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Am I Making the right choice Am I Making the right choice

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  #1  
Unread 03-24-2010, 01:31 PM
Am I Making the right choice

I am faced with choice of myomectomy or a hysterectomy. My problem is that due to size and the number of fibroids my doctor can't say that I will be able to carry a child full term and with my family history the fibroids are likely to come back. And while a hysterectomy sounds like the best solution I always expected that I would have kids someday.

I am 42 and haven't dated in at least 6yrs. The likelihood of my getting pregnant soon (which is what my doctor suggest if I have the myomectomy) is slim to none. I want to do what's best for my health it's just really hard of letting go of the idea/dream of having a family of my own. I keep thinking what if I meet the man of my dreams and can no longer have children or on the flip side what if I have the fibroids removed and find myself still single in 5yrs and the fibroids have come back and I am faced with this decision again.
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  #2  
Unread 03-24-2010, 02:17 PM
Re: Am I Making the right choice

Its a tough one when bio clock is ticking. Do you have a cutoff time on how late you would still attempt pregnancy? Would you have art insem and be a single mom? EHarmony, etc, to try to meet a man soon? Could you have 2 surgeries? You could have hyst later but couldn't undo it, are you OK at accepting what's done or might you have regrets? How bad would it be if the condition recurred? Guess all I can offer is ideas, but in the end either can be the right decision, its how you look at it. Good luck.
  #3  
Unread 03-24-2010, 02:57 PM
Re: Am I Making the right choice

Hi greyown,
I don't think I had a cutoff time because frankly I expected to have a family by now. Becoming a single parent is not something that I would consciously set out to do and while I would love to meet a guy (even through Eharmony) at this point I am not sure I would be doing it for the right reasons (if that makes sense). I guess I am grieving the loss of what I had expected my life or a portion of it to be.
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  #4  
Unread 03-24-2010, 03:07 PM
Re: Am I Making the right choice

I totally relate to that. Its hard even when a choice is already made. I had no hyst choice so really that made it easier, it was ca so I just had to do it. The questions are just to help you see how you feel, not for me, so I hope they might help your decision. I always thought I'd have kids, but it never worked out, so I know the feeling. Things don't go according to plan. I hope you can find peace in your decision.
  #5  
Unread 03-25-2010, 05:17 AM
Re: Am I Making the right choice

To me you sound like you are not ready for the hysterectomy. What if you met Mr Right tomorrow? Keep your options open.
  #6  
Unread 03-25-2010, 11:50 AM
Re: Am I Making the right choice

Actually my doctor and I are looking into other options like UFE or a myomectomy the only thing with either procedure is pregnancy still may not be possible especially since both my primary and GYN says I should try and attempt pregnancy as soon as I am able (recovery wise).
  #7  
Unread 03-25-2010, 08:49 PM
Re: Am I Making the right choice

I really hope you can find the best answer I am 42 yrs too never had children, even though I tried for 3 yrs, but the fibroids didn't let it happened,so the Dr was very clear he could not assure me if by doing just the myomectomy the heavy bleeding will stop or if I could be able to get pregnant & I was feeling just like you it was a hard decision in my life so I had the Hysterectomy,kept the ovaries. Sister I know I am not offering you any help , it's a debate between common sense & your heart. I wish you the best !Hugs.
  #8  
Unread 03-26-2010, 10:01 AM
Re: Am I Making the right choice

Actually soleil42 you have been a help. Usually these are the types of things I would discuss with my mom but she passed 9 months ago so it helps to be able to talk out what I am feeling.(feels like loss on top of loss)

One thing I have learned through all of this is to pay attention to your body. With my mom being ill I did not go to the doctor like I should have so the heavy bleeding during my cycle, the back and leg pain I thought was just stress. But thinking about the what ifs won't change my situation so being able to share with women who are or have been where I am helps alot.

So thanks for sharing your experience.
  #9  
Unread 03-27-2010, 04:08 PM
Re: Am I Making the right choice

Hi there
I am new to this site. I am 1 week post-op. My situation was very similar to yours except that I'm married.
I'm 42, never had kids. Had a myomectomy 4 years ago, still could not conceive. Never did Invitro. Symptoms were relieved for approx 3 years but came back full force until I finally decided to have the hysterectomy. I've been advised of that option for many many years due to symptoms and no relief from other methods.
I almost changed my mind 5 times leading up to the date. "Maybe I should just have another myomectomy and try again." Maybe we didn't try hard enough" Maybe we should do Invitro"
I finally decided that at this point in my life I WILL be happy no matter what and even if my husband and I don't have a child of our own there are options. I really really wanted one of our own though. I never imagined a life without kids. I wanted like 6 kids! It's amazing just how opposite things turn out sometimes.
I have run the gammat of what if's and why me's.
Then when they were in there they decided the ovaries had to come out too. There was extensive scar tissue from the previous surgery and that along with the endometriosis had everything fused together and neither fallopian tube was open. I knew it was a possibility but my main issue had always been fibroids and endometriosis. Ultrasounds never really brought up any issues with my ovaries. I was surprised to be going into this new phase of my life so soon.
If there is any thing I can do, say or answer for you, please don't hesitate to ask. I've been there and it doesn't seem fair but sometimes you have to think of YOU first and worry about the rest later.
Let me know how things turn out
  #10  
Unread 03-27-2010, 05:09 PM
Re: Am I Making the right choice

I don't mean to try and get your hopes up, but I had two perfectly normal pregnancies with fibroids. The first at age 28, the second at age 40. The second time, they did consider me "high risk" due to my age, but the fibroids were barely mentioned. The largest fibroid was softball-sized at that time, and as you can see by looking at my uterus photos (click on my profile to see my photo gallery) all of my fibroids were on the inside.

My sister also suffered from fibroids and had two normal pregnancies.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that fibroids (in and of themselves) don't necessarily mean you can't have a child. This does not mean that *you* can, but if doctors had told me that I couldn't have children because of fibroids in my 20's, I would have proceeded to prove them wrong twice! You are saying that your docs can't tell you that you could carry a child to full term. That's true of anyone. There are all sorts of situations under which pregnancies don't go full term -- fibroids are just one of them, and only some of the time.

If I had the choice to remove just the fibroids or have a hysterectomy, I'd remove just the fibroids. You can always have a hysterectomy later -- but you can't go back and undo it once it is done.

You will not necessarily need to have a hysterectomy later even if your fibroids come back, because if they do, they may not cause any issues.

to you.
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