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I'm New, Nice, Nuerotic & Need Your Help! I'm New, Nice, Nuerotic & Need Your Help!

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Unread 10-24-2010, 10:26 PM
I'm New, Nice, Nuerotic & Need Your Help!

Sorry this is so long. I hope you all won’t see the length and move on.

Oct. 24
I am really happy to have found this site!!! I posted my first post in the newbie section yesterday, and was directed to several other links, including this one, that could apply to my issues.

Those who are familiar with this site, please direct me elsewhere if you feel I am in the wrong link.

I was really feeling down when I was searching the web for info on my issues and found this site. So my first post was pretty depressing. I don’t want to come across as a big whiner!! But I was in a whiny mood! I really feel lost a lot of the time and I really don’t have anyone “safe” to talk to. My parents are dead, and I’m an only girl with three brothers. My kids are all grown, except my one daughter that is in college, and she’s so busy I don’t want to bother her or worry her. I made it my goal when I got married, that I was going to raise a family in a stable and safe environment (very unlike the one I grew up in). So I have programmed myself to always try to make things seem "good" and stable at home. Unfortunately, there’s no denying that I have issues nowadays, so all of the kids know, to one degree or another, that Mom is NOT herself anymore. As I said in my first post, they really don’t know how to help and I hate to even bother them. Especially when I'm dealing with marriage issues. Sooo.... I’m hoping to find knowledge, wisdom and friends here. I know that I should fit in, because so many are struggling like me. In my world here at home, I am considered semi-psychotic. I am even copying and pasting a lot of the stories I’m finding here, to show my husband at some point. He acts like I am the only one on the planet who can’t snap back from a hysterectomy, etc.

Here is my first post (when I was sad, sad, sad) that gives an overview of my story since my hysterectomy last year.

Original First Post - Oct. 23

Well, it’s been a little over a year since my hysterectomy. I’m 51 years old. I had a complete hysterectomy, with ovaries and cervix. My reasons for the operation were heavy bleeding(fibroids) and the accompanying anemia, but mostly the terrible monthly hormonal issues that came with PMDD.

I had read in many posts and articles that a removal of the ovaries was pretty much a sure cure. My gyn doctor said he had a 95% success rate with women having PMDD, as far as “normalizing” them afterwords with HRT. I thought it would be a win-win since I would be done with heavy periods, and hopefully feel “normal” as far as my moods again.

After surgery, the doc put me on oral estrogen pills. Bad idea. I had told him I never could tolerate birth control pills – nausea, moodiness, etc. But he put my on the oral pill. They did nothing to help horrific hot flashes, night sweats, nausea, but the worst was the “alien syndrome”. That’s what I called it, cuz I didn’t know what else to call it. I felt like an alien in another person’s body. I perceived everything differently when I went home. I had to wash my sheets right away, cuz the smell of the detergent on them made me sick. I felt scared. I spent many days curled in a fetal position, praying to God that I could please feel like myself again, My son, who is a PA, was able to hurry and prescribe me a vivelle patch, so the nausea ended, and the hot flashes and night sweats progressively calmed way down.

Long story short, I’m currently off all HRT. No more hot flashes, sweats, etc. But I am not the same person. My 30 year happy marriage is almost over. We sleep in separate rooms. My kids have been through so much trauma watching me suffer emotionally, that they are at a complete loss as to how to help, but still love and care for me. I feel totally abandoned by my husband. I had a few angry outbursts at how he had reacted to my emotional breakdowns, and he has just basically moved on in life and left me behind. I think the main issue is the zero sex drive I now have and that was a big part of our marriage before. He has hinted at that, but has never said it outright
I’ve tried several anti-depressants, but could not tolerate the side effects, mostly nausea to the point of throwing up. I spend a lot of my day alone in my “quarters”. I seriously feel like Mr. Rochester’s wife in book/movie, Jane Eyre. ( I mean the crazy wife in the upstairs hide-a-way. ) I try to get myself psyched up about exercise and disciplined diet, but I lack motivation. My mind is a muddled mess, and I used to run a business and household with ease, read, write, etc. Now I get the barest of necessities done, and wander around where ever my distracted mind takes me. I feel scared, anxious and sad most of the time. I am really worried about my marriage, family, and my sanity!!!

Any advice or insights or experiences would be greatly appreciated!! BJ
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Unread 10-25-2010, 04:46 PM
Re: I'm New, Nice, Nuerotic & Need Your Help!

oh honey...i am so sorry the surgery has left you like this.........

i recovered well from my hyster (had kept my ovaries though) and then this year had an overlapping sphincteroplasty surgery with rectocele repair.. and i have not recovered from it yet.......

i'm sorry your husband couldn't be more supportive......

not all men are like that you know.......

sorry that you are going through this all alone.. but you don't have to be alone.. you are here now.......

Unread 10-25-2010, 08:15 PM
Re: I'm New, Nice, Nuerotic & Need Your Help!

I have moved your post here to the Hormone Central forum where I believe ladies will be able to offer you the best support!

Is there a specific reason you chose to stop using the Vivelle Dot? Many of the issues you are dealing with can be caused by low/no levels of estrogen. Lack of hormones causes more than hot flashes and night sweats. One can experience depression, lack of focus, lack of energy, lack of sexual desire, and more.

I would encourage you to sit down and talk to your doctor about what you are experiencing and ask for some suggestions. You may also want to consider working with a counselor to help you work through the emotions of this whole process.

in there!

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