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Help with the husband Help with the husband

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Unread 10-21-2010, 12:42 PM
Help with the husband

Hello Ladies. I will be having my hysterecomy on November 30th and trying to get all the information I can. My coworkers told me about this site, and I'm finding it so helpful. The one thing I couldn't find is something to explain to my husband how major this surgery is. Since I've had so many other "procedures" at the hospital, he thinks it just another thing being done to me. I've tried to tell him that I won't be myself for a few weeks, and I will need his help a lot during the first few days. I just don't think it's getting through his thick head. Help anyone?
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Unread 10-21-2010, 12:48 PM
Re: Help with the husband

If I remember correctly, there is a companion site to this one called MisterHyster Sisters.......
Unread 10-21-2010, 12:53 PM
Re: Help with the husband

Perhaps its a good idea for the doctor/surgeon to have a chat with your hubby to let him know how serious this surgery is and what is involved and that YOU need his physical and emotional support

Most men dont realize how serious it is until the surgery has been performed and they realize just how much help their spouses need..

Some men like to make light of anything serious that may be happening with their spouses out of fear and because they feel helpless Be patient and help provide him with the information he needs
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Unread 10-21-2010, 12:56 PM
Re: Help with the husband

At the very top of this page is a "support" tab. Click on that, then click on the "for Men" tab. It seems pretty informative, considering I haven't scouted around much.
Unread 10-21-2010, 01:30 PM
Re: Help with the husband

My significant other seems to think it will be a walk in the park for me to. I really think he picks at me to try and calm himself. I'm having my surgery Nov. 16 and he thinks I should be ready to do my normal activities ie. work, cooking, cleaning buy the weekend.
Unread 10-21-2010, 01:43 PM
Re: Help with the husband

i hear you!
I am worried too that i will get a roll of the eyes for laying about and the dinner not made....i have been anemic for so long and tired all the time so i have seriously slacked in the housework dept. i don't want to keep talking about how exhausted i am, but i really think my family at this point just thinks i'm lazy-not that i don't love them and not that they are not wonderful, but they really have no idea how tired i have become....then i think about after the TAH and i just want to go and nap again!

my gyn says you'll be fine...won't need a tummy binder, will be able to do stairs, pain won't be out of control.... then when he left the room his nurse looked at me and said quietly "you are going to be knocked off your feet with this surgery, you won't be able to do anything for 6 weeks and going into it with such low iron and hemoglobin you will be totally weakened.

so ....i'm thinking she's right and my dr is just trying to sound positive
Unread 10-21-2010, 02:09 PM
Re: Help with the husband

Originally Posted by Stephie73 View Post
My significant other seems to think it will be a walk in the park for me to. I really think he picks at me to try and calm himself. I'm having my surgery Nov. 16 and he thinks I should be ready to do my normal activities ie. work, cooking, cleaning buy the weekend.
I would take him with you to your pre-op appt. so he can hear the doctor talk about your restrictions. My doc also gives the post-op instructions in written form.
Tell him that if you don't rest and allow yourself to fully heal, it will be even longer until you can have sex again.
If no other message gets through to him, that one should! Good luck!
Unread 10-21-2010, 02:34 PM
Re: Help with the husband

I have felt the same way so tired and all I want to do is sleep. He doesn't understand why i'm tired all the time. I told him I wish he could have my problems for just 1 day and he'd see why i'm so tired all the time.
Unread 10-21-2010, 02:38 PM
Re: Help with the husband

You can also find videos online of the exact surgery you are having done. I would not watch them "before" you have the surgery but if he wants to see them he will know exactly what is going to happen to you. Best wishes.
Unread 10-21-2010, 04:11 PM
Re: Help with the husband

I saw this suggestion on another thread and I can't remember who posted it but I can't resist passing it along here. Tell your husband to imaging having his prostate pulled out through his rectum along with his balls removed and then ask him how soon he'd be up to cooking and doing housework.

I've said it before. Men don't get uterii and ovaries. You have to translate it into body parts he actually has.

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