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How do I tell my husband? How do I tell my husband?

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Unread 04-27-2010, 02:17 AM
How do I tell my husband?

I really don't know what all to say...
I am barely 29 years old, and my whole life (at least the years I've had a period) my periods have been painful. As I got older and had kids they got worse. To the point where I couldn't get out of bed, and bled like crazy, with golf ball (or larger, recently) sized clots.

I recently found out, I have endometriosis( I know the spelling is wrong sorry) and am waiting on my insurance to okay the surgery to schedule a date.

I haven't told my husband yet that I have to have this done. I'm kinda a little ashamed. He knows my periods are hard on me, but he thinks its just a part of being a woman, and is very supportive of me when that time comes around. But how do I tell him.

We have 3 wonderful children, and I had my tubes tied, but for some reason I feel like I am broken. I had to have c sections for my second and third child (first was premature and small) because my body is too small for giving birth, and although he was supportive, and more worried about mine and the babies health, hen me having a baby the natural way. I still felt like I failed somehow. And now this...

He will find out soon though, because the insurance is through his work. But how do I tell him?

I'm scared out of my mind and other than you guys, my best friend is the only one who knows!
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Unread 04-27-2010, 02:25 AM
Re: How do I tell my husband?

There is nothing to be ashamed of. Your body is causing you pain and you need to get better. You have 3 wonderful children and are blessed. You will still be a wonderful woman even without your uterus. If you had diabetes, or needed an apendectomy would that make you broken? I would explain it to your husband so that he realizes that once you have surgery and are recovered then you can go on with your life without all the pain. I'm sending you good wishes and hope your talk with hubby goes well. Just remember we're all here for you on this website.
Unread 04-27-2010, 06:19 AM
Re: How do I tell my husband?

I think you should tell him really soon. And there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sure he will be very supportive of you and will completely understand. He will probably be happy that you're not going to have to suffer any more with painful periods!!! Good luck.
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Unread 04-27-2010, 06:19 AM
Re: How do I tell my husband? are not is not your fault that your girlie parts are giving you problems....take your husband with you to all of your doctors appointments....that way he can hear and see what all is going on. You have to keep him in the loop.....I was so greatful for my husband being with me every step of the way!!! And my husband loves the fact that I don't have periods anymore!!! Your husband has to have seen all of the pain you have been dealing him. If he has been supportive of you with what you have been going through...he will be there for you with your hyst.
Unread 04-27-2010, 07:44 AM
Re: How do I tell my husband?

Hi - so sorry you are going through this, but hearing how supportive your husband was in the past, you shouldn't be scared! Just tell him. He loves you. I had a total hysterectomy and a bladder sling done 4/16. I FEEL GREAT! My quality of life has improved so greatly...going for my 2-week post-op this Thursday. Can't wait to hear when we can have sex

Don't feel so bad about how other people feel. You need to worry about yourself. My two youngest are 9 and 10 so I didn't have to worry too much. My soon-2-b-husband next year has been very helpful, supportive and loving. I did have a very emotional time during the time, but as I felt better, the emotional stuff subsided also. The worst pain I felt was the gas that they give you during the operation. Afterwards, I had chest pains and thought I was going to die! The inhaler they give you after the hospital and to bring home, DEFINATELY use it. It helps get all the gas out. Good luck and let me know how it went in telling your husband. THINK OF YOURSELF!

Your "sister" - ELLEEL
Unread 04-27-2010, 09:25 AM
Re: How do I tell my husband?

Sweetie. Take a deep breath. This is a physical problem, not a character flaw.

I suggest telling him that you're having real difficulties with your periods, and that you've seen a doctor about it to get some options. If you can't bring yourself to say you and your doctor have decided that a TAH is the way to go, that's fine. Make a consult appointment with your doc and him. Your doc can explain to him exactly what the problem is, and what the solutions might be, up through and including surgery. He or she can also tell hubby what to expect.

You don't have to do this by yourself. And sometimes having a relatively dispassionate explanation given beats our trying to get through a conversation like this without breaking down and feeling all guilty and emotional.

Good luck, hun.
Unread 04-27-2010, 09:29 AM
Re: How do I tell my husband?

I'm sure that your husband will understand and support you once you tell him. Don't be afraid. Endometriosis is beyond anyone's control, and no woman should have to suffer from this debilitating pain!

Take care of yourself and do what's best for you!
Unread 04-27-2010, 11:28 AM
Re: How do I tell my husband?

I have suffered from endo for most of my life. I told my husband about it while we were still dating and he was very supportive. I went to my DR and we decided that a hysterectomy was my best option. I told my husband about it around a week later and he was okay with it. He has been wonderful through everything and when he asked me why I did not tell him about the surger sooner, I just explained to him that I eeded sometime to wrap my head around the idea and to come to terms with it in my own way. I know it will all work out for you guys and things will be better tha ever.
Unread 04-28-2010, 04:44 PM
Re: How do I tell my husband?

Thank you all so much. I am going to tell him tonight. I think that as long as I havent told him it isnt real yet. But I have never kept anything from him in the past and cant keep this from him!
Thank you all for the support. Will let you know how it goes.
Unread 04-28-2010, 06:08 PM
Re: How do I tell my husband?

Stay strong. it will all work out. Hugs and love and prayers. When you get a date for it, let us know.

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