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mental block? mental block?

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Unread 11-12-2001, 10:54 AM
mental block?

Hi, I felt really dumb after I left the dr's Fri. I went in to ask questions about the LAVH I am to have on the 26th. The first thing he said (I guess) was that if he got in there and things didn't look good (this is hubby version) he would close me up and I would be sent to oncologist at bigger hospital where they would do the surgery. He said he told me this on the phone too. I don't remember that either. I had it changed around to something else.
Hubby and dr must have thought I was nuts, I just went on asking my list of questions and made no reference to what I had just been told, so I didn't ask any questions about it!
Now I have to wonder why till next Fri at my pre-op.
Do they do that? Just close you up and ship you off? He even said what day it would be.
Part that I do remember, is asking if he would biospy the ovaries and lymph nodes, he said no. I thought that was part of the idea to make sure it wasn't anywhere else. I have pretty much decided that he can take the ovaries (he said he would anyway if they looked bad).
Everytime I think I understand what is going on, or am told that this is the last of it, I get tossed a curve ball. I don't even know if I should have by-passed my GYN and headed to the ON, it sounds like that is where I'll end up anyway.
I did tell dr that I am depressed and he started my on Zoloft. We just moved 800 miles from home, I'm scared and I'm lonely. To top it off, my in-laws won't get here to help till after it's over. I really was wanting my mother-in-law here for support before hand.
I keep telling my self that all of my feelings are normal, but it isn't helping much. The biggest part is wondering if I will have to have 2 surgeries instead of one, or if it is in other parts.
Thank you all so much.
Dr also told me not to spend to much time here and obsess about it. Men!
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Unread 11-12-2001, 11:07 AM
mental block?

Dear, if you are confused at to what the doctor told you, then by all means pick up the phone. Maybe a consultation would do you good and you could take some notes. I hate that confused state of mind and lets face it....he is getting paid to take care ofyou and give you informed information. IF you are not happy with him now, then maybe you should look into a second opinion.
Unread 11-12-2001, 11:50 AM
mental block?

Hi Pam,
Sorry to hear you are having to go through this confusion. I am thinking perhaps you could ask your gyn if he thinks it would be helpful to consult with the oncologist first? Or even better, having the oncologist attend the surgery perhaps?
In my case my gyn first consulted with the oncologists and he attended my surgery. I am both their patients now, although I never met the oncologist until he came to see me in my room after surgery.

I would think that it would be easier to have everyone there that may be needed, then to make you go through 2 surgeries.

As Cyd said, perhaps a call is in order to the doctor about this rather than wondering about it. And if you have questions that you feel you want to ask the oncologist, then see if he can set you up with an appt. with him/her beforehand.
All the best, and keep us posted !!
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Unread 11-12-2001, 02:46 PM
mental block?

Your Dr told you not to spend so much time here ? Does that mean here at hystersisters ? or his office ? The nerve of some Drs.
You get on that phone and clarify all the confusion. No. 1 . I would get a 2nd opinion from an oncologist if you arent happy with this and
No. 2 .... what is wrong with obsessing about cancer when you have it and dont know what is going to happen? What would this Dr do if it was him? Would he go and play golf or would he be concerned about himself?

When I was diagnosed with my condition, I really let the Drs walk over me. In hindsight I wish I had gone for a 2nd opinion. but that is the past. So he wants to cut you open, and if it is too bad sew you back up and then send you for a 2nd opinion and then cut you open again? I would be asking certainly about having the oncologist at the first operation.
Sorry to be so forward and outspoken here but it annoys me sometimes , how Drs think they are so high and mighty. :hair:

Now back to you... it is normal to stress when cancer is/maybe involved . It is pretty scary stuff. and you do go into a daze for awhile , that is normal also. and it is normal to wonder if it is elsewhere . So you are perfectly normal

But dont ever forget that we are here and we are all perfectly normal too. We care about you and what happens and we give great hugs. you take care and we all have you close to our heart
Unread 11-12-2001, 04:20 PM
Mental block, really

Thank you for being forward and out spoken.
He ment here with the sisters and on the internet in general. I told him it makes me feel better to read what other women have to say, because it does..
I really meant that I blocked it out. (what he said) It was like I blacked out and only heard what I wanted to hear after his opening statement. He told me the same thing twice. It was me not him.
He is the 1st good doctor that I have had in this whole mess. He really does care. But he is a man. He can't understand that my uterus and I are very close and have been though alot together.(5 kids) He doesn't understand that I am totally freaked at being 47 with a 35 year old husband, or that I am starting to look older and feel older with out all of this stuff on top of it. Those are things that only another women would understand.
When I go to the pre-op on Fri, I will ask the questions that I needed to ask last time. Should I see the oncologist first, or just let him do it anyway. (The oncologist was the one who told my doctor to do it that way. ) I want to know why the oncologist would say that. I want to know if my doctor thinks that is how it will end up anyway.
Thank you so much for telling me what I need to hear. That this is normal. I really needed the hug and kiss.
Unread 11-12-2001, 05:06 PM
mental block?

Oh Pam , you poor thing , you have so much on your plate .

Lets start at the beginning.... you like your Dr.. thats great, so keep him ( maybe you will just have to train him ) When you do go to the preop, have 2 sets of questions, one for you and one for him. Make him go question by question and dont let him continue until you have an answer.

When you go for your preop . sit the Dr down and ask him why he proposes the 2nd surgery , when, if he had the oncologist attending the 1st it would save you having to have two ops. I had to have quite a few ops and believe me each one gets harder to recover from. Anaesthetic never does anyone any good. I know quite a few ladies here have had the oncologist attend their hysterectomy. So it can be done.

Explain to him about this site , tell him that you get support from us . I am sure he wont understand at all if he is anything like my Dr. They thought I had lost it when I told them about how much support I was receiving here . But honestly I didnt get any support from the oncology team , that I was under . I only got through with the help of hystersisters and girls I have met through it. You can your Dr and bash your head against a wall but some of them will never understand. Maybe they feel threatened that you are becoming ' educated' about your body.
Best of luck with it all , Pam and please let us know how you go. Much love always x x x
Unread 11-12-2001, 06:22 PM
mental block?

Hi Pam... sorry you are confused and depressed... I can realate to you.. The confusion is natural I think... I can remember the first visit when I was informed that i had cancer.. I think I was in shock...
I wonder why they didnt do a CT scan or a MRI... that is how my dr knew that the cancer was not in my lymph nodes...and found it in my ovary also... my gyno did the surgery knowing it was cancer...
I am also far away from my family... I moved up here to Pennsylvania 18 months ago from Louisiana... all of my family are still there... ( I met my hubby on icq ) so I can understand how you must be feeling... it is hard enough being far from home and having surgery... but to have cancer on top of everything else......
I think the hardest part is not knowing what you are facing... Keep us posted on your progress and remember when you are feeling all alone and missing your family .. you have a whole buch of sisters here online... imagine us holding your hand when you need it...... good luck......

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