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Stuck on the "plateau" WARNING MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO SOME Stuck on the "plateau" WARNING MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO SOME

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  #1  
Unread 11-17-2001, 07:21 PM
Stuck on the "plateau" WARNING MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO SOME

I'll try to be very tactful here, ok?

My biggest biggest concern with this surgery was just how it was going to affect my physical relationship with DH. Not to sound hokey, but despite my physical problems (ie non stop spotting and bleeding) DH and I were always perfect for each other, especially in the last year when I came off BCP's since they were no longer controlling my medical difficulties.

I cried and fretted about the whole thing, ended up having an abdominal procedure, retaining both ovaries and cervix, so things should be just great, right? Libido has been in over drive since about 7 days after surgery, was released for all activities 2 and a half weeks ago. While things can't be classified as "terrible" (and I truly ache for those women who have posted lately about the difficulties they are having) things physically are nowhere close to what I had come to expect after 20 years. And of course I made the mistake of mentioning to DH that we needed to do a little more experimenting because things are different for me, and that knowledge seems to be causing a few "problems" for him. Great, just what I needed, for both of us to be frustrated

I know that everyone is different, so other readers shouldn't panic if you read this post, but I am really developing an attitude about things being so out of wack right now. The "old favorites" leave me stuck in plateau (no 'o' darn how annoying when your heart pounds just watching him walk into the room). Any "new games" that get me to that final destination have ended up with the reverse problem - I'm fine, he isn't. I really miss the uterine contractions (OBVIOUS to me now, but was completely oblivous to what I was feeling before surgery) because that big 'o' when it happens is very different. Plus, my now "pre programmed" (learned behavior after 20 years) keeps interfering - I keep going back physically to things unconsciously that 8 weeks ago were great, and end up disappointed when the old reactions and sensations just aren't there.

Now I'm guessing that my body will eventually adjust/adapt and I won't think anything about this a year from now. But right now I wish there was some way that I didn't have to put so much "effort" into this process when everything used to be so simple. I hate wine, haven't had any alcohol for 16 years, but had some in the last two weeks to try to just relax a little more but it didn't seem to matter. Lubrication has definitely not been a problem but tried an extra lubricant anyway - didn't matter. Feel like I've tried every position except hanging from the ceiling fan with little result.


What on earth can I do to retrain my mind and body to my new "environment"? I have a more than willing "research assistant". While we aren't ancient, we certainly aren't teenagers anymore, so there's somewhat of a limit on just how often we are able to work on this little problem. Plus we have two kids at home, so the "pretend you are getting to know each other for the first time" can be a little difficult if you feel you have an audience in the next room. I never dreamed I would be this frustrated, especially since my libido is sky high. Both hyst women that I know who are close to my age said everything was just great for them, can't relate to what I'm feeling.

If you hear a thumping sound, its just me banging my head against the wall.
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  #2  
Unread 11-18-2001, 05:51 AM
Stuck on the "plateau" WARNING MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO SOME

{{{Lisa}}}

I am sorry that you are feeling so frustrated right now. It could be possible that you are still in the healing process that is causing this plateau. It takes a while for everything inside to heal, and nerves in that are affected during surgery. There is also the anesthesia that takes awhile to completely leave our bodies. I am not saying these are definitely the culprits, but time should tell. How frustrating is that answer! Everyone says 6-8 weeks before resuming regular activities, but it is a good 6 months before our bodies are 80% healed. One year to get to 100%. Give yourself some time to heal a little more and see if it makes a difference. Keep trying in the meantime!
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