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People so DO NOT understand People so DO NOT understand

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  #1  
Unread 05-05-2010, 03:31 PM
People so DO NOT understand

I am one week post-op and I got an email from a friend today wanting to know if I was back at work yet! Ummmmmmm........................NO! I just had MAJOR surgery!!!! What was she thinking?! What makes this even worse is, guess where she works? An ob-gyn's office! She of all people should know this is NOT a surgery that allows you to go back to work in a week! Do any of you know of anyone who went back that soon? Am I just being a big wimp? I haven't even had my two-week follow-up appointment with my doctor yet!
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  #2  
Unread 05-05-2010, 03:33 PM
Re: People so DO NOT understand

You are not being a wimp, and no people do not understand. I just had this conversation on the phone with a friend. I think if you have a broken leg or something, it's very obvious and no one expects you to do anything. But because you are home and look pretty good, and didn't have something like heart surgery or brain surgery or something, people think of it differently.
  #3  
Unread 05-05-2010, 03:36 PM
Re: People so DO NOT understand

I'm so sorry. I have a friend that is an ER RN. Again, you would think she would "get it" she so doesn't get it and hasn't. She was questioning why I wasn't out of the hospital faster. She told me people have "real problems" and are out of the hospital faster than I was. I feel your pain. I wish I had a good answer for you. Take care of yourself and please just ignore her.
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  #4  
Unread 05-05-2010, 03:39 PM
Re: People so DO NOT understand

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Warriorfan View Post
You are not being a wimp, and no people do not understand. I just had this conversation on the phone with a friend. I think if you have a broken leg or something, it's very obvious and no one expects you to do anything. But because you are home and look pretty good, and didn't have something like heart surgery or brain surgery or something, people think of it differently.
I think you're right. I've found out the ones who really understand are the ones who've gone through it themselves. My DH told me she's probably thinking of gall bladder surgery, which her husband had a couple of years ago. I reminded him where she works! This is not the gall bladder!!!! Maybe I need to pull up my shirt and show her the horrible bruises on my belly! GRRRRRRRRRR!
  #5  
Unread 05-05-2010, 03:41 PM
Re: People so DO NOT understand

  Quote:
Originally Posted by SassySarah76 View Post
I'm so sorry. I have a friend that is an ER RN. Again, you would think she would "get it" she so doesn't get it and hasn't. She was questioning why I wasn't out of the hospital faster. She told me people have "real problems" and are out of the hospital faster than I was. I feel your pain. I wish I had a good answer for you. Take care of yourself and please just ignore her.
I've learned this past week that some people are really insensitive and self-absorbed. Funny how it takes something like this to see that.
  #6  
Unread 05-05-2010, 03:45 PM
Re: People so DO NOT understand

good thing we have a place like this that we can talk and understand eachother. it seems people either think you should be up sooner.. or like my neighbor thinks im' doin way to much @ 7 weeks,,,
i have to admit i did show my neighbor my briused belly when i first came home from the hospital.
  #7  
Unread 05-05-2010, 03:45 PM
Re: People so DO NOT understand

People really do not understand. I went back after LAVH in 2 weeks. I made the mistake of laying out in the sun for a few days before I went back. Believe me it took no effort to go in the yard and lay in a lounge chair. But of course everyone sees me at work with a little tan and think I was on vacation. People have been dumping their problems on me for 3 days starting with the first day. I just had a good cry about it. I am really tired and wish I had stayed out of work longer.
It is best to ignore people when they say things. They really don't get it unless they have been there. I feel for you!
  #8  
Unread 05-05-2010, 03:59 PM
Re: People so DO NOT understand

Yes, people are funny. My best friend offered to feed DH while I was in hospital - he refused as it was not really convenient for him to go all the way into town for a meal, but I thought it was a wonderful offer. When I came home, I asked DH if his daughter had offered to come and feed him or invite him to their place only 10 mins away - he said no, she thought I was only going to be in OVERNIGHT! Would you believe it?????

Thank goodness we have this forum to turn to. Another friend, much older than I am, had a hysterectomy 30 years ago and she said she was up the same day doing exercises and had no pain after the first day. She can't understand my complaining about the incision pain, the gas pains, the pulling feeling when I walk - and she was a nurse!!!! I think she has had a complete mental block of the entire operation. I cannot believe the "no pain" bit. Initially I thought - what is wrong with me that I have all these issues, but reading the posts here, everyone is in the same boat to a more or less extent.
  #9  
Unread 05-05-2010, 04:54 PM
Re: People so DO NOT understand

  Quote:
Originally Posted by SassySarah76 View Post
She told me people have "real problems" and are out of the hospital faster than I was.
OMG. I think I would have decked her!

I just went back to work for half a day this morning for the first time--it's four weeks exactly since the surgery--and I'm pooped and swollen up this evening. I didn't even do much of anything except drive there, take a couple of phone calls and go through e-mails. Even driving and riding in a car are still so uncomfortable. So no, I don't think you're being a wimp!
  #10  
Unread 05-05-2010, 05:34 PM
Re: People so DO NOT understand

i've actually found that my male friends are more supportive of me in my recovery than my female friends... one of my friends kept asking me if i was better yet... i finally told her that i can either tell her the truth or tell her what she seems to want to hear, which was it? she felt bad that she didn't understand enough about a hyst to know how long a recovery could take... now she asks how i'm feeling for the day, not am i better yet... other people who are supportive, i just tell them not to worry about it, that i will heal in my own time and let them know when i'm better... it may seem rude of me, but i don't have time for their insensitivity or healing on their time schedule...
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