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still waiting still waiting

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  #1  
Unread 10-08-2001, 08:05 AM
Still waiting

I'm doing OK, but still super anxious and kind of depressed.

I saw the oncologist three weeks ago and they sent off the specimen from my LEEP to be reanalyzed. They called back last week and said that they got "the same results as the first lab."

I asked her if the margins showed CIN II or CIN III (the LEEP did say CIN III, but I wanted to know what the margins said). She wouldn't tell me. She just kept saying, "It won't make any difference in the way that we treat you." I wanted to hear her say that the margins only showed CIN II, so I could assume that they got all of the CIN III. With my negative mind, since she wouldn't give me an answer, I'm assuming that the margins showed CIN III.

One bit of new information that she gave me was that the margins weren't clear in the ectocervical region (though the path report did say that the CIN extended into the endocervical canal). Again, I took this to be something negative. I figure if the margins aren't clear and it progresses into the endocervical area, this all comes out with a hyst. But if it progresses into the ectocervical region, this is on the outside of the cervix where it can spread to other areas that aren't removed with a hyst.

My next appointment (for a pap and ECC) isn't until Nov. 26th!!! (The Monday after Thanksgiving.) I begged her to move it up just a week or two, but she said that in order to have the most accurate results, they really want to wait the full three months (my LEEP was on Aug. 28th). I am just wondering how I'm going to stay sane until then???? She tried to convince me that if the LEEP specimen didn't show any invasive cancer, it is unlikely that there is any anywhere else and that it is very unlikely that it would progress to that point in three months. I just always think the worst.

Sometimes I wonder why I didn't just let my OB do the hyst. I recently read that for LEEP patients who have unclear margins, the recurrence rate is 39 percent!

One good thing, I have an appointment with a psychiatrist on Friday. Hopefully he can help me snap out of this depression and anxiety. I am trying to start thinking on the positive side.
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  #2  
Unread 10-08-2001, 09:08 AM
still waiting

I know how you are feeling and it isnt fun! I go to a Psychologist every week, it does help alot. Dr. Hottie told me that after a LEEP is done they go back in and burn the area again to control bleeding and sometimes they get it all. You and I have the same thing going on, I think we determined that already, I had my repeats done and today is the day I find out if I am clear or not. Still havent made that call, I too am anxious. :eyes: I always think the worst too, but you need to look at things this way it was all caught in the very beginning stages for both of us and it can be taken care of. We will survive! I have learned over the past 6 months to take your time, take time to really smell the roses, rag weed, molding leaves, hahaha, seriously though, lets be glad we have life. We may not have it the way we want it, but none the less we have it. I am sorry the depression has gotten you, I wish I could take it away for you. Lets go shopping...shopping always makes me feel better! I'll post again in a while, after I get my nerve up to make that call. Big just for you!
  #3  
Unread 10-08-2001, 01:49 PM
still waiting

to you ddouglas. It sure is a worry when those margins keep coming back unclear. I hated that . I know when I had to keep waiting , I nearly went insane. I lived on 'tenderhooks' constantly, all I seemed to do was wait. Wait for this test and wait for that. The constant waiting. But try to take each day as a new one and try to go about your daily business normally and you will find that soon you wont be constantly thinking of it. I agree it is hard, though.

As for the depression, if this is a real bother , why not ask for some mild anti depressant to help get you through this stressful time? I hope all goes well with the psychiatrist.

Don't punish yourself for being anxious, this is a mind boggling thing you are going through. Pamper yourself, be kind to yourself . You deserve it.

And... please dont ever forget we are here for you . 100% of the time. We give good hugs and know what you are going through. Please do take good care and I am sending lots of love your way. x x x x Email me anytime you need to x x
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  #4  
Unread 10-09-2001, 05:38 AM
still waiting

I'm hoping that the psychiatrist will help with your depression. Please know that we are all here for you and want to help you during the wait. It's hard to wait, and it doesn't matter if it is a few days, weeks, or months. The wait is always so hard for everyone! Try to get involved in something that will occupy your mind and let the time go by quickly. Maybe a new craft project that you have always wanted to start.
I wish you the very best and please know that you can come here and vent to us anytime!!
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