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How do you get over the shock? How do you get over the shock?

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  #1  
Unread 03-12-2010, 11:54 AM
How do you get over the shock?

Hi everyone, this site has been my lifeline for the past few days. I had a hysterectomy a week ago today because of post menopausal bleeding. The doctor wasn't able to do a biopsy first so I went in to the hysterectomy being afraid of cancer but the doc told me he didn't expect to find it. After the hysterectomy, he said that "eyeballing" it, everything looked fine. Three days ago he called and told me it was cancer. I saw the oncologist day before yesterday. She said its grade 1, stage 1c. I'm scheduled for surgery again on April 5th to see if there is lymph nodes involved.
I just can't get over the shock. I didn't expect this to be my life. I'm terrified, but even more than that - I'm just shocked. Every time I talk about it, I cry. When does the shock go away? Jenn
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  #2  
Unread 03-12-2010, 01:32 PM
Re: How do you get over the shock?

Oh Jenn, I am so so sorry. I too was shocked when I got the call, and like you it was found after surgery. I thought that all I was going to have to do was recover from the surgery. I don't know when the shock goes away because it varies, but for me it was a few days, then I was on to the next thing, which was, what are we going to do about it. It is normal to cry, to be scared, to be shocked. No one wants to hear this news. On the positive side, you are in all likelihood going to survive this -- it's a kind of cancer that is almost never terminal. Take care of yourself, keep posting, let your loved ones support you. I'm sending lots of good thoughts your way, that your lymph nodes will be fine, that you'll feel better, and life will go on. Bless your heart, keep us updated, BIG (((HUGS)))!
  #3  
Unread 03-12-2010, 03:16 PM
Re: How do you get over the shock?

Hi Jenn, I am sure you will find that most people here went through that shocked phase. Personally I went through it after my initial diagnosis and then when I got the post op path report, I just really fell apart.
There were some days I just cried all day.
I feel that the way I finally adjusted to it all, was to have a prognosis.
I was never really given one by any of my doctors. To me knowledge got me past that stage.

FYI, if you have your surgery and the DO find positive nodes AND positive washings, you would end up with the same stage as me and though I had to have treatments, I feel (from all I have read) I have an excellent prognosis now.
Janet
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  #4  
Unread 03-12-2010, 05:51 PM
Re: How do you get over the shock?

Hi, Jenn,

I talked to your gyn/onc yesterday in Alb. at a clinical study appreciation breakfast. She is glad that we have "met". It's amazing how quickly one can get an appointment and surgery from her. My hyst. was put off a week because her grand(mother?) passed away. I'm sure you'll do fine. Even though, like Janet, I went from a low stage to a 3c, we're the exception. Keep us posted, please!

Jan
  #5  
Unread 03-12-2010, 06:15 PM
Re: How do you get over the shock?

Hi Jenn, I had a very similar situation as you. Its really tough to have an operation and then be told you have to have another and on top of that you have cancer. I was so scared and I think it takes a long time not to be scared when you here the word, cancer. The waiting is very hard. Take care of yourself and take it one day at a time. Its been a year since my surgery, I guess it does get better with time and knowledge. Sending you a big hug and a get well soon!
  #6  
Unread 03-12-2010, 06:25 PM
Re: How do you get over the shock?

Jenn, Just read your post about getting your dx over the phone, that's the way I was told- one more thing in common- I think that didn't help with the shock -not the best way in my opinion!
  #7  
Unread 03-12-2010, 06:32 PM
Re: How do you get over the shock?

I didn't have the same diagnosis as you but~~~ Cancer is cancer in any form. I got over the majority of my "shock" by engaging myself in a treatment plan. I focused on getting better and that took alot of my thought processes..........it gets easier my friend. Acceptance is all a part of getting better.
  #8  
Unread 03-12-2010, 07:00 PM
Re: How do you get over the shock?

(((Jenn,))) It takes time to accept that one was struck by the beast and as each circumstance and individual will be different, the amount of time will vary. The shock and fear may lesson as we eventually focus more on the measures being taken to ensure we become and remain cancer-free. You also find yourself in the waiting mode again for the follow-up surgery and this new waiting and anticipating is very hard as you want to know the results which will determine any further treatment, etc.
Pls continue to come here to vent and ask questions. Others have gone the route you are taking - with follow-up surgery, etc. - and are doing well and sometimes just knowing this may help at least a little.
s
  #9  
Unread 03-12-2010, 07:55 PM
Re: How do you get over the shock?

I was notified in an email. What a shock! After my surgery I've since found I need more surgery for staging-----should have been done sooner but that's another story. I'm less shocked now but sometimes its still hard to believe. But its considered very curable. And my mom also had endo ca last yr----in her case, 3c, but she was treated and is doing fine. The shock improves and to me it was helpful talking about it. So far mine is 1b, I'll see after Thur if it still is, so we'll both be post op again. Good luck and see you on the site.
  #10  
Unread 03-12-2010, 10:59 PM
Re: How do you get over the shock?

I'm sorry you're going through this but happy you found this wonderful group of women. I found incredible support here from the beginning.
I was told on the phone after a D&C that I had endo cancer. The original path reports were much worse than what they actually found and I ended up being Stage 1A. All I needed was surgery and no further treatment.
As far as the shock, it will lessen as time goes on. I was a mess when I first heard I had cancer. I sat on my couch for days and cried....I am not a crier and am usually a very strong person. I completely fell apart. I had the surgery and was given an excellent prognosis. But I still struggle with the fact that I had cancer. The fear certainly isn't as intense as it was in the early days, but 2 1/2 years later I still have days when I realize that once you have cancer life is never quite the same. I know how blessed I am and I'm certainly not complaining but my life has changed forever. Every pain immediately makes me think.."oh no! could it have spread? Could it be somewhere else?" It's not rational but it's the way your mind works after you've heard once that you have cancer.
Hang in there! I could never have believed in the beginning that my life would have ever returned to normal. It's a different normal, but I don't think about cancer every minute of every day. But trust me, it does get better.
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