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Why is the fear so strong? Why is the fear so strong?

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  #1  
Unread 11-22-2009, 04:07 PM
Why is the fear so strong?

I am terrified of waking up and finding that the pain and discomfort are as bad as i imagine. I had a spleenectomy 20 years ago after an accident and i remember some of the after effects! I think that as I can prepare for this maybe the after will be easier, not a shock as before, I had 3 children under 5 then and recovery was slow. Op booked for dec 1 and will be in hospital for 5-7 days gyne says. Having lap hyst leaving 1 overy I hope, I have fibroids x 8 and 1 size of a melon so I am sure I can only feel better when it's over.
I feel sad that my boss (male) has asked more questions than hubby not sure he realises what a big op this is, although a routine one i know.
I am from the uk and see so many of you only in for 1 day! And I have 5 days booked and 2 more if I want to stay in. I have been sent to a private hosp but under our national health service so no cost to me, for this I am very grateful. Would you stay in for as long as
possible ? Or come out as soon as
possible?
Should I try and get hubby more involved? Silly questions maybe? I can't sleep at night and have lack of concentration in the day, oh I wish it was over today. Thank you for listening to my rant, and thank you for all the great advise posts.
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  #2  
Unread 11-22-2009, 05:35 PM
Re: Why is the fear so strong?

Feeling terrified is completely natural and normal. I had to wait 6 weeks for my surgery, and I was a mess the whole time. I had a lap-assisted vaginal hyst with both ovaries removed, and honestly, all the worrying I did beforehand was by far the worst part of the whole experience. I went home the next day, and the pain was totally manageable. I took pain pills for a week and my abdomen felt very bruised inside for a couple of weeks. The lap incision in my navel was pretty sore, but only if I bumped something against my navel accidentally. The other 2 lap incisions were tiny and never bothered me at all. Sneezing and coughing were painful, and I don't recommend doing any of that :-)
Your husband may be overwhelmed himself, and in your shaky emotional state, you may be hard for him to deal with. I remember feeling that my husband didn't understand and wasn't taking my surgery seriously enough, but he was wonderful afterward. I think if I were you, I would stay in the hospital for as long as possible and let yourself be taken care of. It's very important to rest a lot for the few weeks after your surgery. I understand why you were in shock after your other surgery with 3 little ones at home. It's a good idea to have all your major chores caught up before your surgery, and lay in a supply of simple-to-prepare foods and maybe some books and other quiet activities for you to do as you feel better. If you stay in the hospital for a week, you should be feeling much better by the time you go home - I remember that my second week was a lot better than my first week after surgery.
I wish you the very best of luck with your surgery and I hope your recovery is easy and quick.

Take care,
Linda
LAVH/BSO 10-22-07
  #3  
Unread 11-22-2009, 08:06 PM
Re: Why is the fear so strong?

feeling scared is normal...i had my share of panic attacks...but it's better then i thought it would...the imagination is a "wonderful" thing. I didn't have a base for comparison and let my mind go crazy. Once I had my pre-op with my doc a real since of calm came over me and I was fine (better anyway). My husband has been my rock and was right by my side.

I was in for a day...then home. The surgery pain wasn't as bad as I thought it would be . ( I had a TVH with 15 fibroids).

You will be fine and I hope your recovery is better then you think it's going to be and that you are pain free soon.

Hugs!!
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  #4  
Unread 11-22-2009, 08:28 PM
Re: Why is the fear so strong?

i was so terrified too!!! I thought what if I cant take the pain! I was so nervous that when I got to the prep room I wanted to call the whole thing off, I didnt though. When I woke up there was some pain but it was not to bad, nothing like I thought it would be, I was in a little more pain then I was after giving birth but not to much more. I read all the post about how it wasnt bad after and the wait till surgery was the worst but it was little to no comfort to me, So please try to consider that these wonderful women are telling the truth, It is painful but really its not to bad, the hardest part right after surgery was trying to wake up and get going I was so groggy! but that was the worst part of it. The days to come havent been to bad mostly the gas pain has been the worst but gas-x has helped with that. I have just been taking motrin and tylonl and that has been enough for me, I did take the stronger stuff for the first three day, I am at day 9 and feel pretty good really no pain from the surgery just gas pain is all. So try not keep your self calm, I know its hard to do. The husband thig is just like my hubby, but he really came through for me, I think men dont really get that this is a major surgery till they see you after the surgery all doped up and feeling a little less then great. I know that you will see after the surgery that it wasnt nearly as bad as you thought it would be! good luck to you! big hugs~ Leah
  #5  
Unread 11-22-2009, 10:39 PM
Re: Why is the fear so strong?

I was completely worried too, but the outcome was so good, I could not have expected it. I'm 3 days post op right now after a TVH-BSO and I have NO pain. I have not had any pain medication today at all. I'm not saying this is typical, because I'm sure it's not, but you may recover exceptionally quickly as well. Try not to worry (easier said than done), and just take it a day at a time. Tell your anesthesiologist that your fears are waking up in pain, and hopefully they will give the recovery nurse some Fentanyl to give you for breakthrough pain that Demerol or morphine doesn't conquer. That helped me SO much.
  #6  
Unread 11-23-2009, 09:58 AM
Re: Why is the fear so strong?

  Quote:
Originally Posted by katyadesantis View Post
I am from the uk and see so many of you only in for 1 day! And I have 5 days booked and 2 more if I want to stay in. I have been sent to a private hosp but under our national health service so no cost to me, for this I am very grateful. Would you stay in for as long as
possible ? Or come out as soon as
possible?
Should I try and get hubby more involved? Silly questions maybe? I can't sleep at night and have lack of concentration in the day, oh I wish it was over today. Thank you for listening to my rant, and thank you for all the great advise posts.
I was in the hospital for 3 days (2 nights) and was very ready to go home at that point. I was treated well in the hospital but I felt really good and was getting very antsy to get out of there.

My friend asked me several times what I was so afraid of. She wasn't trying to downplay it but she honestly couldn't understand the overwhelming fear I had. Frankly, I couldn't explain it to her either. I was afraid of every aspect of the surgery. If there's one single thing I know from having the surgery, it's that the worrying was for nothing. The surgery went smoothly and my recovery was wonderful. I honestly enjoyed every minute of my 6 weeks off.

My male boss asked more questions than my husband did too but they have very different personalities. I found that the best thing to help DH get on board was to have him at my pre-op appt. He was able to hear straight from the dr. about the surgery and recovery. He even asked a couple of questions and when we left, he seemed different. He ended up being a real champ thru my recovery. He didn't clean as much as I would've liked but he was my best buddy when it came to hanging out with me.
  #7  
Unread 11-23-2009, 02:03 PM
Re: Why is the fear so strong?

Thank you so much, its such a help knowing that I can log on here anytime day or night and there are women that understand and want to be a shoulder for me to rest on. When my surgery is over I will still pop in here and chat, think I will be here for a long time if I think I can give back some of the kindness and help I have recieved. I week left now.... wish it was tomorrow I think I do anyway lol
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