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kids husbands and pets. YIKES kids husbands and pets. YIKES

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  #21  
Unread 11-03-2001, 01:13 PM
ODD for Kat

Kat, I had never heard of ODD until My son was diagnosed with it. We had complete diagnostic studies done three times at the university starting at age 3. It seems oppositional defiance disorder tends to go hand and hand with the ADHD. The psychiatrist prescribed anti-psychotic medications for my son but he had a severe reaction, I thought he was going to die. Behavior modification techniques and patience seem to be our route to take. Do a search on the web looking up ODD and see what comes up, I found lots of information. With ODD, you say right and the kid says left or no. It feels like they are hardwired to do the opposite of what you want. Probably feels like a normal teenager reaction in a very young kid. We tend to focus on postitive behaviors, the negative behaviors blow up like a tornado ripping through your day. Lukas is our only son, at least we do not compare him with milestones for other children on a daily basis. It can be very difficult to be around someone's 2 year old who is better at life all around than your 7 year old. I took a child behavior class at a community college for parents, and I would cry wishing their piddly problems with their normal kids were all we had to contend with. Dropped out of the class, had to tell the class their children were beautiful and to lighten up.
Sorry to babble on, my son is still beautiful in my eyes.
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  #22  
Unread 11-03-2001, 08:02 PM
kids husbands and pets. YIKES

Thanks Sandy, that does help me a little. He is really like that as well. If I tell him to do his homework he will play, or if I tell him to get off the computer he will make sure he stays on. I know that to some people it may be normal but it is a fight with everything we ask of him. The reason I finally quit work was to stay home with him because the summer before he had just gone nuts and no one wanted to take care of him. That and my little one has had problems with his asthma and ends up in the hospital once a year and work doesn't always understands. Of course there is always some one that you talk to that will say "Oh if I had him to take care he won't do that" or " he behaves just fine for me". Then I tell them sure he would for a couple of days and then you would have the same problems. My husband's grandparents found that out. I know that your son has a few more problems and I agree it is hard sometimes to hear a parent complain about little things and wished that is all you had to worry about. My 4 yrs old is a sponge. After working and working with my oldest it amazes me to see how quickly my youngest picks up stuff from ABC's to his colors ect. I try not to compare them because in someways my oldest picked somethings up better then my youngest, like talking. My oldest was caring on a good clear conversation at 2 that my youngest didn't do until he was 4. My youngest just said what he wanted and that was it until he turned 4 now I have to tell him SHHHH my ears hurts. Both my boys are great. I just know that I will turn gray real soon.
  #23  
Unread 11-04-2001, 07:59 AM
Hi everyone

Well the girls and I are having a lazy Sunday Morning. We will get out later as I have to do some light gardening clean up before the snow flies.


Sandy you really put things into perspective for me. I am sorry that you had to leave your parenting class.I hope they listened to you when you gave them such advice. I did. I am lucky that both my children have no learning disabilities. Though the youngest pushes everything to the limit. I guess it would have been to easy to have to quiet ones Your son is really lucky. You are a good mom!!!!!!!!!!!

Shamme you have your hands full to. But it looks like you have it under control. I know what you mean about the bed last week hubby was on nights. When he got off of them he was soooooo tired and he snored and snored and snore all night!
Oh my god I wanted to kill him. he says he does not snore.Yeah right!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gigsi 5 kids !!! Okay you win the prize. I guess all you do is laundry all day!!!!

Tami Hi I see you around all over the place.


Anne and Bornia I hope you are doing alright.

Take care everyone and Happy Parenting. Really there is no job like it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  #24  
Unread 11-05-2001, 12:32 AM
Smile - kids husbands and pets. YIKES Hi moms!!!

Hi everyone,


I am married with 4 kids.I have a 23yr old boy,a 17 yr.old girl,a 13 yr old boy with ODD too,and a 9 yr old girl.I also have a 3 month old grandson.

It is nice to hear that someone else in this world has a child with ODD.I thought I was alone.Any hints on behavior modification please let me know I am at the end of my rope sometimes with him.
I also have 2 poodles and a new chihuahua puppy...ahhh potty training.. I live in southern california and I have met sooo many great people on this site i am now an addict.My family has to fight for time on the computer.I think it is where I can escape the mom thing sometimes and it really does help.My oldest dd is going through her first break up and you know how fun that is.

Well I will stop for now so I wont ramble on and on.
Take care and I hope to read more of these posts!

Thanks,
Kathie

:email: [email protected]
  #25  
Unread 11-05-2001, 07:41 AM
kids husbands and pets. YIKES

Hi Kathie, I too come to this site to escape from the kids!!!!!!Before I had my hyst I could just about switch on the VDU but when DH got me on the net so I could find out info about hysts. I found this site. Since then there has been no looking back, I am now a computer mum! My kids are amazed, - and miffed that they have to wait their turn now `cos Mum`s on the net, -AGAIN!!!!!!Hugs to you all, Gina
  #26  
Unread 11-05-2001, 10:09 AM
kids husbands and pets. YIKES

I am the mother of 2 children: DS is 10.5 yo and has been diagnosed with Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) since he was 5.10 yo and ADHD since he was 7.5 yo. We've also investigated the possibility of Tourette's ever since he was 8 yo. So far, however, the symptoms are not serious enough to warrant diagnosis. Everything is further complicated by the fact that he is also gifted: will not qualify for some services because he excells in class, tends to get bored easily, etc. Life is never boring around him

My DD is almost 6 yo (she turns 6 in December) and is MUCH easier to handle. She has a wonderful sense of humor and is a VERY talented artist. She is also a talented singer and dancer: she's been choreographing dance steps since was a toddler and invents songs at the same rate.

The family is completed by a big, white Tom Cat and my best friend and DH.

We all live in Canada.
  #27  
Unread 11-07-2001, 03:10 PM
Hello

Hi everyone. Hey Dany glad you could join us.

We have been busy. I know who isn't. I have been scrubbing the house and it looks so good. I go back to work on Tuesday so I wanted to get some stuff done that I wouldn't do later. I am feeling very satisfied with my effort. I am disappointed that I have to return to work on Tuesday.Monday is a government holiday now that is the way to return to work! I really wish I could stay home.The girls and myself have benefitted from it so much. But there is no sense in wishing as I have to get my butt there!!!!!!!!:sad: Big sigh!

I saw the thyroid surgeon and I have been scheduled for surgery on January 21st. I could have done it sooner but I did not want to! My body needs to heal from this . Not looking forward to it that is for sure.

Well the girls have just finished their homework and have had a bath. So they are going to watch some T.V and off to bed at 8.

I hope you all have a great evening or morning depending on where you live.

Take care

  #28  
Unread 11-09-2001, 09:41 PM
Kidlets, kidlets, everywhere!

Hi All! Typical Mommie...I gotta get in on the bragging rights!

Wow..Cyd...you must be so proud! I would LOVE to talk more with you about the gifted programs and how they have worked for your DD? Ashleigh has been deemed as "gifted" and I, after much thought and research...kept her out of special programs. Do you think I am holding her talents back??? I felt it was too much pressure...just the tests alone...were a lot on her. Plus...she has a twin...I just saw too much competition there...

My DD Nicole is 16...and she is also ADHD. I did not start medicating her until she was in 5th grade...and that was a very hard and emotional decision fo rme...I was really anti-medication!
BUT...it helped...and we weaned her in the summers...and she completely halted ALL meds by the time she was in 9th grade. She now recognizes her bad habits and nervousness...and deals with them in other ways. I do not agree that kis "outgrow" ADHD or ADD...I think they learn to live with it and control it.

You know...I really have been blessed. I have been a single parent to all four kids...no every other weekend trips to dads, for mine! My ex was a fink..."outta sight, outta mind" mentality. I think it was a struggle in the earlier years...but it then became a blessing! I LOVE Gary (my non live-in SO) to pieces...but I am not so sure I could share parenting with anyone! I have four really great kids...and I mean GRRRREAT!
  #29  
Unread 11-10-2001, 11:50 AM
kids husbands and pets. YIKES

Kat, you must be so proud of yourself and of your crew You know something, I have to agree with you: there are days where I wish I could parent on my own... you know, only one way to do things, instead of two? Then, there are other days, especially when my son is not listening to me (common behavior with ADHDers who do not respond well to female authority) where I am sooooo grateful that there are two of us!!!! Fortunately, DH and I have a WONDERFUL relationship and there are only very few occasions where we disagree. Where parenting is concerned, there are times when we "agree to disagree".

Regarding ADHD: you are absolutely correct. You do not outgrow ADHD. I know: I'm 45 and realized that I, too, have ADHD when I was researching it for my son. My first insight on the matter was: This does not describe MA, it describes ME!!!! My DH, who's almost 48, also has ADHD.

ADHD is a neurological inbalance. You do not outgrow it. You DO learn to control your behavior, though, as you mature. And, the hyperactivity component DOES decrease in the teens.

My son has been medicated since 1 month after he was diagnosed (we tried behavior modifications on their own, but it was useless: couldn't focus long enough to LISTEN). The meds have been a tremendous help. He's soooo affected, we can't take him off ANYTIME: he drives HIMSELF crazy. Hopefully, when he's older (he's now 10), we'll be able to decrease the dosage, maybe even wean him off. We'll see.

BTW, I would do anything to have my son in a Special Ed program. He's also gifted and, along with the APD and the ADHD, it makes it really hard for him to cope in the regular classroom. However, our districts believes in integrating Special Needs children in the regular classroom. In his case, because he more than excells accademically, he doesn't qualify for an attendant in class. Makes it VERY hard on all of us!!!!

I'm always amazed at our different approaches to parenting. And, the wonderful part of it, all of these approaches are right, for US.

Wishing all of you the best of luck with your families
  #30  
Unread 11-10-2001, 08:36 PM
kids husbands and pets. YIKES

Hi Dany & All!

I am not knocking marriage and having someone to share things with...no way! I just meant it would be hard to re-adjust to now...after all this time.

Sometimes I really HATE the special needs qualifications! Dany...I know just how frustrated you must be! It is like they want your child to be doing poorly to get the assistance he not only needs, but deserves! Don't they realize that an assistant would benefit him even greater...and allow him to learn at his fullest potential?!
They are setting limits in children when they say no simply because they are already doing good or "o.k.!" Aaarrrghhh...this is a topic that irks me!

I remember trying to get a stipend or allowance of sorts through Nicoles school district. She had gone from lots of "F's" to mostly C's...so they denied her the allowance. (It was to pay for tutoring and other special needs.) She worked hard as ever...but so did I...and it took a lot of time away from my other children. I tried explaining this...even got to a point where I said, "I COULD easily allow things to go back to how they were...but I WON'T!" It was just a really difficult time...and poor Nikki had everyone resentful of her!
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