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Wow Ladies this place is depressing! Wow Ladies this place is depressing!

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  #101  
Unread 06-14-2010, 10:37 AM
Re: Wow Ladies this place is depressing!

Thanks for the laughs. Am so not looking forward to when my time comes for post-op fun. I am DH's "Helper Monkey. He has limitations from a spinal cord injury. Humor is all that can keep one going some days. When "Helper Monkey" needs a helper monkey I'll need more funny stories from you sisters to add to my few. Please keep 'em coming. He is so slow he is one person I know of who actual can take a long walk on a short pier. Can hardly wait until I have to do the fast shuffle to catch him.
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  #102  
Unread 06-14-2010, 11:00 AM
Re: Wow Ladies this place is depressing!

I'm glad to see this thread resurrected, thanks Hvad end!

If things went well, Crys you should be back from your epic drive to get your two youngest and my guess is that you're exhausted and there will probobly be some challenges getting everyone settled back at home...SO...now is a great time for us to let those funny stories fly again to help you by way of a few laughs!!

Tomorrow is the big five week anniversary since surgery! To my great disappointment, I am not 20 pounds lighter nor looking fabulous in a bikini. If I did wear a bikini, people would assume I'm pregnant because I still have a puffy tummy! Despite what I had assumed would happen, it turns out that surgery did NOT immediately transform me into WonderWoman or anything nearly that sexy or invincible! But there's still hope! I know I'm getting closer because I seriously doubt that WonderWoman ever had to think "crap, I forgot my tampons and pads! But thankfully when I overbleed, it won't show through my black latex!" or "Yes Batman I would gladly help you get the crooks, but I am SOOOO anaemic that I can barely get out of bed today, let alone fly". So in that light, I seriously think that we have all taken a big step forward towards being WonderWomen!

In other words, part of how I am passing the time while still feeling somewhat useless, is to fantasize!! And it's working okay so far!

Wishing you all the best in your recoveries! Hopefully there are some funny stories out there for Crys and the rest of us!
  #103  
Unread 06-14-2010, 11:42 AM
Re: Wow Ladies this place is depressing!

Tomorrow will be 8 weeks since surgery! WOW! 9 weeks! I will admit i do feel much better since surgery...i am alive that is good! I just finished my last antibiotics..and i hope it killed that nasty germ in my belly!!

I will have to confess..of everything i wanted to do with my "Free time" i have just now cleaned out the laundry basket. Yes ladies, it is empty. Threw away all the old mismatched socks and used dryer sheets, found a toy plane in there and returned it to the proper room, found two belts that don't fit anyone anymore and a broken hanger, trashed the hanger and put the belts in the "give away" bag. Even found my swim suit bottoms!!!

Now i have started on the boys' closet. Going through all the clothes that don't fit them anymore. (yes, normally this is done in the spring, but JUNE IS THE NEW SPRING!) Going to need a nap this afternoon!! lol

I agree FIRE, surgery did not transform me into a SUPER SEX KITTEN! I don't even want him to put that "thing" near me for a while longer, but i know soon enough things will be "getting busy" in the bedroom! I have hope that it will be as wonderful as it was before!!

I am going to be returning to work the end of june/first of july if all my tests are negative. I can hear some of them now "do you think you took enough time off, it isn't like you had a baby"...LOL!

and i will respond
I WISH I HAD A BABY!! HAVING A BABY IS A WALK IN THE PARK BUDDY!
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  #104  
Unread 06-18-2010, 02:51 PM
Re: Wow Ladies this place is depressing!

OK I'm back And yes Nikki that epic drive was killer!! I think at one point I told dh I gave up just pull over I wasnt riding all the way back to Tampa lol!! We left around 6pm Friday the 11th and drove from Tampa FL to Fayetteville WV~ 6 states and got home around 3am Sunday and had to be up to be at dh's rheumatology appt Monday morning. They ordered some new meds for him which I hope helps cuz him falling apart just aint cuttin it!!! He can't start them until all his labs come back and we get insurance approval for them since its injections and we have to order them from a specialty pharm. So anyway... here's some entertainment for ya'll~

My super duper long trip was done in sweatpants and little tshirts~ no makeup but I did wear a bra lol I have an Oscar the Grouch shirt that says GROUCHY I had it on during the drive home and I was already feeling pretty darn crappy~ I think it was about 11pm in Savannah GA or around there I went into a gas station and got a drink, walked up to the counter and the dude looks at me and says "wow, your shirt fits, you look so grouchy" Uhhhhhhh.... what did he just say?!?! Thats like asking for death right there! I looked at him and said "Is there writing on your underwear?" and he gave me a puzzled look... I said cuz since our clothes speak the truth I assumed they said little weiner. He didn't look like he got it lol... I paid for my coke and walked out

Another thing my brother was at my grans watching E True Hollywood Story for Dog the Bounty Hunter (who happens to have the same last name as me lol~ wonder if we're realted, thats kinda creepy) Anyway my almost 4 year old is autistic, just got verbal in the last 9 months and he repeats everything... he walks into the kitchen where my grandma was and she asked him if he wanted a drink and he goes "Crack Cocaine and ****, thats all I need" OMG I about died!!! Thats what they had just said on the TV but my grandma looked like she was gonna pass out!!!
  #105  
Unread 06-18-2010, 02:52 PM
Re: Wow Ladies this place is depressing!

Oh and as for the surgery making me super duper sexy... What is sexier than an Oscar the Grouch tee and Victoria's Secret PINK sweat pants???!
  #106  
Unread 06-18-2010, 03:43 PM
Re: Wow Ladies this place is depressing!

Crys...that's hilarious!!!! Love the get back at the gas station.....it's even better when they don't get it! glad you made it back safe.
  #107  
Unread 06-18-2010, 04:04 PM
Re: Wow Ladies this place is depressing!

LOL. So, ok, I laid on a bench in a skirt with a pillow stuffed between my legs in a room full of guys during a conference yesterday, and I actually did pretty much the same thing at a bachelor party last week. I remember saying to several of the guys "This is my first bachelor party," and thinking how weird it was to say that. The hostess (another woman) kept telling the guys we were the entertainment, which I followed with "but we don't strip." Sure appreciated my husband telling them that I had just had surgery and he wasn't letting me out of his sight. Funny to hear these 40- and 50-something guys talking about their kids' college careers and barbeque. One of the guys said this was a typical bachelor party in his experience--who knew? The guitar playing was awesome!

Keep looking for the bright side! We will find our way through this.

Debbie
  #108  
Unread 06-18-2010, 04:27 PM
Re: Wow Ladies this place is depressing!

Today i hope my DH makes it alive till morning. I think he is getting uptight over the "no sex" bit. I can have sex, but lets just say things are not "going in with ease" at this point and all missions have been aborted.

He got really upset with me, why you ask, cuz i gave his parents a jar of sauerkraut. Yes, apparently i broke some rule that i can not give his own parents sauerkraut. I must of missed that in the marriage license.

So in his rage, he told me, well said some terrible things to me. Which i was thinking the entire time what a stupid man he is for saying things and taking such a risk......he even went as far to say "when are you going back to work". (like i have been living it up since surgery)

So, today, this evening...i am not happy..i told him "you are a liar, and you lie to me, i believe nothing you say anymore"...and he left...

seriously, grow up.

sorry for dumping, i know this was suppose to be for fun...
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