Burning Pain at Vulva Opening - WHY??

For whatever reason, I just discovered there is something very different about the pain I experience with intercourse. First let me tell you some background, which may help in your advice.

I'm single, 51 yrs old, 10+ yrs Post Op TAH [took everything!] and up until about 6 years ago, everything sexual was wonderful. For the past 6 years, however, I have not had a man in my life. I have attempted, on a few occasions, to have sex, however, to my shock it was becoming SO painful that I stopped even looking to date. When I have had intercourse, there is no pain deep inside, however, the burning started right away upon insertion and then it was difficult for him to get past the initial inch or so because it feels like there is a bone in the way. Does this make sense or am I crazy?? I'm scared.

I use a vibrator although I have not used it for internal penetration because it's not that kind. Lubrication [vaginal wetness] doesn't seem to be the issue either. As an experiment a few weeks ago, I tried using a small toy [no bigger around than an index finger] to practice insertion and the pain was instant!!! A burning, raw feeling immediately upon contact and that lasted long after I removed the toy. Even more confusing is that this never happens when I've used my own fingers. I'm baffled and upset and literally consumed now by what's going on.

I want my life back and I want to have a loving, sexual relationship again. I'm about in tears over this and just don't know what to do. Any advice anyone could give me would be greatly appreciated!!

Love to all and thank you...

Jennifer

P.S. sorry if I've been too graphic for some of you, however, this is my life and I need help!

Hi Jennifer Sorry to hear you're having this problem. Have you talked with your doctor about it yet? It sounds like you may be dealing with vaginal atrophy. Your doctor can prescribe some vaginal estrogen that, combined with the use of dilators, can make a huge difference. He/she could also recommend pelvic physical therapy if it turns out your vagina is closing involuntarily when penetration is attempted, which can be quite painful as well.

Let us know what your doctor says, OK?

s,
-Linda

Hi Linda Thank you for responding and the advice. The more I read about vaginal atrophy, the more I believe I do have it. I'm going to find a female gyno today and make an appointment. In retrospect, I think I've avoided having a relationship again for this very painful reason and just didn't figure it out until now. Not sure how my recovery will go given I don't have a man in my life to "practice" with to get better, however, that's a question for my doc too. Have you had v.a.? Did you use the dilators and/or have pelvic physical therapy? Are these things that would be covered under insurance as it IS a medical condition that can be treated? Guess those are more questions for the doc, huh? lol

Thanks again.. I appreciate your support and taking the time to write. I will keep you posted on what my doc says.

Jennifer