergency hyst after c-section

Hi my name is Sarah . I am 24 I had an emergency hysterectomy after the birth of my first child. It was a big surprise to me. I have never had any problems ever before.
I had to have an emergency c-section and then the doctors couldn't get my utrus to go back to normal so therefor I had to have a blood transfusion. It has been 21/2 years. I have gotten much stronger with the fact that I will never be able to carry another child but some days it's hard very hard. I thank god everyday that I am here to be with my daughter but also ask why me. Why do others that don't want kids have kids and then abort the babies or let child abusers have children and I can't.
I was not marrried to my daughters dad and I don't know who her dad is either so its much more difficult because if i do ever find a guy to marry I won't be able to have his child. Somedays I don't even think about this at all but every once in awahil i hit my low point.
I also would never ever take back not have my daughter. I just look at her and it all goes away, I am here for her.
I was just wondering if anybody on here had a similar story like mine. If so i would love to talk
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  #2  
Unread 10-24-2009, 10:32 PM
Re: Hi all

Dear Sarah:

I am so very sorry you've gone through this. It must have taken you quite a while to get over the shock of having an emergency hysterectomy, and it makes sense that you are still dealing with the emotion of it now.

No matter how much you love your daughter, it doesn't take away the loss that you feel because you are not able to have more children. It is a loss, and sometimes it takes quite a while to grieve. And even when the grieving is done, there may be sadness for a long while--especially when we see other people have the experiences that we yearn to have.

As for getting married, any guy worthy of your love and commitment would be there for you, regardless of whether you can carry a child. You never know. You may meet a man who has children of his own already, and perhaps you can join your families together. There are so many possibilities out there for you, even though it may be hard to see them through the tears.

I'm sending some big hugs for you, and I hope they help just a little. Hug your daughter as much as you need to, and be gentle with yourself.
  #3  
Unread 10-25-2009, 12:44 PM
Re: Hi all

I can certainly sympathize with not understanding why we (those who WANT children) are no longer able to have them...then there's those who have children and mistreat, neglect, or even walk out on them. It infuriates me.

As for future children with a husband goes...are you still able to consider using a surrogate? I know it doesn't compare to carrying the child yourself, but it would still be YOUR child.
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  #4  
Unread 10-26-2009, 03:03 PM
Re: Emergency hyst after c-section

The same thing happened to me. I was 29 and had complete placenta previa. I had to have a c-section and wouldn't stop bleeding as my uterus wouldn't contract. They then discovered a tear in the lower-segment (probably because of the placental attachment) and could not repair it. I nearly died and the only thing that could save my life was to perform an emergency hyst. I was devastated and still am. This was on Sept. 3 of this year. I am thankful to be alive and am so thankful for my son. But I too am embittered by the fact that I wanted a big family and now cna't have one and there are people out there who don't want or abuse their children adn they are granted the gift anyway. Please know you are not alone.
Lotsa hugs,
  #5  
Unread 10-29-2009, 09:25 PM
Re: Emergency hyst after c-section

I always hoped for a large family, but my body only gave me 2 babies. I have a step daughter, so the total is 3 kids. I assure you that I love my step-daughter just as much as I love the children my body carried. Although no more children will come from your body, you might find yourself a stepmother some day, or might consider adoption or foster parenting. Your heart will expand in ways you can't imagine.

I've found the best way for me to deal with the feelings of anger and jealousy toward those women who have kids and neglect them, is to volunteer and help those kids. I help kids who are struggling with reading and writing, something I wouldn't have time for if I was at home with my own babies or managing a large family like I'd planned.

Best wishes to you.
  #6  
Unread 11-02-2009, 03:57 PM
Re: Emergency hyst after c-section

Yes - Im there. C-section followed by a hysterectomy. Soooo grateful to be alive and be a mum. Utterly devastated that I can never be pregnant again.

And its ok to feel sad.... so many well meaning people just 'jolly along' saying things like "well at least you've got one"
Grrrr!!!
  #7  
Unread 11-03-2009, 02:45 AM
Re: Emergency hyst after c-section

Hi Sarah and all...

My name is also Sara and I just had to have an emergency hysterectomy after the birth of my first child on 9/21/09.

I suffered from severe blood loss due to uterine atony and required blood transfusions. I am struggling with so many conflicting feelings as I grieve the loss of any future pregnancies... I go from having feelings of utter happiness as I hold my precious son and feel so lucky to be alive to be with my husband to raise our child.
Then, I feel bitter that I had to have this happen when so many are able to have multiple uncomplicated births, etc. (the "why me" feelings)
It's such a difficult thing to deal with and believe that talking with women that have had this happen too could really help me right now...Finding this site and knowing that I'm not the only one has already provided me comfort...

Sara
  #8  
Unread 11-06-2009, 07:39 AM
Re: Emergency hyst after c-section

Hi Sarah, Im Terra and I have almost the same story as you. I gave birth to my 3rd child by ER c-sec on Oct. 10th and developed heavy bleeding due to a blood condition I didn't know I had. I required 8 blood trafusions before they realized that the bleeding would only stop if the uterus was removed. I was also in complete shock when I woke up. I had no idea what had happened and I was devasted when I found out and still am. I feel all your pain and your grief with future children. I had always pictured myself with a huge family and the finality of knowing I can't have anymore just devastes me.

If you ever want to talk - Id love to relate to someone who had my expereience. Hugs and I hope you find some comfort and peace.

Terra
  #9  
Unread 11-06-2009, 03:15 PM
Re: Emergency hyst after c-section

Hi Ladies- I have a similiar story- On August 12 I had a d and e at 20 weeks after I went into premature labor- this was my 5th pregnancy- I lost another at 16 weeks and one at 9 weeks. I have two girls at home. We were devastate when we knew we were losing this pregnancy- that night after the d and e I went home and almost bleed to death- I went back to the hospital where they did an emergency hysterectomy and I had 11 units of blood- I too discovered I had a blood disorder I did not know I had.
The last two months I have been happy to be alive and be here for my girls but as time goes on I am beginning to grieve for the babies I lost and the ones I can not have. I would love to join this thread and talk about our experiences. Maria
  #10  
Unread 11-06-2009, 03:23 PM
Re: Emergency hyst after c-section

I so feel for everyone here................and its comforting to know that Im not the only one whose feeling utterly wretched.

And to think that I spent years not even really wanting a baby - but now I know I cant have any more its heartbreaking. Why didnt I just have a baby years ago??!

I feel like saying "Right, Im ready to be a mum now and get started"

But nature/fate or whatever has said "Get started? actually... .......you've finished".

I never realised how fragile and precious fertility was until mine was gone

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