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Don't know how to handle this Don't know how to handle this

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Unread 10-27-2001, 08:12 AM
Don't know how to handle this

Hello -

I'm new here. My surgery is scheduled for Nov. 20th, which is quickly approaching. I've been working like crazy to get ready for it, despite all the pain that I'm in. Just a day ago, my husband called from work to tell me that a real estate agent wants to show our house to an interested buyer. Our house isn't even on the market, nor were we planning on putting it on the market right now. My husband wants to show the house and sell it if possible because it will help with our finances. He even wants to move us and our two children in with his parents for awhile till we could find a new house. I tried to explain to him that with my upcoming surgery there is no way that I'm going to be able to get the house around for showings, let alone be able to pack and move everything. Our house is a ranch, which is perfect for after the surgery. His parents' house is a two story with the bedrooms all upstairs and everything else on the first floor. And, besides, I don't think that I can really rest well anywhere than my own bedroom.

Am I being absolutely ridiculous about thinking that it's a big mistake to try and do this at the same time as my surgery? I know that I'm a nervous-emotional wreck anyways because of having the surgery (although I do know that it's necessary). I just feel like everything is starting to fall apart around me and all I can do is watch. Along with all of this, I'm also dealing with Severe Clinical Depression and PTSD. Please, any thoughts or advice would be Very welcome right now.

Thanks & God Bless!

RobinB (aka: Seraya)
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Unread 10-27-2001, 12:45 PM
Don't know how to handle this


You are not being unreasonable. Moving is a major upheaval in one's life. This surgery is a major stressor in your life. You should not try to tackle both of these things at the same time.

Why is your husband so anxious now? Why can't it wait 6-8wks? Until you are well on your way to recovery. I can tell you from experience that moving right now would be pure hell on you. 4mnths before my hyst. I was flooding and in severe pain everyday and my Landlord laid the news on me that he was selling the place and we would have to move by the end of the month. I felt completely overwhelmed. Whats more my mother is disabled and lives with me but was unable to help. I did the packing, cleaning and moving (except the furniture) by myself. All the while in agony. Trust me this is NOT something you want to do.
2weeks after I moved into the new place I was taken to the hospital with a pulmonary embolism brought on by the hormones I was taking. I was completely stressed out. Robyn, please, if it is at all possible do not move at this time. Especially when you are already depressed and suffering from PTSD.

This surgery is very complicated on the emotional level. I won't lie and say that this is going to be an easy road for you to take. You will need every bit of your energy to recover after the surgery. I was recently diagnosed with clinical depression and PTSD. I had always considered myself to be a very strong person so it took a lot of convincing on my friends part to guide me to a therapist. It turns out that I have been suffering from these things since I was a child. This surgery dredges up all old heartaches and traumas. Especially if you were a victim of sexual abuse. The emotional baggage that comes with a hyst is hard enough to deal with but add old heartaches which are brought back to life and you have a very large mountain to scale. Please do you best to convince your hubby that this is not going to be easy for you and you need him to be totally devoted to you at this time in your life. Financial worries will be everpresent, you need his absolute support, love and understanding. You can do this Robyn, it sounds as if you have already scaled your fair share of mountains so you know struggle when you see it. It can be done and you are worth it!

Hugs & Prayers,
Unread 11-02-2001, 05:08 PM

How are you doing, sweetie? Any decision yet on selling the house? I sure hope your life settles down and you can concentrate on yourself...getting your nest ready for your return home. I have been praying for you.


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Unread 11-04-2001, 09:02 AM
Don't know how to handle this

Tina & Kaatie,

Thanks for your replies and prayers. I believe that they've helped. We ended up showing our house the day after I'd posted on the board. Everyone could tell that I was upset about it, so it was a bit tense that day. But, I tried hard to do what I've always done before in tough situations - I put it into God's hands. The way I figured it, if I were to move during this time and it was God's will, then He would no doubt provide the resources that I would need to make the move as safe for me as possible. And if it wasn't God's will for us to sell the house, then the house wouldn't sell.

The people who looked through the house did like it, but they have not yet told us whether they wish to place an offer on the house or not. I'm at peace with it, no matter which happens. I wish that I could say the same about having the surgery in a couple weeks. I'm not having second thoughts and am once again trying to place my feelings and thoughts into God's hands. But, as it usually is, it's not an easy thing to do. It does uplift me to know that there are women out there who understand and that I can come to if I need to talk or vent or even cry. I'm so thankful that this site is here. It is a true blessing, just as all who post here are too.

Peace & Blessings!

Unread 11-19-2001, 06:18 AM
Don't know how to handle this

Dear Robin:

Just wanted you to know that you are being prayed for today. I know your surgery it tomorrow and there are many anxious feelings. Relax, I know God will be with you, the way He was with me. It will not be easy... remember, He never gives us more than He knows we can handle. You have many other 'sisters' praying for you and lifting you up!


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